


Still A Better Love Story Than Twilight

by KB9VCN



Category: Vocaloid
Genre: Action, Alternate Universe - Vampire, Angst, F/F, Gratuitous nudity, Horror, Humor, Open Ended Serial, Romance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-04-21
Updated: 2018-04-01
Packaged: 2018-08-29 20:04:46
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 20
Words: 41,034
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8503573
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KB9VCN/pseuds/KB9VCN
Summary: Published 21-Apr-2013; humor/romance; about 2000 words.This contains mild adult humor.  Reader discretion is advised.





	1. First Blood

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Published 21-Apr-2013; humor/romance; about 2000 words.
> 
> This contains mild adult humor. Reader discretion is advised.

Miku Hatsune— college freshman, varsity cheerleader, community volunteer, and all-around outgoing and vivacious young woman— was trying to go to sleep early. She had a full day of classes tomorrow, with cheerleading practice after, and she wanted to be fully rested and at her cheerful best.

Her residence-hall room was dark and still. Miku's room-mate (and life-long best friend) Gumi was spending another late night at the college library. ("NERD!," Miku had said to Gumi with teasing affection as Gumi left, which had earned Miku an equally affectionate raised middle finger from Gumi.)

And the hallway outside her unlocked and cracked door was quiet. Miku (an above-average student herself) and Gumi had enrolled in an honors program, and their floor had extended quiet hours through the week.

But Miku was having trouble sleeping because of the late autumn heat. Her room faced west, and even the massive residence-hall HVAC system could not keep up with the heat of the evening sun. Yellowed vertical blinds hung limply over her window, blocking the light but not the heat. Miku had left both the window and the door open, but there was little air flow between them.

The sun was setting late, especially from the view of an upper-floor window and an unobstructed western horizon. Miku threw back her sheets, tossed and turned, and sighed in relief when the sun finally set.

A few minutes later... Miku was no longer alone.

A black shape seemed to glide into the room, drifting towards Miku's lower bunk bedside. It stood still and silent, watching Miku sleep, as if it were waiting for the right moment... or willing something to happen.

And it happened. Miku turned again in her sleep. She was wearing an oversized T-shirt, and as she turned, her body pulled it down, exposing her lower neck and shoulder with the soft glow of a thin film of sweat.

The black shape began to lean in, slowly at first, but then faster. Its eyes, hidden in the shadows of a soft hood, glowed blood-red. It leaned into Miku's shoulder with a soft hiss.

And the silence was broken by a piercing female shriek.

—

Miku, unharmed and now fully awake, sat up in bed, holding back the black shape's head by one delicate ear. She turned on a small bedside lamp with her free hand.

"Ow ow ow ow ow ow," the black shape said. Its hood fell back to reveal the long soft pink hair of a very beautiful young woman, perhaps a few years older than Miku.

"Excuse me," Miku said, "but what do you think you're doing?"

The woman rolled her eyes, which had faded from blood-red to a deep blue. "Why, I am performing the 'Hawaiian War Chant'... what does it LOOK like I am doing?"

"Aggravated assault?" Miku said.

"Ow ow ow," the woman said again. "The only assault committed in this room has been against my own person. Would you please release my ear? If you would, I promise to back away from you."

Miku reluctantly released the offending ear. The woman stood back and up, rubbing the side of her head. "Thank you," she said. "How did you catch my ear? No human has ever caught me before."

"Don't know, really. Quick reflexes, I guess," Miku said modestly. "No weirdo has ever tried to molest me before, either."

"I was not trying to molest you," the woman said in a slightly offended tone. "I was only trying to drink some of your blood."

"Oh, that's much less serious," Miku said with a smirk. "You know, it's rude to try to drink someone's blood without asking permission."

"I have not had a great deal of positive response," the woman said dryly, "to my requests to drink even a small amount of a stranger's blood."

"You haven't tried asking me," Miku said.

The woman raised one eyebrow. "...should I?"

"Go for it," Miku said with an encouraging smile.

"Very well," the woman said. "May I drink a small amount of your blood?"

Miku swallowed heavily and gathered up all of her nerve. "...yes," she said. "But on one condition."

The woman frowned. "You would ask a boon of me? I do not usually contract with mortals merely for one feeding. What would you have me do?"

"I wanna take you out on a date," Miku said earnestly. "Are you free this Friday? Say, six o'clock?"

The woman stared at Miku for a long silent moment. "...WHAT." she finally said flatly. "WHY?"

"Three reasons," Miku said. "One: You're obviously interested in me, or at least, in my shoulder. Two: As for me, I'm gay as a daffodil. And I can't see much of you in all that black clothing— but from what I can see? You FINE. And three: I'm OK with some making-out, but I don't do one-night stands, and I'd like to get to know you."

"...I see," the woman said, still taken aback. "Pardon my surprise. I am unused to consent from my victims, let alone any interest in seeing me again."

"You seem like a nice person, now that we've talked a little bit," Miku said. "You really should just talk to people before you try to go all weird on them. Oh, and you probably shouldn't refer to them as your 'victims'. That doesn't exactly suggest a mutually beneficial relationship."

"You might have a point," the woman admitted. "Very well. I agree to your boon. I shall return to your room this Friday at six o'clock, to spend the evening with you as you please."

Miku helpfully pulled her shirt down, exposing her shoulder again. "And in that case," she said, "I agree to your macking on me."

The woman hissed softly again, as if she were breathing out heavily. "Such an exquisite collarbone," she said out loud to herself.

"Pervert," Miku said. "Try not to leave any hickeys high on my neck, OK?... Oh, wow! Nice fangs! Did you— OW! HEY! You really BIT me! Are you CRAZY? Oh no, I'm bleeding! Oh no...

"Oh... Ooohhhhh... Oh, YESSSSS..."

After a moment that seemed to last for hours, the woman stood back and up again. She modestly held a hand in front of her mouth, thoughtfully sparing Miku the sight of her own blood. "...well?" she asked expectantly. "As you young people say: 'Was it good for you?'"

Miku was still breathing heavily. "WHAT was THAT?" she gasped. "That was... uh... well... what WAS that?" She raised a hand to her neck, and found that the bite wound had already closed.

The woman licked the last of the blood from her teeth, and then smiled sweetly. "It is an agreeable side-effect for both of us. When I must take blood by force, the effect serves to calm the vi— er, human, and inhibit her fear, so that I need not fight her as I feed. But in the rare case where a human gives consent, as you did? With no fear to overcome, the effect becomes one of overwhelming pleasure, bordering on the erotic. Or so I have been told."

"Oh, wow!" Miku said hazily. "You're a vampire!"

The woman face-palmed. "I had assumed that you had already arrived at that conclusion... Tell me, girl. If you had not realized I was a vampire, then exactly what did you think I was doing?"

"I thought you were just a socially awkward live-action role-player grad-student who was sneaking around and looking for innocent freshmen to hit on," Miku said. "I knew a girl back in high school who was into that kind of stuff. Instead of kissing guys at parties, she would put in fake fangs and nibble on their necks. But she was straight, darn it, and she never made a move on me. She was a real goth cutie."

"I see," the woman said again. "It seems our meeting was quite fortuitous. In addition to being a lonely and adventurous homosexual, you also have something of an unfulfilled vampire fetish."

"When you put it that way," Miku said, "you make it sound like I'm the weirdo here. Lots of girls are hot for vampires these days, you know?"

The woman giggled. "I find that unlikely," she said. "But I must apologize, for I have taken rather more blood from you than I first intended. I should go, so that you may rest. We can talk at length after I return for your date."

Miku fell back in her bed. "Um, are you really OK with that? Sorry, I didn't really know what I was asking... and from whom I was asking it..."

"I have already agreed to your boon," the woman said solemnly. "I am now bound to honor your wishes, on pain of my own existence. And even if I were not so bound... you are a most intriguing young woman, Miku Hatsune."

"How do you know my name?" Miku asked nervously. "Can you read my mind?"

"Not exactly," the woman said, "although I do have many psychic abilities. But rather, I can read the student ID that you left on your desk."

"Oh," Miku said. "Hey, wait! Don't go yet! What's YOUR name?"

"Forgive me," the woman said, "but I am not yet comfortable with revealing my identity. Perhaps I will share my name with you later. Sleep well, Miku. I sincerely look forward to seeing you again."

Miku watched the woman leave her room. And then, she stared up at the bottom of Gumi's bunk-bed, and giggled to herself. _Gumi is not going to believe this!_ , Miku thought.

_Gumi is not going to believe that I got a date with an OLDER WOMAN!_

—

Luka smiled to herself as she easily made her exit from the residence hall unseen. She had taken her fill of blood, and she had some pleasant thoughts to ponder.

She had long ago been invited to enter every residence hall on campus, as well as every lecture hall and administrative building, and she came and went as she pleased. The campus buildings also had many convenient storage rooms and hidden spaces for her to hide from the sun during the day.

The college campus, and the small city and campus town surrounding it, offered Luka a large and ever-changing population of humans to feed on. She was an old vampire, intelligent and experienced, and she had little trouble feeding nightly. She had long ago learned how to leave wounds that healed almost instantly after feeding, and very few of her "victims" even knew that anything had happened to them.

And it had been several years since she had struck up a friendship with any being, human or inhuman. Nor had she been forced to do battle with any other supernatural entities for some time— they were a rarity in the modern world. She had no reason even to speak for weeks at a time.

Despite her comfortable existence on the busy and crowded college campus, Luka was very much alone in the world. She was a solitary creature, both as a vampire and by her own personality, but were she to stop and think about it too much... she was lonely.

She found herself inappropriately (for a vampire of her age) excited at the prospect of human companionship, despite all the dangers granting such a boon entailed. The campus was teeming with beautiful and intelligent young men and women, but none had piqued her interest as Miku had done. Somehow, Miku was special.

And there was also the question of Miku's "quick reflexes," as she had put it. No human should have been able to catch an old vampire like Luka, and no human should have been able to hold Luka back. Luka was very wise, and she found herself excited at the challenge of a new mystery to solve.

It had been a most promising night, Luka thought to herself. Some nights, it was good to be a vampire.


	2. First Date 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Published 28-Apr-2013; humor/romance; about 2100 words.
> 
> I briefly considered writing Ruko's coffee-house into the story, but then I decided to use another Vocaloid in this AU.
> 
> This contains mild adult humor and themes, gratuitous weirdness, and a gross-out joke. Reader discretion is advised.

Miku was standing in front of her residence-hall room dresser mirror, touching up her make-up for the fifth or sixth final time. In order to dress up for her date without being too formal, she was wearing a long-sleeved button-down blouse and her best jeans.

A digital clock on the dresser turned from 5:59PM to 6:00PM, and a few seconds later, someone knocked firmly at the door. "Do I look OK, Gumi?" a panicking Miku asked. "Is this too much eyeliner? Is my lipstick too bright? Are my twintails straight?"

Gumi was leaning against the wall across from Miku and next to the door, watching her with gentle amusement. "You look just fine to me, Miku," she said. "Relax, strike a pose and think sexy thoughts, and I'll get the door for you."

Gumi opened the door to find a vaguely female-shaped person wearing a loose black hooded sweater, black tights under a short black skirt, low-heeled black boots, black gloves, and a full black face mask and heavy wrap-around sunglasses.

Without skipping a beat, Gumi turned back to Miku. "I'm afraid you'll have to postpone your date. Apparently, we're surrounded by ninjas."

"Not to be pedantic," the woman said from behind her mask, "but if I were not Miku's date, then I would be a _kunoichi_ instead of a ninja."

"Sorry, my anime-level Japanese isn't very good," Gumi said with a grin. "Hello. I'm Gumi, the nerdy roommate and heterosexual sidekick."

"I am pleased to meet you," the woman said. "I am the mysterious older woman and unexpected romantic interest."

"Why are you wearing so much clothing when it's so hot—" Miku suddenly cut herself off and slapped her forehead. "The SUN! Oh, I am SO SORRY! I didn't mean to make you come out in the daytime! Why didn't you say something?"

"You stated your wishes clearly," the woman said calmly, "and I chose to grant them. A boon is not to be negotiated—"

"Forget the stupid boon!" Miku cried. "How could you let me put you in so much danger just for a date?"

"Please do not worry, Miku," the woman said. "I often walk about during the daylight hours of my own accord, and I was well prepared. And I need only shield my skin from direct sunlight."

"Do you have a skin condition?" Gumi asked. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have joked about your clothes. But yeah, aren't you hot dressed like that?"

The woman glanced behind Gumi to make sure the sunlight from the open window would not reach her. And then, she pulled off one glove. "Pardon my hand," she said as she held it to Gumi's cheek.

"YEEEK!" said Gumi with a shudder. "No, I guess not! Have you been moisturizing with liquid nitrogen?"

"You know what they say," Miku said nervously. "'Cold hands, warm heart.'"

The woman gazed at Miku from behind her mask and sunglasses. Even though her face was hidden, she seemed to be genuinely touched by Miku's casual compliment and concern for her well-being.

After a long awkward pause, Gumi cleared her throat, and gently pushed Miku towards the woman and the open door. "Oh-KAY! Don't let me keep you! Run along now, and go do some lesbian stuff!"

"We will," an amused Miku said. "And you be sure to run along to the library and do some of your NERD! stuff."

Gumi gave Miku the finger again. "Screw you, and have a good evening!"

"Bite me, and thanks!" Miku closed the door behind her and the woman.

Gumi breathed out heavily. _Well, that was awkward_ , she thought. _I didn't even get to see what Miku's date looks like—_

And then, Gumi paused. She looked at herself in the mirror from where Miku had been touching up her make-up— and where the woman had been standing.

_I could swear_ , Gumi thought to herself, _that Miku's date didn't have a reflection in the mirror!..._

—

Miku and Luka walked side by side away from the residence hall and in the general direction of the campus-town restaurants. The sidewalk was crowded with new students from many countries and cultures, and even in her unusual clothing, Luka drew little attention.

"You and Gumi seem to get along well," Luka said. "Did you know her before college?"

"Since our first year of grade school, actually," Miku said. "She lived nearby, and she came from a, um, broken family, and she hung out at my house all the time. I was a single adopted child, and she's been like a sister to me. And yeah, we tease each other a lot, but you have to be careful around her. She's actually really sensitive. Sometimes she's a complete 'cry-baby'."

"She did seem like a sensitive soul," Luka noted. "She also seemed very intelligent."

"Yeah, she's scary smart. Like, 'soopah-genius' smart. She could've graduated from high school early, but she waited for me to graduate, and she read the whole school library while she was waiting for me. I guess I should warn you that Gumi and I are inseperable. We're two for the price of one."

"Pardon my asking," Luka asked, "but if the two of you are that close, have you not thought of asking her on a date?"

"Nah," Miku said. "Ol' Gumi-bear is as straight as they come, even though she's always asking me if I want to, quote, 'fool around'. And a date with her would be like kissing a sister...

"But anyway. Where would you like to go to eat? We should make a decision before we walk too far in any one direction."

"Miku?... I cannot eat solid food," Luka said gently.

Miku face-palmed again. "Ah. Sorry. You're gonna have to help me out with exactly what you can and can't do—"

"To be specific," Luka continued, "I can chew and swallow solid food. But I have no need or ability to digest food for energy, and so it simply festers in my stomach until I force myself to regurgitate it."

"Aaaaannnd I just lost my appetite," Miku said with a grimace. "Can you drink? I mean, besides, um, 'ood-blay'."

"Yes, I can drink anything," Luka said. "But, while we are on the subject. Will you allow me to feed again? I can survive without 'ood-blay' for several days, but I prefer to consume a small amount every night."

Miku pointed at her collar with a wink. "I wore a blouse with buttons in the front for a reason. But can you wait until the end of our date? If it's anything like last time, it'd be, um, anti-climactic to do that first. Literally."

"Very well," Luka said with some amusement. "Yes, I can certainly wait that long."

"And in the meantime," Miku said, "I know just the place for us. I'm new in town, but I already have a favorite coffee-house. It's usually quiet, even on a Friday night. And it's at a basement level, with no windows."

"If it is your favorite," Luka said, "I am sure that I will enjoy it as well."

"And just wait," Miku said with a silly grin, "until you meet the barista." 

—

Luka followed Miku down a set of recessed concrete steps and into the basement coffee house. As Miku walked through the heavy front doors, a tiny girl with long wild red hair looked up from behind the counter.

"Hello, Miki," said Miku, with one hand held up in greeting. "Working the Friday night shift by yourself again?"

"Hi, Miku!" the redhead said cheerfully. "No injuries or deaths in the workplace today... yet! Who's your extremely menacing friend?"

As Luka pulled off her mask and sunglasses in the safety of the basement-level room, Miku glanced at Luka nervously. "Um... actually, I'm not sure. It's kind of complicated..."

"Contextual social cognition complexity overload anxiety disorder, huh?" Miki said sympathetically. "Ooh, I HATE it when that happens...

"Welcome to SF-A2 Coffee, Ms. Miku's Friend. My name is Miki, and I'll be your beverage request fulfillment technician, barring the total collapse of the space-time continuum."

"I should think that disclaimer applies to all business transactions," Luka said.

"Please take your time and look over our menu of the wretched excesses of exploitative post-scarcity global free-markets that are rending our society asunder," Miki said. "The usual, Miku?"

"Yes, please," said Miku. She leaned back and whispered in Luka's ear. "She memorized my favorite after one visit."

"One double ristretto venti full-roast half-soy nonfat decaf organic chocolate brownie iced vanilla cappuccino with whipped cream, extra foam, three ice cubes and a spring onion, coming up!"

"So... many... words..." Luka whispered in awe.

"And for you, Ms. Miku's Friend?" asked Miki with her best customer-service smile, as she effortlessly operated several coffee machines simultaneously.

An overwhelmed Luka stammered the first syllable that came to her vampiric mind. "Buh— buh— bloo—"

"BLACK COFFEE!" Miku shouted. "Um, cream on the side. Is that OK?" A wide-eyed Luka nodded dumbly.

Miki served the two coffees quickly. "Here's your BLACK COFFEE! with cream, and here's your OH WOW!"

Miku blinked. "I don't usually get an 'oh wow'. Is that a special that comes free with a cappuccino today?"

"Lookit! Lookit!" Miki said excitedly. "The foam on your cappuccino looks just like the God-forsaken desolate moonscape of the Montes Cordillera!"

Miku looked at her coffee askance, one eye narrowed. "Miki?... I have no idea what I'm supposed to be seeing."

"If you clear your mind and unfocus your eyes," Miki suggested, "it helps you see the true horrors behind the thin veneer of your fragile sanity."

Both Luka and Miku stared blankly at Miku's coffee, eyes crossed and heads tilted at odd angles, but to no avail.

"If there's anything else you need," Miki said, "just let me know, and I'll try to extract it from this planet's beleaguered ecosystem with a minimum of irreparable destruction. Have a nice day!"

Luka eyed Miki as she trotted away from the counter. "The atmosphere of this establishment is remarkably grim," Luka thought out loud, "with occasional touches of existential nihilism."

Miku picked up her cup in both hands and continued to study it intently. "I don't know whether to drink this," she said, "or to film an experimental black-and-white horror movie based on it."

—

Luka and Miku took a small two-seat table in a far corner of the coffee house. Luka glanced back at the counter again. "Is Miki always, um?..."

"Clinically insane?" said Miku. "Yeah, pretty much. She's been working behind the counter every time I've come here. I think her family owns this place. But I think she's a college freshman too. I've seen her on campus a few times, crying out at the futility of it all and shaking her tiny fist at the sky."

"She is your age?" Luka asked. "She seems younger than you, and she is certainly smaller than you."

Miku shrugged. "They say coffee stunts your growth."

"Ah," said Luka. "Um, thank you for the coffee, and thank you for covering for my foolishness. I am sorry, but I am not used to such intense social interactions."

"'Intense' is a good word for it," Miku agreed. "But speaking of social interactions. Now that we're here, I have, like, a gazillion things I can't wait to ask you."

Luka daintily added some cream to her coffee. "Ask what you will," she said. "I shall entertain all questions this day, though my answers might not please."

"Well, first off, um... do you like girls? I mean, really like girls? I wanna know if this is just a date between friends, or if it can be, um, more than friendly."

"That is actually two questions," Luka said. "Let me take them in order. As to the first question... Hmm. Well, the short answer is yes, I do 'really' like girls.

"When I was mortal, I was heterosexual. But when I turned, and I was reborn, many things changed. I suppose I might now best be described as... pansexual? Physical attraction and sensuality are major aspects of my condition, as you yourself know. And when one does not know where one might next find blood, one cannot afford to rule out any segment of the general population."

"Good point," Miku said.

"And as to your second question? Well, that is up to you. I am here because you wished it, although I am pleased to be here. But I suggest that those two goals are not at all exclusive, and that friendship is both a worthy goal in itself and the basis on which to build a deeper relationship."

Miku stared blankly at Luka. "...whoah," she said softly. "That was beautiful. You're really amazing, you know?"

Luka allowed herself a small satisfied smile and a sip of her coffee. "I do my best," she said. "Next question?"


	3. First Date 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Published 28-Apr-2013; humor/romance; about 1900 words.
> 
> This contains mild adult humor and themes. Reader discretion is advised.

"I know you shouldn't ask a lady her age," Miku said, "but... how old are you?"

"Three hundred fourteen," Luka said.

Miku stared blankly at her again while that number sank in.

"I was born as a mortal in the year of our Lord sixteen hundred and ninety-nine," Luka said, "and so I have— just!— had the privilege of experiencing five human centuries... Miku? Are you alright?"

"Three hundred fourteen years old?" Miku said. "I... I... I just can't believe it."

Luka frowned in concern. "Oh dear. Perhaps this is too much for you, after all..."

"I'm sorry," Miku said with a straight face. "It's just, you don't look a day over two hundred."

Luka blinked. And then, she held a hand to her mouth and laughed out loud.

_Gotcha_ , Miku thought to herself happily. "How many vampires are there now?"

"I do not know for certain," Luka said, "but I do have a rough idea. There are roughly three classes of my kind. There are perhaps five or six truly ancient vampires left in the modern world— vampires who have existed for thousands of years, or even longer. I am one of the merely mature vampires, and there are perhaps a few hundred of us at most. And then, there are the newly turned... but most of them do not survive a week."

"Have you met any other vampires?"

"I have met one of the ancients," Luka said distantly. "I was still young, recently turned and greatly distressed, and as luck would have it, I found his refuge during my early wanderings. The ancient vampires live as ascetic hermits, and they have gained mystical wisdom beyond imagining. I begged him for any knowledge he could share, any meaning he could give to my existence, any hope he could offer to ease my eternal burdens. And I shall never forget what that old man said to me."

"What did he say?" Miku asked, her eyes wide as saucers.

"GET OFF MY LAWN," Luka said in a mock gruff voice.

It was Miku's turn to blink, and then to laugh out loud. Luka laughed with her.

"Oh, Miku!" said Luka, brushing tears of mirth from her eyes. "You have no idea how wonderful it is to laugh like this!...

"But to answer the question completely. I have also met several of the vampires near my own age, but most of them only once as well. There is one female vampire whom I encounter with some regularity... in fact, we are overdue for another encounter. I fear we have a rather, um, unconventional relationship."

"In what way?" Miku asked, feeling a sudden twinge of same-sex jealousy.

"She keeps trying to kill me," Luka said matter-of-factly.

"...oh," said Miku, her jealousy fading away immediately.

"Or rather, she keeps trying to ensnare me in comically ridiculous adventures of her own making. She has a flair for the melodramatic, but also... well, since she is native British, perhaps I should say that she is barking MAD."

"Do you think she'll come here?" Miku asked eagerly. "Do you think I'll get to meet her too?"

"I should hope not," Luka said. "But you might actually know of her. Tell me, Miku. Do you listen to opera?"

"No, I'm afraid not," Miku said. "Gumi says I have a beautiful singing voice, but also that I have AWFUL taste in music."

"Oh?" asked Luka. "Do you like to sing, Miku?"

"It's weird," Miku confessed. "Yeah, I really like to sing... but sometimes, I also feel like I have to sing. It's like it's a part of what I am, you know?"

"Hmm," Luka said enigmatically.

"What was that?" Miku asked with a smile. "What was that enigmatic 'hmm' for?"

"Oh, nothing," Luka said, also enigmatically.

—

Some time later, Luka pushed her long-empty coffee cup aside. "I must beg an end to this audience. I do not usually talk this much, and I fear that I might soon lose my voice."

"One more question?" Miku asked.

"Alright," Luka said with a smile.

"What," Miku asked impatiently, "is your freakin' NAME?"

The smile fell from Luka's face. She turned slightly and looked past the room, into some distance that only she could see.

"...I am sorry... Miku Hatsune," she said slowly and quietly, "but I do not yet wish to share my name. You must think it strange that, having volunteered so much else, I would not share my name. But I have my reasons.

"Would this be acceptable? I would like to take you somewhere and show you something on our next date. Perhaps this Sunday afternoon, if you are free? And then, you shall know my name."

"Our next date? You mean... you want to see me again?" Miku said. "And we don't have to do a boon and stuff?"

"Yes," Luka said, a warm smile returning to her face. "If I may be so forward: You are special, Miku. You are already special to me. I am... captivated, and no boon and stuff is necessary. That is, if a second date is alright with you?"

_SQUEE!_ Miku thought. _SQUEE OHMIGOSH SQUEE SQUEE SHE LIKES ME SQUEE SQUEE SQUEE!_

"...yes, please," Miku said mildly.

—

Luka and Miku approached Miku's residence hall. The sun had set, and so Luka had taken off her face-mask and sunglasses.

"Thanks for walking me back," Miku said. "You're a real gentleman. Um, gentle-woman. Gentle-vampire. Gentle something or other."

"It was my pleasure," Luka said. "I wanted to make sure you were safe and sound. I would not want for you to be molested by a weirdo again."

"What do you mean, 'again'?" Miku said. "If I said I was molested by a weirdo, then I was wrong. She was kind of weird, I guess, but she was no weirdo."

"That is very kind of you to say," Luka said as they reached the front doors. "And yes, 'she' is kind of weird. But 'she' does her best."

"I guess this is good night. Thank you for answering all those stupid questions. I've had so much fun talking with you, and I can't wait to see you again."

"My feelings exactly," Luka said. "I did not realize how much I wanted companionship until you offered it to me."

"We don't have to wait until Sunday to talk again," Miku said. "Wanna text me? I'll give you my number—"

"I do not have a phone," Luka said.

"Oh," said Miku. "Want my e-mail address?"

"I do not have a computer."

"Oh. Wanna stand on the rooftops and shout my name?"

Luka smiled. "Perhaps I shall. But one thing remains, while we are still here, together."

Miku gazed into Luka's deep blue eyes, and she saw a flicker of red desire in the blue.

"...oh. Right," Miku said nervously. "The 'best part'. I can't believe I almost forgot about that... Um, right here? By the front doors?"

"This is a college campus on a Friday night," Luka said. "I expect a fair number of students, and faculty, are doing many unspeakable things together, in public, even as we speak."

"In that case," Miku said, as she fumbled with the top buttons of her blouse, "here come two more... Ha ha. Oh wow. Ha ha. My hands are shaking. Ha ha. My heart is pounding like crazy."

"I can hear it, Miku," said Luka. She put one arm around Miku's waist, held the back of Miku's head in her other hand, and effortlessly leaned Miku back. Miku felt the world spin around her.

Luka nuzzled the base of Miku's neck. "Ready?" she asked softly.

Miku nodded, closed her eyes, and surrendered herself.

Luka fed.

Miku melted.

"...Miku? I am done," Luka said, after another moment that seemed to last for hours. "...Miku? Are you alright?"

"Could you... hold me... for a minute?..." Miku gasped. "Just until... I get my... breath back. You took... it away."

"Yes," Luka said, pulling Miku in closer to her. "I can hold you. And I will."

—

Miku quietly opened her dorm-room door. The room was dark, but Gumi was still awake and reading a textbook under a tiny lamp in her upper bunk-bed. "Hey there," Gumi said. "How'd it go?"

"Couldn't have gone better," Miku said, as she walked up to their shared mini-fridge. "She wants to see me again. She said she was captivated."

"Score one for 'Team Miku'!" Gumi said proudly. "Do you want to see her again? Or at least, do you want to see her face-mask and sunglasses?"

"You'd better believe it," Miku said. She took a large carton of vegetable juice out of the fridge, and then took a long pull straight from the carton.

Gumi watched her with interest. _That's strange,_ Gumi thought. _Miku likes her juice, but she doesn't usually chug it down like she's low on fluids..._

Miku breathed out heavily, and put away what was left of the juice. "Whew. I needed that. I'm gonna crash, Gumi. Dating takes a lot out of you."

She flopped onto her lower bunk-bed without changing out of her clothes. "I can't believe I'm dating an adult. I can't believe I AM an adult. I feel like a whole new life is waiting for me..."

Gumi didn't answer. But, before Miku could fall asleep, she began to hear sniffling and sobbing noises from above.

_Aw nuts_ , Miku thought. _Was it something I said?_ "Talk to me, Gumi," she said.

"I'm sorry," Gumi said in a small sad voice. "...I'm really HAPPY for you, Miku."

"You sure don't sound like it," Miku said kindly. "You wanna bunk down with me tonight?"

"...yeah," Gumi said shakily. She switched off her reading light, scooted back and climbed down her ladder. The bunk bed frame creaked in the quiet room.

A moment later, Gumi awkwardly climbed over Miku, and then snuggled in between Miku and the wall, resting her head on Miku's shoulder.

"...ugh," Miku said. "So hot."

"Sorry," Gumi said again. "But you'll have a girlfriend, sooner or later, and then you won't have to put up with cry-babies any more."

Miku sighed. "Is that what you're worried about? We're a pair, Gumi-bear. I'm not going anywhere."

"Yes, you are," Gumi said. "You're going to become rich and famous, and rich, and gay-marry that woman, and have seventeen Science Babies with her, and live happily ever after. And I'll still be reading textbooks on Friday nights..."

"In the spare bedroom of our mansion," Miku said. "And you'll be Aunt Gumi to my Science Babies, and we'll all live happily ever after... but only until the man of your dreams comes along and steals you away and breaks MY heart."

"Now I know it's only a fairy tale," Gumi said. "Promise me, Miku. Promise we'll be best friends forever. Promise you won't forget about me."

"Cross my heart and hope to die," Miku said, "'GumiMiku': You and I. Now go to sleep, you big nerd."

"I'll let that one slide," Gumi said. "Oh, and you had better have your way with me while I'm in your bunk and you're still single."

"And now I know you feel better," Miku said with a smile. "Love you, Gumi."

Gumi closed her eyes. "Love you too."


	4. Second Date 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Published 5-May-2013; angst/humor/romance; about 2100 words.
> 
> This chapter is a downer, but bear with me. There's a pretty hot make-out scene in the next chapter.
> 
> This contains brief descriptions of graphic violence and adult themes. Reader discretion is advised.

Miku was standing near the residence hall front doors on a sunny Sunday afternoon, looking for Luka in the wrong direction.

"Hello, Miku," said Luka, wearing her usual all-black outfit, and appearing from out of nowhere behind Miku.

"GAH!" said Miku. "You know, you're going to have to learn to stomp your feet, or whistle, or something."

"I did not mean to startle you," Luka said. "but I tread softly from three hundred years' force of habit."

"S'alright," Miku said with a smile. "So, where did you want to go today? I think you said you wanted to show me something."

Luka answered with another question. "Do you have an automobile? We could walk, but it might take a few hours from here."

"Sure thing," Miku said. "I'm parked right behind the hall." She led Luka around the building and into a student parking lot.

They walked up to a blue-green Corolla that perfectly matched the color of Miku's hair. "This automobile suits you, Miku," said Luka, "and it appears to be brand new."

"Yup," Miku said proudly. "This is my baby. Well, sort of. I worked my butt off in high school to make the down payment, but my father covers the monthly payments."

"Your father must be quite generous," Luka said, as she waited for Miku to unlock the doors.

"Just one of the bennies of being a single child and Daddy's little princess," Miku said, as she opened the driver's-side door. "OK, hop in... Oh, is the door still locked?"

Seeing that Luka was having trouble opening the passenger-side door, Miku reached across and opened the door from the inside. "There you go... Anyway, I offered to get a job at college, but my father actually said no. He told me that, as long as I can keep my grades up, I should concentrate on having fun for the next four years."

"That is wonderful," Luka said, as she closed her door much too gently.

"Your door is ajar," Miku said. "Pull it harder... No, push it open, and then pull it harder than that... There you go. Yeah, my father is great. He even bought some stuff for Gumi when her family... couldn't be bothered. But I think he also wants me to have fun at college because I had a bad time in high school."

Luka looked at Miku with concern. "Was it because?..." she asked, not needing to finish her question.

"Yeah," Miku said. "I came out as soon as I knew, and I still don't know if I would do it again... I guess things are a lot better now for gay kids than they were just ten or twenty years ago, but high school is hard even when you're straight, and... well, let's just say that Gumi wasn't the only one who did a lot of crying back then. And I don't know what I would have done if Gumi hadn't been there for me. I might have done something really stupid."

"Did your parents support you?" Luka asked gently.

"My father warned me that it would be a hard path," Miku said, "but he also offered to beat the snot out of anyone, male or female, who gave me trouble about it. If I had let him do that, he'd be in jail for beating up half the school!..."

"But my mother..." Miku paused for a moment. "...she and I still talk, and we still love each other. And I still think that she's a good person. But... both of us know the other person is wrong, and there's nothing either of us can do about it.

Miku hung her head. "And the worst part is, I know that my parents had some really bad arguments about me after I came out. I know it's not my fault, but I can't help but think I've come between them... and sometimes, I think it might have been better if they had adopted someone else."

Luka didn't know what to say. After a moment, she cautiously rested a hand on Miku's shoulder instead.

Miku looked up again and rubbed her eyes. "Ah. Sorry. We're supposed to be on a date, and I'm supposed to be having fun, but I'm whining about my comfortable middle-class childhood in a stifling hot car instead."

She started the car's engine, and switched on its air conditioning. "That's better... Oh, you haven't put your seat belt on. No, it's over there... You just pull on it, and... here, let me. Pardon my reach." Miku nervously pulled the belt over critical areas of Luka's anatomy, and clicked the buckle into place.

Luka sat up stiffly, hands on her knees, and stared forwards unmoving, as if she were expecting great danger. "I'm beginning to think," an amused Miku said, "that you don't ride in cars very often."

"...maybe," Luka said in a small scared voice.

"Relax," Miku said. "I'm not that bad a driver."

—

Miku was driving slowly along a township road. The road was wide and well-maintained, but Miku was unfamiliar with its twists and turns.

"Stop here, please," Luka said. "There should be enough room to park your automobile along the side of the road here."

Miku pulled over as instructed, shut off the engine, and peeked through Luka's passenger-side window at the wooded hillside bordering the road. "Where?..." she asked.

"What I have to show you," Luka said, "is not visible from the road, but it is just over this hill. Um, could you release me?"

"Of course." Miku unbuckled Luka's seat belt, and then reached across Luka's lap and opened her door. "After you, Milady."

After locking her car, she followed Luka up the small but steep hill, and then, between the trees and pasture brush on the other side. "Is this private property?" she asked.

"Yes," Luka called back, "but the path is short, and I have never been confronted or asked to leave... You can see it now, Miku."

"...a graveyard?" Miku asked with a wry grin. "We're continuing with the gothic theme, I see... Sorry, I don't mean to make fun of it. It's really pretty out here."

"Yes," Luka said, "but I have something more specific to show you. It is in the back corner. Be careful, Miku. The ground is uneven, and the grass has not been cut for some time."

"I'm glad I wore jeans and heavy shoes," Miku said. "Wow, look at the dates on some of these gravestones. There's a lot of history here."

"Yes, there is," Luka said in a somber tone. She led Miku into a corner of the graveyard with only one marker still standing. "It is here."

Miku read the name inscribed on the gravestone out loud. "'Luka Megurine'... That's a pretty name. Was she one of your ancestors?"

"No, Miku," Luka said patiently. "She was me."

"...oh," Miku said. "I think I understand now."

"This is where I was buried," Luka said, "in the year of our Lord seventeen hundred and twenty, a few days short of my twenty-first birthday." She reached out and touched her own grave marker. "I expect the local genealogy society is curious as to why, in the oldest part of this remote boneyard, this grave alone remains marked. I believe mine might be the oldest marked grave in the county. 

"It is a strange sort of vanity, I suppose, but I have tended to my own grave for these past three-hundred years, and I have kept the stone in good repair. Perhaps my death and burial should be relegated to history... but I must never let myself forget what happened here after I was buried..."

Luka fell silent. Miku stood by, also remaining silent, guessing that Luka had much more to say, and waiting for her to find the words to say it.

"...this," Luka finally said, "is also where I was reborn as a vampire, perhaps a week after I was buried. I awoke and, having assumed I had simply been buried alive, I desperately kicked at the top of my pine-box coffin until it split, not knowing my newly inhuman strength... and then, I clawed my way up through the mud and the snow until I reached the surface. Luck was with me, for it was a winter night when I emerged. Had I freed myself during the daylight hours, I would have perished immediately. 

"Miku? When a vampire is abandoned after it has been turned, and is left to awaken by itself, it awakes in a greatly weakened state of intense bloodlust. This weakness is of both a mental and physical nature. 

"In a physical sense, when a vampire is in bloodlust, its eternal youth and beauty is lost, and it is little more than a dessicated corpse— a skeletal thing with leathery flesh and hollow burning eyes— a monster.

"And in a mental sense, the intense craving for blood overwhelms all rational thought. A vampire in bloodlust does not employ any discretion, nor does it soothe its victim, as I do with you. It feeds like an animal. 

"I found myself alone in the mud and the snow, and in the light of a full moon. I looked at my body, and saw that I was an animated corpse, a thing too horrible for any young woman to bear. And I lost my mind. 

"When I came to my senses, I was whole and well again, in the fire-side warmth of a nearby farm house... and covered in the blood and gore of a young man whom I had just MURDERED. More than murdered— I had literally torn him to pieces. I can still taste... I can still feel his still-warm gristle in my mouth."

Miku flinched and held a hand over her own mouth. But she remained silent.

"I fled his house immediately," Luka said, "but I remained here long enough to watch his funeral. He was also laid to rest in this graveyard. From the trees, I watched his family dig his grave and bury his remains. I watched his widow and small children mourn their dead husband and father. 

"I have always thought it somehow unjust... that my grave is still marked... but his grave... was never marked... and is... lost..."

Luka held her masked face in her gloved hands and trembled slightly. Miku still stood by silently, giving Luka the time she needed.

And then, Luka calmed herself and sighed heavily. "I have not taken another innocent life to this day. I try to consume a small amount of blood each night, instead of waiting until I must feed deeply, to lessen the risk of falling into bloodlust again. And, apart from the occasional dalliance, I have kept to myself for over three hundred years. Until now.

"I am happy that you wished to date me, Miku. Even if I never tasted your blood again, I would be happy merely to spend time with you, and to talk with you, and to laugh with you. I would be happy if things remained as they are between us. But I know that you want more. And damned fool that I am, I want more too. 

"But every moment you spend with me, Miku, you put yourself in extraordinary danger. Sooner or later, I will make a mistake, or find myself in circumstances beyond my own control, and I will kill again. And it might be you.

"And I felt that I owed you a chance to change your mind. Before you become too emotionally attached to me. Before you learn to cherish my name. I felt that I owed you a chance to return to your normal mortal human life.

"If you turned and fled now? If you ran back to your automobile and sped away? I would not blame you, and I would never try to see you again. I would try to forget that I ever met you. I would never speak your name again, Miku Hatsune.

"I offer you this choice. You can have a care-free college career, and a normal life, and a human lover... or you can try to love a monster who has innocent blood on her hands, and one who will someday kill again. The choice is now yours."

And then, Luka turned away from Miku. Staring at her own name on her own gravestone, Luka waited for Miku to run away.


	5. Second Date 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Published 5-May-2013; humor/romance; about 2000 words.
> 
> I don't usually write stuff like this, but I had half a chapter to fill, and so I tried to earn the "Mature" rating by describing one of Luka and Miku's trysts in more detail.
> 
> This contains weird adult themes and adult humor. Reader discretion is advised.

Luka stared at her name on her gravestone and waited. The graveyard remained as silent as it had been for most of the past three hundred years.

And then, Luka suddenly learned of Miku's choice, even though the silence remained unbroken. Miku threw herself at Luka and hugged Luka tightly.

Luka briefly trembled with emotion again. "...you are quite sure, Miku?" she asked, when she trusted herself enough to speak again.

"It might be a dangerous choice," Miku said into her shoulder. "And it might be hard, and weird, and crazy, and even stupid... but..."

She looked up at Luka, and gave Luka her best smile. "Totally worth it," she said with certainty.

Luka returned Miku's embrace. "Thank you, Miku." she said softly.

"You're welcome... Luka," said Miku. They held each other for a awhile longer.

And then, Miku looked up at Luka again. "Um, could we go somewhere else now? Unless there's something else we need to do here."

"No," Luka said contentedly, "I have done all that I came here to do. Where would you like to go?"

"Some place where you can get out of the sun, take off your mask, and... you know," Miku said. "Both of us have been reliving bad memories today— although I have no place to complain after hearing your memories!— and I thought maybe we could make some good memories now."

"I would like that very much," Luka said. "And if you do not mind another five-minute walk, I know where we can go."

—

Miku followed Luka under more trees and along the shallow bed of a meandering pasture stream. It had no running water, only some wet mud between large flat limestone rocks. Luka and Miku easily kept their feet dry as they walked.

"I thought you were a suburban vampire," Miku said, as she skipped from stone to stone, "but you seem to know this area pretty well."

"I was born and raised near here," Luka said. "I often played in this stream in my human youth. The house where I lived is long gone, and the homestead is now a field of corn. But this stream has changed very little in three centuries...

"However, this is a much newer addition." Luka and Miku walked up to a large abandoned concrete culvert. The steep side of a raised railroad track bed stretched out to both sides, but the tracks were gone, and the track bed was crowned with more pasture brush.

"If you call this 'much newer', I'd hate to see what you call 'much older'." Miku peeked inside the culvert. "It's both creepy and romantic. That's just perfect for us."

"And it seems to be conveniently free of broken beer bottles and illicit drug paraphernalia today," Luka noted. "Mind your head. It is not quite tall enough to stand... Ah, good. It is dry inside."

Miku found a small mound of gravel inside the culvert, sat down, and leaned back against its curved wall. "The only culverts near where I grew up were full of garbage and sewer water. Gumi would have loved something like this when she and I were still kids. She probably would still love it. It could be her Soopah Sekrit Nerd Lair."

Luka had pulled off her mask and pushed back her hood. "Perhaps we can bring Gumi here sometime later," she said, as she shook her long hair free. "But for today, I am glad that only you and I are here."

"Yeah," Miku said, as Luka kneeled beside her. "Me too... Hey, Luka? You're not in any hurry, are you?"

"I literally have all the time in this world," Luka said, as she leaned over Miku, with one hand on both sides of Miku's head. Luka's hair fell down and formed a pink curtain around Miku's head and shoulders.

"In that case, um... instead of just 'going for the jugular'... could you start with a kuh- kiss? And then, maybe you could take your time going from there down to my shoulder? I mean, if that's OK with you."

"What a lovely idea," Luka said. "You see? Ideas like this are why I let you make the choices in this relationship. For far too long, I have thought of feeding as only a chore."

"Just because a girl has a vampire fetish," Miku said, "and just because you happen to be a vampire? That doesn't mean you don't still have to romance her now and then."

"I shall never take you for granted," Luka said. She leaned down, lowered her head, and looked deep into Miku's wide green eyes. And then, she leaned in further for the kiss.

And when she didn't kiss as deeply as Miku wanted, Miku raised her own head and pressed her lips firmly against Luka's mouth. _A passionate first kiss,_ Luka thought. _It makes me feel alive again._

After some time, Luka turned her head slightly, and began to decorate Miku's cheek and jaw with more kisses. "Do you not find my lips cold?" she asked between pecks.

"Not at all," Miku said, already short of breath. "Don't stop... Oh, that's— BWAH HA HA HA HA HA!"

Luka raised an eyebrow. "That," she declared, "is not exactly the reaction I was anticipating."

Still giggling, Miku reached down and scrabbled at the concrete surface under her. "I am so sorry, Luka. My shirt pulled up, and it feels like there's a weed or something against my back... yeah, there it is."

Miku pulled out a dry foxtail head, held it up and looked at it, and then cast it aside. "I didn't see that when I sat down here. I'm really sorry. It's just, I'm crazy ticklish."

_THE SUBJECT IS TICKLISH_ , Luka thought to herself. _THIS INFORMATION IS TO BE RETAINED INDEFINITELY FOR POSSIBLE FUTURE APPLICATION._

"Do you think you could pick up where you left off?" Miku said softly. "I'll try to take your attentions more seriously this time."

"You are a most impudent child," Luka said melodramatically, returning to Miku's jawline. "But I shall carry on nonetheless."

Luka worked her way up Miku's jaw, taking a detour in order to nibble on her ear. "I remember," she said, "when a certain somebody played rough with my ear. I believe I shall take my revenge now."

"...show no mercy..." Miku whispered.

Luka ran her tongue and lips along the folds of Miku's ear, taking care to leave no skin untouched. She was rewarded with a very happy smile, and a first soft sigh, from Miku.

And then, Luka began her slow but sure descent along the length of Miku's neck. _Slowly, Luka,_ she thought to herself. _She is enjoying this, so work slowly, and make it last longer._

Miku pulled at Luka's still-gloved hand, and she pressed it against her own chest. But, instead of accepting the invitation to fondle Miku, Luka lowered her hand further and held it flat below Miku's breasts.

_I can feel her heart pound_ , Luka thought. _Her little heart is beating so fast. And she is so soft, and so warm. She is like a little bird in my hand. I must treasure this beautiful little bird._

Luka was near the base of Miku's neck now. But she continued further, pulling gently at Miku's shirt and tracing a line above Miku's collarbone. Miku rolled her head slightly away and twisted her shoulder.

Feeling the craving for Miku's blood rise up in her, Luka tilted her own head and playfully traced a pattern with one fang. Miku twisted against Luka again, as if she actually wanted the fang to break skin.

And then, Luka began to circle back to her final destination. Her eyes now glowed red with desire, and she knew that she would not be able to hold back much longer.

Without looking away from Miku's neck, she raised her hand and hastily pulled off her glove. And then, she felt for Miku's hand, held it, and linked fingers with Miku.

"...please," Miku gasped. "...DO IT."

With her lips still pressed against Miku's neck, tasting Miku's skin just one more time, Luka smiled. "Yes," she said simply.

And then, she fed.

Miku arched her back, scrabbled at the concrete again with her free hand, and made a strange half-grunting, half-squeaking sound. The effect was so utterly overwhelming that everything went white.

And though she still fed, Luka's eyes widened as well. _What is this feeling?_ she thought. _Am I feeling what she is feeling? This has never happened before!..._

_It... it feels... good._

Luka rolled away from Miku, caught her own breath, and examined herself, to make sure that she had not spilled any blood. And then, she turned back to Miku. "Um, are you alright?" she asked nervously. "I fear that, somehow, I rather let myself get carried away."

"I'm sorry," Miku said, still staring vacantly at the ceiling of the culvert. "But Miku isn't here anymore... because you SENT HER TO HEAVEN."

"Yes, I know," Luka said. She rolled over again, and lay beside Miku, and also looked up at the concrete above her. "I felt it too, Miku. I felt the effect myself, for the first time in three hundred years."

"Really?" Miku said. "That's awesome! Do you know why?"

"...I am not sure," Luka said hesitantly, closing her eyes.

But Luka suspected why.

She was not ready to admit it even to herself. But Luka suspected that, for the first time in three hundred years, she was falling in love.

—

An unhappy Miku parked her car in the student lot behind her hall, and then let Luka out. Despite the serious matters they had discussed earlier, Miku and Luka were only now having their first real argument.

"I don't want to wait until next Friday to see you again!" Miku said petulantly. "And besides, our football team has a home game, this Saturday, and I have a cheerleaders' dress rehearsal this Friday evening."

"Then I shall meet you after the rehearsal is over," Luka said. "Miku, our relationship has only just begun, and it might not be healthy to continue at this pace. And you also have your classes and activities, and your friend Gumi. And I need some time and space for reflection as well."

Miku pouted. "But it's five whole days without you! I'm gonna miss you so much!"

"I am sorry," Luka said. "But I promise you, our third date will be worth the wait."

"What do you mean?" Miku asked innocently, their argument suddenly forgetten.

"Oh, Miku!" an amused Luka said. "I am largely divorced from modern society, but I overhear many conversations, and I read the occasional magazine. Even I know what people often do on a third date."

"...oh," Miku said.

And then, Miku's face went very red. "...OH!," she said again.

Luka giggled. "I do not mean to embarrass you, Miku, but I see no reason not to be frank. I am quite sure now that you desire this, and I want to fulfill your desires.

"And before you ask: Yes, a vampire can do 'that' as well. I do not know if I can match this afternoon's performance, but I still think that I could make you very happy.

"As always, the choice is yours. But... after our third date has ended, I would be delighted to spend the night with you."

Miku gulped.

Luka leaned in towards Miku's face. The sun had not yet set, and so she was unable to raise her face-mask to kiss Miku goodbye. But she held Miku's face in one gloved hand and lovingly caressed Miku's cheek.

"I am sure that you have much to think about between now and Friday," Luka said. "But until then? Take care, dear Miku."

Miku was lost in a world of her own. She absently watched Luka walk away, but she did indeed have much to think about.

_Oh, WOW,_ Miku thought. _I'm gonna have SEX._

But then, she frowned. _Wait a minute,_ she thought. _Does what we did this afternoon already count as sex? I am so confused..._


	6. Third Date

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Published 11-May-2013; humor/romance; about 2100 words.
> 
> This contains adult themes and adult humor. Reader discretion is advised.

Miku's Friday-night cheerleading dress rehearsal had run long and late. The girls were still practicing their routines in the short grass of a soccer field at the edge of the campus, even though the field floodlights had long since switched on.

As soon as the sun had set, a mysterious older woman with pink hair had appeared from out of nowhere. She lurked in a line of trees along one side of the soccer field, unseen by all— or so she had thought.

"Hi, Ms. Miku's Friend!" a familiar voice suddenly said to her. "Whatcha doin' out here?... Oh, I see. Creeping on the cheerleaders, huh?"

Luka froze in surprise, and then turned to find Miki standing next to her, holding a pair of big heavy textbooks and a huge plastic mug of evening coffee.

"...Ah," Luka said. "Miki from the coffee-house, yes? Hello. I am only waiting to meet with Miku after her rehearsal—"

"Oh, I'm sorry!" Miki said. "Of course you're not a scary creeper."

Luka smiled. "That is alright—"

"You're a love-crazed obsessive stalker instead!" Miki declared.

Luka didn't like where this was going, and so she tried to change the subject. "How did you happen to see me here?"

"This is along a shortcut that I take back to the coffee-house," Miki explained. "And besides that? I'm always seeing things that other people can't see."

"...is that so?" Luka asked with genuine interest.

"Yup!" Miki said proudly. "And you know what else?"

"What is that?" Luka asked. For a moment, she imagined that she sensed something unusual about Miki, the same as she had done with Miku.

"Sometimes," Miki said in a conspiratory whisper, "the things I see aren't merely schizophrenic hallucinations. Sometimes they're actually there."

Luka liked where this was going even less than before. Forgetting her intuition, she tried to change the subject again. "I see that you are carrying philosophy textbooks, Miki. Do you enjoy philosophy?"

Miki nodded. "That's my major. But I guess I'm doing things backwards. Most people get their philosophy degree first, and then settle for a low-paying job at a coffee-house, making silly drinks and having pointless arguments with hyper-caffeinated hipsters."

"There is nothing wrong with that," Luka said with a smile, "as long as that is what you like."

Miki looked up at the night sky. "My minor is astronomy. That's my favorite subject, and an astronomy degree would be even more awesomely useless. But my math isn't good enough to major in astronomy.

"Even here in the city, the night sky is so beautiful. There's nothing like looking up at a night sky to remind you that our tiny terrestrial existence is utterly insignificant and devoid of any meaning or purpose."

"...quite," Luka said in reluctant agreement. They both looked up between the trees at the night sky for awhile.

When Miki spoke again, her voice had a more serious tone. "You and Miku are a couple, aren't you? I didn't mean to spy on you, but you looked like you were on a date, last week. And she looked like she was having fun talking to you."

"Yes," Luka said. "I would prefer to keep that a secret. But yes, Miku and I are dating now."

"That's so cool," Miki said. "Miku is really special, you know. I hope you can make her happy.

"I have lots of regular customers at the coffee-house. But a lot of them aren't very nice. A lot of them just yell at me, or else they creep on me— and I look like a little girl, and that makes it even more creepy. 

"And even if they are nice, after I try to talk to them, they stare at me like a deer caught in the headlights, and they can't wait to pay for their coffee and get out. In a way, that hurts me even more.

"Miku is one of the few regular customers who is always nice to me, and who has the patience to listen to me being weird. And I can tell that she's been through bad times, but she still loves to talk to people...

Miki blushed a little. "Oh, listen to me. Now I sound like I'm stalking Miku. But I hope you and Miku are happy together. And I hope you'll come back to the coffee-house sometime soon. It's been nice talking to you too."

"Thank you, Miki," said Luka. "I have enjoyed this as well. Yes, perhaps all three of us can have a chat at your coffee-house."

"I'd like that," Miki said. "Well, I'd better go home before I become a violent crime statistic. See ya later. And don't worry about Miku too much, OK?"

Luka raised an eyebrow. "What do you mean?"

"The sport of modern cheerleading is extremely dangerous," Miki said as she walked away. "These days, cheerleaders have almost as many serious injuries as the teams they're cheering. But the chances are still relatively small that Miku will suffer irreversible brain damage or spinal cord injury and become a quadriplegic vegetable for the rest of her life."

Luka watched Miki walk away with a blank stare. And then, she turned back to the field, just in time to see Miku practice a simple tumbling routine.

Luka's eyes widened in fear. She held both hands over her mouth and whimpered.

—

Miku's rehearsal was finally over. She had just got a towel from her duffel-bag when she felt a gentle embrace from behind. "Wha— oh, Luka! You scared me!... Hey, are you OK?"

An emotional Luka desperately clutched at Miku. "I am so relieved that you are unharmed!" she whispered tearfully.

"Um... thanks?" Miku nervously patted Luka's hand. "Hey, c'mon! Not in front of the girls! This is kind of embarrassing."

As Miku's cheerleading team-mates noticed the older woman hugging her, they began to whistle and whoop happily. Miku soon found herself and Luka at the center of attention.

Miku gave her team-mates a smile and a thumbs-up. _On the other hand_ , Miku thought, _this Public Display of Affection should be really good for my gay cred._

—

"I am sorry about that scene," said Luka, as she and Miku left the soccer field. "I happened to talk with Miki from the coffee-house, and—"

Miku held up a hand. "Say no more. I understand completely now."

"Do you mind wearing your cheerleading uniform on our date?" Luka asked. "I certainly would not complain. It suits you, Miku."

"Um, yeah. About that." Miku rubbed her neck in embarrassment. "Sorry, but I already ate dinner with the girls. And I'm sorry rehearsal ran so long, but it's really late now, and I'm kinda tired..."

Luka nodded patiently, but she also braced herself for the disappointment of a canceled date.

"...and I was wondering if it wouldn't be too weird if we just, um, went back to my room now." Miku asked with a shy smile.

Luka felt her spirits rise again. "I do not know if that would be weird or not," she said softly, "but I would not mind it at all."

Miku reached out, took Luka's hand and held it tightly. And then, she and Luka began to walk back to her residence hall.

—

As soon as they had reached Miku's room, Miku had excused herself and ducked down the hall for a quick shower after several hours of hard exercise. Luka sat on Miku's lower bunk-bed, legs crossed and eyes closed, half-way between deep thought and meditation.

Miku knocked softly at the door to alert Luka, and then came in, wearing a soft fuzzy teal bath robe. "Sorry for the wait," she said. "You know, given what we're about to do, you should have taken a shower with me."

"I would not want to risk being caught with you in the shower," Luka said. "I do not think I am supposed even to be here. But perhaps we could wait for a warm summer night's rainfall, drive out into the countryside, take off our clothes and dance together in the rain."

Miku felt herself go weak in the knees. "You've already seduced me, you know," she said. "You don't have to be so effortlessly romantic."

"I cannot help it when I am with you." Luka took in the sight of the freshly showered Miku. "This is the first time I have seen you with your hair down. It makes you look more mature."

Miku instinctively pulled a hand through her hair. "Yeah... I've worn my hair in twin-tails my whole life, but I don't know how much longer I can keep them. Not many college girls still have twin-tails."

"Perhaps you could wear the tails lower," Luka said, reaching out to stroke Miku's hair as well. "Any hairstyle is alright with me... but I might ask that you continue to wear your hair long."

"No problem," Miku said. "I have thought about having it bobbed to match Gumi for fun, but I couldn't bring myself to have it cut that short."

"By the way, where is Gumi?" asked Luka. "I hope that we have not evicted her from her own room."

"She took a pillow to the library," Miku said. "She said she could stay in a study room and let herself be locked in overnight. They don't usually allow things like that, but Gumi has already spent so much time at the library that she has contacts and friends in high places."

"How very thoughtful of her," a touched Luka said. "I suspect she is the one who put black paper over the window as well, because of my 'skin condition', as she took it."

"Don't give her too much credit," Miku said with a grin. "Ever since I asked for some privacy tonight, all I've heard is, 'is there anything else I can do to help you get laid?'"

"Then I must not disappoint her," Luka said. She stood up and embraced Miku. "Pardon my awkwardness. It has been some time since I have done this, and I am rather nervous myself."

"Since you mentioned it," Miku asked, "how long has it been?"

"Eighty-seven years," Luka said, "five months and twenty-three days."

Miku giggled. "But who's counting? Sorry, Luka. That's one heck of a 'dry spell'."

"May I ask the same question of you?"

Miku grimaced. "Ah. Well. To be honest? Unless you count that thing we did in the culvert? This is my first time past 'second base'."

A suddenly tearful Luka hugged Miku tightly again. "Oh, Miku!" she cried.

"Hey, calm down!" Miku said modestly. "You shouldn't be surprised. I told you when we first met that I don't do one-night stands."

"But you have always been so relaxed and confident with me," Luka said.

"I guess I'm a quick learner... so, um, how does this work with a vampire? Do you usually feed before or after all the other stuff?"

"Oh dear," Luka said, "Perhaps I should have discussed this with you before. I have never fed and made love at the same time. I fed deeply last night so that I could safely skip tonight."

"Oh," said Miku. "Well, that might be for the best. I don't know if I could handle this and that in one night."

"There are many other things that we can do instead." Luka lay back on Miku's bunk bed, with her arms above her head, and looked up at Miku expectantly.

"Wait a minute," Miku said. "Do you want ME to take the lead? I thought the older woman usually led the virgin down the wanton path of desire."

"You initiated this relationship," Luka said, "and so I thought that you would like to consummate it. And also? I must admit that I 'like it' when you make the choices and take control."

"Seriously?" Miku said. "You're not just joking? Or trying to build up my self-esteem? Because I'm just as happy to give as to receive."

"For tonight, and perhaps, many more nights... I am yours, body and soul. Do what you like."

Miku theatrically cracked her knuckles, and then slowly climbed on top of Luka. "In that case, I know a certain vampire who's already had her way with me three times. Let's see if I can even the score tonight."

Luka's eyes widened. "Three times in one night?" she asked nervously. "You need not be that generous. And this is not a game in which we keep score, Miku. You do not owe me anyEEEEE HEE HEE!"

"Oh, I insist," Miku said, as she caressed and undressed her lover. "Miku Hatsune repays her debts... with interest."


	7. Fan Service Episode

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Published 11-May-2013; humor/romance; about 2100 words.
> 
> This contains EXTREMELY gratuitous nudity, mild adult language, and adult humor. Reader discretion is advised.

Late the next morning, Gumi clumsily opened the door to her residence-hall room while juggling her backpack, her pillow, and a freshly baked pizza in a warm box.

She was also singing to herself, improvising lyrics to a lunch-meat commercial jingle from before she was born. "My pizza has a first name, it's P-I-Z-Z-A... My pizza has no second name, 'cause that would just be weird... WHOAH!"

Miku was sitting up in her bunk bed, her back against the wall, with a sleeping Luka snuggled up on her lap. Both women were wrapped in bedsheets from the waist down, but both were nude from the waist up. Luka was lying face down, and Miku was contentedly stroking Luka's hair.

Miku looked up. "Oh, hey, Gumi. C'mon in. It's OK— we're just cuddling."

"Are you sure?" Gumi asked nervously. "Sorry, I thought you'd be up by now. It's almost eleven o'clock."

"Oh, come on," Miku said. "It's nothing you haven't seen before. But be quiet, OK? Luka is still asleep."

"Um, OK." Gumi set her backpack down by the door, carefully placed her pillow up on her own bed, and sat at her desk, next to Miku.

"Wow, she's out like a light," Gumi said. "I guess she usually sleeps during the day, huh? What with her, um, skin condition, and all."

"Yeah, I think so," Miku said with a smug grin. "But she's also exhausted from last night. I wore her out."

"Ruh- really?" Gumi asked, even more nervously.

"Yup," Miku said proudly. "As it turns out, this innocent little cheerleader is actually a RELENTLESS SEX MACHINE."

Gumi obviously didn't know how to take this news. "...oh. Ha ha. Oh wow. That's, um... * _giggle_ * * _snort_ *... wow."

"Fear not, my faithful sidekick," Miku said. "I shall strive to use my new-found powers for good, and not for evil."

Gumi glanced down at Luka again. "Her name is Luka? This is the first time I've really seen her, and now I'm seeing ALL of her. I hope she's an exhibitionist like you."

"Go ahead and take a closer look," Miku said. "She's never been shy around me, and I haven't had a chance to show her off to you."

"She's a pinkette, huh?... Oh Miku, she's gorgeous. I was afraid her skin would be broken or scarred, but she's just perfectly pale, like a living china doll. You've got something really special there."

Miku suddenly felt a typical Miku-esque twinge of jealousy. "Hey! This is MY mysterious older woman! Get yer own, bitch."

Gumi giggled and held up her open hands. "Relax, Miku. I wouldn't dream of trying to take her from you, even if I swung that way. You two look like you were made for each other."

"Yeah..." Miku looked down, and stroked Luka's hair again. "I think she's the one for me, Gumi. This is all happening crazy fast, but I think I love her."

Gumi gasped. "Miku! Be careful! She is an older woman, you know! You haven't said that to her, have you?"

"She has now," Luka said, awakening at an opportune moment and looking up at Miku with a sweet smile.

"AAUGH!" said Miku. "No fair! That's cheating! Take-back! Rewind! Strike that last remark from the record!"

"Please do not be embarrassed." Luka raised her arm to caress Miku's cheek. "As you say, this has happened 'crazy fast', and I have tried to take it more slowly. But since we are both happy to be together, perhaps it does not matter. I have just awoken, but I feel as if I am still in a dream. And now that I know how you feel?...

"Miku... I love you too."

Miku held a hand over Luka's hand and pressed it against her cheek. She looked down at Luka with an unusually vulnerable expression, as though she were about to cry.

But Gumi beat her to it. Miku looked up, and Luka turned back, to see Gumi rubbing at her eyes. "Sorry again," Gumi said as she sniffled. "That scene should have been private... but I'm so happy that I got to see... my best friend... find love..."

Not knowing what else to do with herself, Gumi picked up her pizza box, opened it and held it out. "Pizza? It has sausage, green peppers, and tears of joy on it."

"Thanks, Gumi-bear. I'm starving." Miku went for the largest slice. "And yeah, I'm glad you were here for that, and for us, too."

Gumi lowered the box towards Luka. "Help yourself, Luka."

Instead of accepting or refusing the pizza, Luka looked back up at Miku with concern. "You have told her my name?" she asked.

Miku froze in mid-bite, and then lowered her pizza and face-palmed with her free hand. "Aw, nuts. I'm sorry. I was careless."

Luka was thoughtful for a minute, but then she relaxed. "What is done is done. And perhaps that does not matter either."

"Do you want to keep your relationship with Miku a secret?" Gumi asked. "I could understand that, Luka. My lips are sealed."

"Thank you, Gumi. I would appreciate that." Luka reached out and held Gumi's hand. "I hope I do not seem to be aloof, but I must be careful, more for Miku's sake than my own. Regardless, I hope that we can be friends as well. And I know that Miku is dear to you, and so you must tell me if you ever feel that I am taking Miku away from you."

Gumi went all misty-eyed again. "You're kind AND beautiful? Oh, Miku! I think you found an angel!"

"That is very kind of you to say," Luka said softly. "But I am no angel. Quite the opposite, in fact."

"You're aces in my book. Both of you are." Gumi pulled away from Luka and stood up. "But since I've delivered the pizza and witnessed your relationship milestone, I probably should get back to the library and give you some more private time—"

"Aw, don't go, Gumi-bear," said Miku through a mouthful of food. "Hang with us for awhile."

Gumi frowned. "...really? Are you sure?"

"I would also enjoy your company," Luka said.

"Well, OK. Thanks." Gumi sat back down. "But do you two think you could get dressed now? I mean, I'm not seriously uncomfortable, but this is still kinda weird, talking to both of you like this."

"I can't speak for Luka," said Miku, "but I don't have to be at the football game for a few more hours, and I was hoping that I could chill with my bestie AND have naked cuddles with my new girlfriend until then."

Luka snuggled up in Miku's lap again. "I am happy to be here as I am," she said, "and even more so if it pleases you."

Gumi glared at Luka and Miku with sudden Nerd Rage. "...what?" Miku asked with a nervous smile.

"Fine," Gumi said. "If that's the way you want to be? Three can play at that game." She pulled up her shirt.

"Um, Gumi?" asked Luka. "What are you doing?"

"Duh!" said Gumi. "I'm taking off my clothes!"

"What my intelligent but confused girlfriend meant to ask is, why are you taking off your clothes?" Miku said. "Luka and I might be rushing into this relationship, but it's still too early for our inevitable threesome with you."

Gumi unfastened her shorts and slid them to the floor. "If you two are gonna be all naked and weird at me," she explained, "then the least I can do is to be all naked and weird back at you!"

"That is an unusual response to an unusual situation," Luka thought out loud.

"But Gumi, that isn't going to work," Miku said gently. "Your being naked isn't weird at all for us. Luka and I like naked women."

"I know that!" an exasperated Gumi said, as she unhooked her bra. "But work with me here! Pretend I'm a guy, or something."

"I'm afraid I can't do that," a very happy Miku said, "because BOOBS."

Luka's eyes widened slightly. "Oh my! Gumi, you have a lovely figure."

Miku suddenly felt another Miku-esque twinge of jealousy. "Hey! That's MY bodacious nerdy roommate! Get yer own, bitch."

Luka continued her thought undeterred. "You should wear more flattering clothing, Gumi. Not every girl needs to be a cheerleader, but still, you should enjoy your youth and be proud of your beauty."

"Thanks, Luka," said a now naked Gumi, "but I'd really rather not. Chemical engineering is a male-dominated field of study, and everybody stares at my chest most of the time already. I'd like for my teachers and classmates to at least occasionally make eye contact."

She looked down at herself. "And these 'things' are nothing but trouble anyway. Every time I turn around, they're knocking over test tubes and ruining lab work. I can't even read books around them."

"Oh, it's so HARD to be well-endowed and nerdy!" Miku said with absolutely no sympathy at all. "You know, if you hate those 'things' that much, you could give them to me."

"Don't make me laugh," Gumi said with an unusually cruel smirk. "If you tried to hold up these puppies on that skinny little body of yours, you'd snap in half like a dry twig."

"Please do not be jealous of your friend, Miku." Luka reached up and brushed Miku's chest lightly with the back of her fingers. "Both of you are beautiful, and I am happy with you as you are."

Miku giggled. "Luka, please! Not in front of the children! And I don't want any sympathy from you while we're talking about figures. You're no slouch in that department yourself."

"I can't believe I'm about to ask this," Gumi said, "but Luka? Can I see your?... Can I see yours?"

"That seems only fair." Since Luka was still lying face-down in bed, she turned to face Gumi fully.

"...you win," Gumi said in a small scared voice.

"She's a winner, alright," Miku said proudly. "I never realized that sitting around naked could be this much fun. What say we declare Saturdays in this room clothing-optional?"

"I don't know about that," Gumi said, "but the occasional private toga party might be nice while it's still so hot."

"Speaking of parties," Miku said, "we should play some music while 'quiet hours' are lifted for the weekend. Turn on the radio, Gumi."

"Good idea," Gumi said. She reached back and switched on a radio on Miku's desk. But unfortunately for her, Miku had tuned the radio to the local top-40 station.

"Oh, YUCK!" said Gumi. "Dude! Your tunes suck!"

"Not every song has to be a symphony, you big nerd," Miku said. "And besides, I like this song. It's really catchy." She closed her eyes and began to sing along with the song on the radio.

Three minutes later, the song faded out, and Miku realized that both Gumi and Luka were blankly staring at her with their mouths hanging open. "It's not THAT catchy," Miku said nervously.

Gumi spoke without moving, as if she were hypnotized. "You know that thing that you do to people when you sing? You're doing it again."

"Is she always this captivating when she sings?" Luka asked, also finding herself unable to look away.

"Even more so lately," Gumi said. "We can't even go to karaoke anymore. The last time Miku sang in public, several people were so taken with her voice, they passed out because they forgot to keep breathing."

"Now I'm beginning to regret my vow not to use my newly-discovered sex machine powers for evil," Miku said sadly. "I have two entranced and naked women, and I already love them and they already love me, but I can't make them my playthings because of my darn moral rectitude."

"I would not mind," Luka said sincerely. "I have let you make all the choices in this relationship, and I have yet to regret it. Not to mention that, after last night's performance, I was already considering the benefits of becoming your eternal love slave."

Miku gulped. "I appreciate the thought, Luka, but that's exactly what I'm trying to avoid—"

Gumi shook off her entrancement and piled on. "Yeah, and if Luka is OK with it, my offer still stands. I know I'm only your straight friend, but if it's with you, I'm up for anything. Just say the word, and I'll be all over you like cheese on a pizza."

"That kind of talk is NOT HELPFUL right now!" Miku clutched at her poor head. "MUST— RESIST— TEMPTATION!"

Gumi taunted Miku in a super-villain's deep voice. "Come to the Dark Side, Miku! We have pizza and boobs!"

"NOOOO!" Miku cried out theatrically. She slumped over with her eyes crossed and her tongue hanging out.

And then, Miku, Luka and Gumi all burst out laughing together.


	8. The Iceman Cometh 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Published 17-May-2013; action/horror; about 2000 words.
> 
> This takes place three or four weeks after the previous chapter.
> 
> I first meant to write Kaito as the usual loveable bumbling idiot of Vocaloid fandom, but he quickly turned into a (literally) cold-blooded killer in this AU, and so I had to switch genres to action-horror for the next three chapters.
> 
> We'll return to the previously scheduled yuri shenanigans in chapter 11. That chapter ends with a tickle fight.
> 
> This contains violence and adult themes. Reader discretion is advised.

Miku had taken a detour into the campus town after her last class of the afternoon for a pick-me-up from Miki's coffee-house.

"Hot chocolate to go, please," Miku said to Miki. "Can you believe this weather, Miki? It was so hot the day before yesterday, and now— BRRRR! Just listen to that wind! And we could even get some snow tonight!..."

Miki served Miku's hot chocolate silently. "Are you OK?" Miku asked. "You're not acting like your usual gleefully gloomy self."

"I hate storms," Miki said miserably. "And this is a really bad storm."

"Yeah, I know," Miku said sympathetically. "But it's only a little rain—"

"No, Miku," said Miki. "This is a BAD storm. Bad things happen in this kind of storm. Really bad things."

Miku shivered again, and then giggled nervously. "Gosh, Miki! What are you saying? You're really scaring me! I mean, even more than usual."

Miki suddenly reached out and rested a hand on Miku's arm. "Hey, Miku? I know we don't really know each other that well, but... well... just be careful, OK?"

"Don't worry, hon," Miku said with a warm smile. "I'll be fine. I'm heading straight back to the residence hall. You stay warm and dry too, Miki."

Miki gave Miku a thin smile in return. "Thanks, Miku."

Miku turned and left with a wave. "See you again this Friday."

A still and silent Miki watched her leave. _I hope so, Miku_ , she thought to herself. _I hope I see you again._

—

The cold air over the college campus was heavy with a fine mist. Several people remarked that it seemed as if the overcast sky had sunk nearly to the ground. The mist was not as heavy as rain, but the few pedestrians out on the normally busy campus soon found themselves soaked.

And the wind howled. Waves of air were visible in the still-green grass, and smaller tree branches whipped from side to side. Bits of paper and cardboard appeared from nowhere, briefly danced in the wind, and disappeared into nowhere again. The heavy old campus buildings remained undamaged, but they rattled and groaned.

Miku's residence hall was not as tall as the newer residence towers, but it seemed to bear the brunt of the winds. Had anyone been standing on the roof of the residence hall, they might have had difficulty standing upright. But no one was foolish enough to stand on the roof in the storm.

Until... someone WAS standing on the roof.

A young man with a slight build and cold blue hair rapidly coalesced from the mist. He wore a long white coat with strange markings under a light thin blue scarf. His coat and scarf whipped in the bitterly cold and mist-heavy wind, but he was unmoved. In fact, he seemed to be enjoying himself.

The man incongruously reached into his coat and pulled out a popsicle. He pulled off its wrapper, let the wrapper blow away in the wind, and licked silvery frost from the end of the popsicle.

"The iceman cometh," he said to the campus.

—

Luka's eyes snapped open. She had been drifting in and out of uneasy sleep all afternoon, but she was very suddenly wide awake. She pulled on her mask and sunglasses, pulled her hood tight and knotted its draw-strings, and pulled on her gloves, in seconds flat.

She burst from the storage room where she had been hiding, and ran along an empty hall for the nearest exit, her feet barely touching the floor more quickly than any human eye could see. She slammed open the door, taking no notice of the emergency alarm that she had set off, or the wind that briefly pushed back against the door. She paused only long enough to look to the sky.

And then, Luka jumped.

Luka could not fly. But she could jump with great speed and strength, such that she might have seemed to fly for short distances. She could even leap over tall buildings with a single bound.

After six or seven hops, Luka landed on the roof of Miku's residence hall. She steadied herself after landing, and then she looked up and faced down the man in the white coat and blue scarf.

"You are far from your home, elemental," she said. "Why are you here?"

"Who can tell?" the man said in a sing-song voice. "Perhaps, somewhere in this small world, a butterfly flapped its wings..."

The man waved his free hand, and a few small flat glittering shards of ice also coalesced from the mist. They seemed to flutter around him.

"...and the flapping of its wings brought chaos into the world, and the chaos brought me here." He vaporised the shards with another wave.

Luka gritted her masked teeth. "Go home, elemental," she said. "There is no reason for you to come here, or to bring your madness here."

"Oh?" the man said. He paused for another lick. "Why should YOU care? Perhaps you fancy yourself the guardian of this pathetic human city?"

"It is merely... my feeding ground." Luka said. "I merely wish to preserve my feeding ground. I would prefer that you left my prey undamaged."

The man tut-tut'ed condescendingly. "Vampires are such terrible liars. I've been 'watching' you for a day or two, ever since I happened to sense you here. I've seen you and your pet human."

Luka remained silent, but she quailed inside. _Oh no,_ Luka thought. _Oh no._

"And I believe she lives in the structure beneath our feet... why, here comes your pet human now. Wouldn't it be simply lovely if she joined us?"

"NO!" Luka shouted into the wind.

—

Miku was stomping along a sidewalk and struggling into the wind, several meters from the residence hall doors, when the mist-heavy wind threw her high into the air like a small green leaf.

Miku screamed.

—

Gumi stood at the window of her room, gazing through a corner of the window where she had temporarily pulled back the black paper. She stared out into the swirling gray mist of the storm.

 _Come on, Miku_ , she thought. _It's dangerous out there. Hurry up and come back. Please._

A green shape blew past the window. Gumi gasped. _Was that... Miku?_ she thought.

_...no, that would be crazy! It must have been a branch, or a piece of cardboard, or... or..._

_Oh, come ON, Miku! Where ARE you?..._

—

An empty cappucchino cup slipped and fell from Miki's hands, and shattered on the clean tile floor behind the coffee-house counter.

Miki went down on her knees to pick up the pieces. She picked up the largest piece, still with the handle, but paused and studied it.

The coffee-house cups would have seemed identical to most people. But with her photographic memory, Miki recognized the minor imperfections in its surface, and recalled when she had last seen it.

 _This was Miku's cup,_ Miki thought. _This was the cup Miku used, the last time she had her special cappuccino... her favorite drink._

Miki set down the broken handle, bowed her head, clasped her hands and prayed.

—

Miku fell on the roof none too gently, closer to the man than to Luka. She struggled to her hands and knees, shaking with fear like a leaf.

"LET! HER! GO!" Luka snarled.

The man casually took a large bite from his popsicle. "Make me," he said.

Throwing caution to the wind, Luka charged at the man... and found herself thrown into the mist, much the same as Miku, but much higher.

Luka twisted to and fro, trying to right herself. A fall from such great heights would badly injure even a mature and strong vampire, if Luka could not land on her feet. But she had no purchase to right herself. She was trapped in the mist.

The man's voice cut through the wind, and Luka could hear him as if she were still on the roof. "Shall I impale you on one of those poles with the wires? I could drive a stake ten meters tall through your chest... No, that would be too quick."

Luka was suddenly borne even higher. The clouds began to break up around her. "Oh, how about this?" the man said. "I could strip away your clothes, encase your body in clear ice, and bear you up to burn away in the light of the sun. Just imagine how your death throes would be prolonged... how you would burn and freeze simultaneously, utterly paralyzed in unimaginable agony, until your flesh finally turned to charcoal."

For the first time in a very long time, Luka knew mindless fear. She began to writhe in a blind panic.

"Oh, this is boring," the man said. A moment later, Luka found herself back on the roof, on her hands and knees and trembling in front of the man, much the same again as Miku.

"The lowest chamber of this structure is below ground level," the man said, referring to the basement of Miku's residence hall. "A vampire is somewhat stronger if it is away from the sun, yes? 

"If you can think of a more entertaining way to DIE, come to this chamber and show me, and perhaps I shall let your pet human live, albeit not unharmed. But if you cannot? I shall freeze her body slowly from the inside out, and then I shall come for you, and then I will destroy this city. 

"I shall give you a few minutes to plan your own death, vampire. And I expect to be entertained. Do NOT disappoint me." The man and Miku disappeared in a burst of wind and a swirl of gray mist.

Luka kneeled, cast aside her sunglasses, held her gloved hands over her eyes, and wept tears of humiliation and impotent rage.

—

Miku was cold.

She slowly opened her eyes. Her eyelids felt like lead. She trembled only slightly, too cold to shiver properly. She had to struggle just to draw breath. She was standing, but she could not move her limbs. She gradually realized that she was frozen in place with her back against a bare cinder-block wall.

Miku worked her mouth a few times before she managed to speak. "Where?..." she croaked. She was in a well-lit room, but her vision was blurred.

The elemental stood nearby, idly forming a large abstract ice sculpture. Upon hearing Miku's voice, he crushed it with a gesture, and walked up to Miku. "You are still alive?" he asked in his sing-song voice. "Not that it matters. Not that you matter. But you really should have died by now, you silly girl."

And then, the elemental raised an eyebrow, and leaned in closer. He seemed to concentrate on Miku's face, as if he could see something Miku could not. 

"...you are not human?" he said in surprise. "I see! This is why you still live! And this must be why you are the vampire's pet. But what ARE you, girl?"

"What?..." Miku gasped. She couldn't believe her ears. Was this the rambling of a madman, or had she gone crazy herself? Or was she really?...

"You do not know?" the elemental said. "Perhaps your true nature has been sealed, or perhaps it simply has not yet manifested. You are still young... Oh well. Too late. I guess you'll never know now."

Miku wanted to cry, but tears would not come. "Why?..." she whispered.

"Why?" the elemental asked with a mocking smile. "Why does an iceberg crush a ship? Why does a nor'easter wash a village into the sea? Why does a glacier slowly but surely reduce a mountain to gravel?..." 

"This is what I am, girl. This is what I do. And this is what I want to do. You, and your boring vampire mistress, and your pathetic human friends, all want to live, and to build... But I want to destroy everything you have built, and then I want you to DIE."

Miku had no strength left, and on hearing these words, she lost all hope. Her eyes rolled back, and she slumped down from the wall.

"You could say," the elemental said to himself, "that some men just want to watch the world freeze."


	9. The Iceman Cometh 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Published 17-May-2013; action/horror; about 2000 words.
> 
> This contains violence and adult themes. Reader discretion is advised.

Luka burst into Miku and Gumi's residence-hall room, not bothering to knock. Gumi, seated at her desk, looked up with a start.

"We need to talk," Luka said, as she tossed her mask and sunglasses aside.

"Miku's in trouble, isn't she?" Gumi asked.

"Yes—"

"And this crazy weather— this is more that just a freak storm, isn't it?"

"Yes—"

"And this has something to do with your being a vampire, doesn't it?"

Luka blinked. "...ah. Correction: We need to talk, but about fewer things than I first expected."

—

Luka sat at Miku's desk, next to Gumi, and tried to explain what had happened in human terms.

"It is an arctic water elemental," Luka said, "something like a winter storm personified. It is much further south than it should be, and it is greatly weakened, but it is still a fearsome thing."

"Why it is here?" Gumi asked. "It was so hot just a few days ago."

"I do not know much about these things," Luka said, "only what my own psychic abilities tell me. But either it is a cruel and fickle thing by nature, or else it has gone mad. And I fear that my presence has attracted it to this city."

"I'm sure it isn't your fault," Gumi said quickly. "And you must be really strong. You can take care of it, right?"

Luka's face fell. She looked away from Gumi. "Gumi... I have already tried to fight it, in a fit of rage. And as you young humans might say, it kicked my ass."

"What?" Gumi said in alarm. "But— I don't know about real vampires, but in the folklore I've read, they're the strongest of all known supernatural creatures!"

"Perhaps I am stronger than most," Luka said softly, "but this is an elemental. No single vampire could hope to defeat a thing with the strength of a hurricane."

"Then... what are we going to do?"

"In a few minutes," Luka said even more softly, "I must face the elemental again, because it still holds Miku hostage. And unless I am very lucky, I shall be destroyed."

Gumi began to cry. "NO! You CAN'T! There has to be SOMETHING we can do!"

"I have some small hope," Luka said. "Again, this elemental is much weaker than if it were in its own environment. And madmen are extremely dangerous, but they are also careless, and they make careless mistakes. And... I do have a plan. However, you should not expect to see me again—"

Luka was cut off by a sudden embrace from Gumi. "Oh, Gumi!..." said Luka.

"How can you be so calm?" Gumi sobbed. "How can you just sit there and say you're going to die?"

Luka pushed Gumi back and held her by the shoulders. "Dear Gumi. What else can I do? I cannot flee. The elemental would kill Miku and pursue me anyway. And even if I did escape? I could not live as a coward for all eternity, knowing that I had abandoned Miku— my love— to die alone.

"My choice is clear— or rather, I have no choice. I must go and face my destiny, and do my best. And if my best is not good enough, why, I have already lived far longer than most, and I am grateful that I did live long enough to know Miku. And you."

"I wish I'd told you sooner that I figured out you were a vampire," Gumi sniffed. "But you and Miku were so happy. I didn't want to risk that."

"I rather wish you had, myself," Luka said, standing up. "But that is hindsight, and our time is now at an end."

Gumi also stood up. "...what are you doing?" Luka asked quietly.

"I'm co- coming with you," Gumi stammered.

"Oh NO you are NOT!" Luka said sternly. "You must flee this building! And to be safe, you should leave this city!"

Gumi rubbed her eyes, and then looked Luka in the face. "Luka?... I know I'm only a human girl, and a cry-baby at that. But all that stuff you just said about running away goes double for me. I've known Miku a lot longer than you, and I love her too. If there's a chance that I can do anything at all, then I can't abandon her either."

Luka did not immediately answer. But she softly growled, and Gumi imagined that her eyes were glowing red. Gumi took a step back and held up her open hands. "Luka! Please!"

And then, Luka held her face in her hands. "Ngh... forgive me, Gumi. You are right. And you are an adult, and I have no right to order you about like a child. You must choose your own path.

"But let me make this perfectly clear. I do not expect to be able to save myself, let alone protect you. If you follow me, you will quite possibly die at the hands of a monster. And it might not be a quick and painless death. Do you understand, Gumi?"

Gumi began to cry again. "Yuh— yes," she stammered. "Oh!... Why can't I be brave like you?"

Luka reached out and embraced Gumi in return. "You are," Luka said softly. "Only a brave soul would have chosen this path, Gumi. I am honored to face my destiny with you."

Gumi and Luka held each other for a moment, taking what comfort they could from each other.

Luka stood back and gave Gumi her best smile. "Dear Gumi... my friend. Hold your head high, keep love in your heart, and know that what you do is right. Ready?"

Not trusting herself to speak, Gumi nodded quickly.

"Then get your heaviest winter coat, and follow me."

—

Luka and Gumi raced down through the nearest stairwell, all the way down to the bottom landing. They ran up to a closed basement door.

Gumi could already feel the intense cold behind the door. "Should we try to sneak up on the bad guy?" she asked Luka.

Instead of answering, Luka briefly strained against the closed door, and then tore it open, destroying part of the doorframe in the process.

"Oh," said Gumi. "I guess not."

"It will know that I am coming," Luka said as she entered the basement, "as surely as I knew when it first arrived. Prepare yourself, Gumi."

Gumi followed Luka into the relatively small basement, expecting to find some unimaginable horror. Much to her surprise, she saw only a rather thin young man in a white coat and blue scarf. Gumi very briefly thought that he was actually quite handsome. But when he looked at her and Luka, Gumi saw only coldness in his eyes.

And then, Gumi saw Miku frozen to the wall behind the man. To her credit, Gumi did not cry out. But tears came quickly.

"I see you have acquired another pet human," the elemental said to Luka. "Is she here to help you kill yourself for me?"

Luka did not answer his taunt directly. "I am here, elemental. If your words have any honor, let the other girl go now."

"Oh, very well," the man said. "I was hoping the silly girl would do me the simple courtesy of dying by herself, but she still lives. And I must honor my words, much the same as you."

He gestured towards Miku, and the ice holding her shattered into dust. Miku slumped to the cold concrete basement floor.

Gumi took a step towards Miku, but paused and glanced at Luka. She smiled and nodded at Gumi. "Yes. Please take Miku to a place of safety. Thank you, Gumi."

Trying not to think of those words as the last that Luka would say to her, Gumi ran around the man and kneeled at Miku's side.

_Oh no_ , Gumi thought, as she struggled with Miku's body. _Oh no. Her face is pale. Oh no. She's covered in cuts and bruises. Oh no..._

Luka and the elemental stared at each other while Gumi pulled Miku away as quickly but carefully as she could. She dragged Miku backwards through the open basement door and out of sight.

"Well?" the man said to Luka. "I am waiting."

Luka steeled herself. _I am grateful that Gumi is no longer here_ , she thought. _I am grateful that Gumi will not see this._

"...yes," Luka said to the man, taking a first step towards him. "We are not human, nor are we of the same kind. But you are a man, and I am a woman. And while I cannot offer you a challenge in battle, I can offer you... other things."

Luka was humiliated beyond words. But this was her plan, and she had resigned herself to this. She took another step towards the man, and opened the front of her black clothing, exposing much of her chest.

"I have been told that I am very beautiful," Luka said, walking within arm's length of the man. The cold was so intense around his body that even she could feel it now. "Instead of killing me, will you not sample my beauty for yourself?"

"...interesting!" the man said. "I can feel your fear and humiliation. Yes, this will do quite nicely. You may pleasure me, vampire. If you please me sufficiently, I shall grant you a quick death after it is done."

Luka took one last step forward and embraced the man. She felt his chill embrace of death... and smiled. _Got you_ , she thought to herself. She pushed his scarf aside, bared her fangs and plunged them into his neck.

The man flinched. "What?... You actually seek to feed on me? You fool. There is nothing but ice water in my veins...

"Wait. What is this pleasurable feeling? Is this what all your victims feel?... I see. Yes, this is even more interesting. You may continue."

Luka closed her eyes for what she believed to be the last time. And then, she began to do something that she had never done before.

The man quickly realized that Luka had tricked him, after all. "What is this strange warmth that I feel?... You are not seeking to feed on me! You are vomiting your energies into my body instead! Are you trying to take your own life, you beautiful fool? What other possible reason could you have to..."

And then, the man happened to look at his own hand. He saw that the icy flesh of the tips of his fingers had already melted away. His fingers were melting so quickly that he could watch them shrink.

And for the first time in his eons of existence, the elemental felt fear. But instead of pushing Luka away, or struggling at all... he laughed.

"Oh, this is good! This is very good!" he cried. "You have actually inflicted damage on my corporeal form! You may continue, vampire. Let us see how much damage you can do to me before you die!"

Luka clutched at the man desperately as she continued her reverse feeding. She already felt her strength fading.

"And even if you should succeed in melting this body entirely?" the man said. "The floor of this chamber has a drainage system. The water of my corporeal form will flow back into the earth, where I can draw upon the elemental energies of this world and be reborn. It will take many years, but I shall be reborn as surely as winter follows summer. And you will be dead."

_Damn_ , Luka thought. _So I bought only a few years of peace with my life. But it should be at least a human lifetime. Miku... and Gumi... will not live long enough to see this monster again. For that... for my love... and for my friend... I am grateful._

Luka had lost all feeling in her face and arms. She saw a dull red behind her closed eyes, and she heard a roaring in her ears. She knew that she was truly dying now... and worse, that she was also pushing herself down into bloodlust.

But, thinking of nothing else but their duel to the death, neither Luka nor the elemental realized that Gumi had returned.


	10. The Iceman Cometh 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Published 17-May-2013; action/horror/humor; about 2000 words.
> 
> Let's throw in a Kaiko cameo while we're at it.
> 
> This contains graphic violence and adult themes. Reader discretion is advised.

Gumi returned to the open basement doorway— and froze. She saw Luka and the man locked in an embrace that was obviously a duel to the death. 

And then, she heard the elemental speak. "Oh, this is good! This is very good!" he cried. "You have actually inflicted damage on my corporeal form! You may continue, vampire. Let us see how much damage you can do to me before you die!"

Assuming that Luka the vampire was feeding on the man, Gumi silently wished Luka strength and cheered her on. _Get him, Luka!_ she thought. _Get him good! Suck him dry!_

But Gumi's spirits fell when she heard the man speak again. "And even if you should succeed in melting this body entirely," the man said, "the floor of this chamber has a drainage system. The water of my corporeal form will flow back into the earth, where I can draw upon the elemental energies of this world and be reborn. It will take many years, but I shall be reborn as surely as winter follows summer. And you will be dead."

Gumi looked down at the finished concrete floor under Luka and the man, and saw a trickle of blue-tinted water begin to run from a puddle under his feet. She looked across the floor, and saw one of a few small open drains in the floor. The closest drain was several meters from the man, but the floor had been sloped so that it would drain properly, and Gumi realized that she had only a minute or so to act before the trickle of water reached the drain.

Gumi's brain automatically went into overdrive. _Think, Gumi!_ she thought. _You're supposed to be the smart one! It's all up to you now! THINK!_

Looking around the basement, she saw a handyman's workbench in one corner, with a small red canister at one end. _That's probably a dry-vac,_ Gumi thought, _but it isn't plugged in, and I don't have time to find an outlet or an extension cord. I have to cover that drain first!_

She ran up to the workbench and frantically rummaged through the equipment and supplies piled up on it. _No, this stuff won't help,_ she thought. _No... no... no... YES!_

Meanwhile, the elmental slumped to his knees— because his arms and legs had melted away to his elbows and knees. Luka fell to her knees with him, but somehow still held both of them upright.

"Die, vampire!" the man said eagerly. "I want to see you die! You have proved to be the most worthy adversary I have ever faced, and I shall relish your death as none before!"

Luka did not respond at all. She imagined that she could feel her own body shrivel and decay, and she found herself wishing for her own death as well. But she gathered what strength she had left, and poured it into her reverse feeding.

And then, the man suddenly heard strange ripping sounds. He looked up past Luka's shoulder to see the second human tear several strips of duct tape from a thick roll with her teeth, and then press them firmly over his escape route.

The man's eyes widened as the water from his body began to pool over the covered drain. He tried to shake Luka off, but he realized that he had waited too long. His limbs were nearly gone, along with most of his body's strength.

Gumi was far too terrified to gloat, or to give the man the finger. But she took a moment to glare at him silently. _Never underestimate an engineer with a roll of duct tape,_ she thought. And then she turned and ran back for the dry-vac.

The elemental realized that, not only had he been defeated by a vampire, but also that he was about to be captured by a pathetic human. As Gumi plugged in the dry-vac and carried it back towards him, he began to laugh hysterically.

And just as Gumi switched on the dry-vac, what was left of his body suddenly collapsed into a large puddle of bluish water. Gumi went to work, and quicky captured most of the elemental water before it even reached the taped drain.

Gumi switched off the dry-vac and sighed in relief. And then, she turned to Luka, who had fallen to one side when the elemental collapsed.

She kneeled in front of Luka, gently shook Luka's shoulders, and then began to lift her pink hair from where it had fallen over her face. "Luka! Are you OK? What should I— * _GASP_ *!"

"DON'T LOOK AT ME!" Luka shrieked. In an instant, she was up on her knees in front of Gumi, gripping Gumi's arms so tightly that it hurt. "CLOSE YOUR EYES! DON'T LOOK AT MY FACE!"

Her triumph over the elemental forgotten, Gumi silently trembled with fear. She had expected to see Luka's beautiful face, but instead, she had caught a glimpse of a decaying corpse.

"You STUPID GIRL!" Luka growled, also trembling with weakness and the doomed effort to control her bloodlust. "Why did you come back within my reach? I could have willed myself to die peacefully, and you could have lived! But now, I MUST take your blood! ALL OF IT!"

Gumi realized that neither she nor Luka could stop what was about to happen. Tears came to her eyes immediately, but she felt the unnatural calm of a pedestrian who has just seen an oncoming bus too late to escape from its path.

_So I'm going to die at the hands of a monster after all,_ Gumi thought. _It's just not the monster that I first expected._

"I understand," Gumi said quietly. "It's OK, Luka. It's not your fault. Go ahead and do what you have to do."

Luka's voice briefly took on a more human tone. "...forgive me, Gumi," she said. "This is going to hurt."

Tears ran down Gumi's face, but her last thoughts were not of herself. "Take care of Miku," she said.

Luka howled in anguish like an animal. She tore Gumi's coat and clothing open, and sank her teeth deep into Gumi's shoulder.

Gumi screamed.

—

Gumi slowly opened her eyes, and looked up at what appeared to be the bottom of her own bunk-bed. "Aw, man," she whined weakly. "I was hoping that, when I got to the after-life, I could get the top bunk again."

"You'll rest in my lower bunk and LIKE it, you big nerd," a familiar voice said. "And if I can't leave you alone for five minutes without you going and getting yourself killed, then I'm never taking my eyes off you again."

Gumi turned her head to see a weary and teary-eyed Miku sitting at her side. "Gosh, Miku," she said, "you look terrible. You look almost as bad as I feel."

"Here." Miku held a juice carton to Gumi's mouth. "Drink. Yeah, Luka patched us up with her vampire voodoo the best she could, but we're both gonna need some down time. Be careful with your shoulder. It's gonna be plenty sore."

"What happened?" Gumi asked between swallows.

"I woke up in the stairwell, limped back down into the basement, and found Luka mauling you," Miku said quietly. "She was already human again, but she was still crazed. I pulled her off you just in time, and then I let her take some more blood from me until she came to her senses. All three of us are 'running on empty', but we should be OK as long as we don't have to save the world again for a few days."

"How did you pull Luka away from me?" asked Gumi. "I didn't think there was any point in resisting her when she was... like that."

"I don't know," Miku said. "I'm not even supposed to be alive... and I might not even be human. Gumi, I'm really sorry I didn't tell you about Luka or this stuff before now, but I have a lot of questions too, and we're gonna have to hold a 'Team Meeting' later with Luka.

"But since you're awake now, someone wants to talk to you. And don't be scared, OK? She's friendly."

Miku stood up, and then a female clone of the elemental took her place. "Hello, Gumi," she said softly. "I wanted to thank you for capturing my brother, and to apologize for what he tried to do to your friends. He has always been poorly behaved, but this tantrum was inexcusable."

"Oh, wow," Gumi said. "Are you really his sister? You sure don't act like him."

"We are literally polar opposites, both in geography and in personality," the elemental said. "I am sorry that I could not be of help myself, but Antarctica is a VERY long ways from here, and I currently have little more strength than a human. And it was all over by the time I arrived.

"I also wanted to reassure you that he will not trouble you again." The elemental held up a small solid block of ice. "This is the water of his corporeal form that you captured. Perhaps a few thousand years spent as a brick in the wall of my igloo will improve his manners."

Gumi gulped. "I almost feel sorry for him... Almost."

"I hope for your sake that we do not meet again," the elemental said with a gentle smile. "But if you should ever find yourself at the South Pole, please stop by and say hello." The elemental leaned in and kissed Gumi's forehead, giving Gumi a cold but pleasant shiver.

The elemental stood up. "I shall take my leave now," she said to everybody in the room. "Thank you again, and please take care of yourselves."

After the elemental left, Gumi raised a hand to get Miku's attention. "Hey, Miku? Is Luka here? I wanna talk to her too."

Miku grimaced. "Alright. But be careful, Gumi. She's still really upset about what happened." She turned away from Gumi and spoke towards the far corner of the room. "Luka? You heard her. She wants to talk to you."

The room remained silent. "...Luka, PLEASE," Miku said in an unusually emotional voice. "You have to deal with this sooner or later."

And then, Luka slowly took Miku's chair. "Guh- Gumi..." she stammered as she began to cry.

"Hi, Luka," said Gumi with a smile. "I'm glad you're better now... Oh, please don't cry. That's my job."

Luka held Gumi's hand. "How can you even bear to look at me?" she sobbed. "After what you saw... after what I did to you..."

"Everybody has a bad side," Gumi said. "Even me. If you hang around with me long enough, you'll see my bad side too.

Gumi began to cry too. "But I hope that... after you see my bad side... you'll still want to see... my good side again."

Luka leaned down and pressed Gumi's hand to her wet cheek. "Oh... Gumi... my dear friend... " she gasped between sobs.

Miku stood by with a happy smile, and brushed tears from her own eyes. But she was startled by a frantic pounding at the door.

"Oh, good grief!" Miku grumbled, as she walked up to the door and opened it. "It's getting so you can't even have a highly-emotional reconciliation around here— OOF!"

Miku was glomped by a small rain-soaked mop of long wild red hair. "I'm sorry Miku I know this is really weird but ever since I saw you at the coffee-shop I couldn't stop thinking about you and I just knew something was wrong and I was so worried about you and I was worried about Ms. Miku's Friend too and I just had to come and see if both of you were alright and I'm so happy that you're alright WHAAAAAH!"

"Thanks, Miki," said Miku with a still-tearful smile. "But if you came here to cry, you're gonna have to take a number and wait in line."


	11. Ten Minute Penalty

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Published 21-May-2013; humor/romance; about 2100 words.
> 
> This takes place three or four days after the previous chapter.
> 
> This contains adult themes and gratuitous creepy adult humor. Reader discretion is advised.

Miku returned to her residence-hall room after her last class of the day. Gumi was studying at her desk, and she turned around as Miku opened the door. "Hey, Gumi-bear," Miku said quietly. "Is Luka still 'down in the dumps'?"

Gumi gestured to a pink and black lump of vampire, curled up in a fetal position and facing the wall, on Miku's lower bunk-bed. "She hasn't even moved since this morning," Gumi said. "I'd think she was dead, if I didn't know she was undead."

Miku sat on her bed, just behind Luka. "Oh, Luuu-kaah," she said in the most enticing voice she could muster. "I've got some nice fresh warm type oh-so-positive blood for you in my body. And it's chock-full of corpuscles. I just made it myself."

"...I am not hungry," Luka said in a small sad voice, without moving at all.

Miku glanced at Gumi, and then she tried something else. "Want me to strip you naked, tie you up, and pleasure you until you lose yourself in a multi-orgasmic delirium of kinky lesbian sex?"

"...maybe later," Luka said.

"Oh no," Gumi said. "She must be really depressed to have turned that down."

Miku sighed and rested a hand on Luka's shoulder. "Luka, please don't brood like this. We've got some important stuff to talk about, but we can't really do that until you pull out of this funk—"

"I KNOW!" Luka shouted angrily, loud enough to make both Miku and Gumi recoil.

And then, Luka spun around and hugged Miku's waist. "Oh, Miku. Gumi. I am sorry. It seems I can only hurt the ones who love me..."

"Stop that," Miku said firmly. "You know it isn't true—"

"But it is!" Luka said, as tears came again. "Within weeks of my finding you and Gumi, you nearly died at the hands of a monster, and Gumi's blood is on my own hands! I told you on our second date that I never wished to experience bloodlust again, but both Gumi and I have already experienced it again!

"I know what I should do. I should leave you for your own safety, and for my own peace of mind. And I should emulate the ancients, and leave this place, and find a refuge where I can be alone forever... But I CANNOT! After knowing your love, and your friendship, I cannot endure eternity alone!

"Oh, Miku. Gumi. I am so ashamed of myself. I know what I should do, but I am too weak to do it..."

Miku glanced at Gumi again with a worried expression, and then she reassured Luka the best she could. "First, don't you dare go anywhere, unless you really do want to hurt the ones who love you. That would hurt us more than anything else you might do.

"Second, you are NOT WEAK. You have been through three hundred years of hell, and this past week really wasn't so hot. But still, here you are. If I had been through a tenth of what you've been through, I would have already given myself 'The Big Sunburn'.

"And third, please remember that you don't have to deal with your problems by yourself. You're not alone anymore. You have friends now, and we want to help you. If there's anything that either of us can do, tell us."

Gumi was silently thoughtful as Miku spoke. After Miku finished, she seemed to come to a decision, and then she raised her hand for attention. "Actually, I already know what I can do for Luka."

Miku and Luka turned to look at her, expecting a revelation of wisdom beyond Gumi's years.

Gumi swallowed heavily and gathered up all of her nerve. "Luka, I want you to drink my blood again."

Miku and Luka continued to look at her, but now, as if she had lost her mind.

"Hear me out!" Gumi said. "Miku! It's usually no big deal when Luka drinks your blood, right? I mean, you were even joking about it, right?"

"Well, yeah," Miku said, "but—"

"And Luka! You're still feeling guilty about what happened in the basement, right? Because you were talking about bloodlust and stuff, right?"

"Yes, Gumi," said Luka, "but—"

"Isn't it obvious?" Gumi said. "Things are gonna be weird between us until you drink my blood properly!"

"That is logical," Miku thought out loud, "and yet, that is a sentence that you just don't hear very often."

—

Miku, Gumi and Luka sat together in a row along the edge of Miku's lower bunk-bed. "Nervous?" Miku asked Gumi with a kind smile.

"Utterly terrified," Gumi said honestly. "But we need to do this, and to get this out of the way."

Miku eyed Gumi's heavy long-sleeved sweatshirt. "You probably should change into a blouse that opens at the neck—"

Gumi pulled off her sweatshirt and tossed it aside, leaving herself in only a bra. "No reason to be shy. I'm about to let another woman give me a 'third-degree hickey'... Miku? When you do this with Luka? Does it usually, um... hurt?"

"There's a little pinch at the start," Miku said, "but it's no worse than an injection, and the pain doesn't last. And then..."

Miku cut herself off. "Wait a minute. Luka? Have you ever told her about the 'consent effect'?"

"No," a still-depressed Luka said quietly. "I have not been in the mood to talk of such things."

Gumi raised an eyebrow. "What are you talking about?"

"I'll let you find out for yourself," Miku said mischievously. "She surprised me with it, and I don't wanna spoil it for you. It's a really nice surprise."

"Um, OK," said Gumi. "...hold my hand?"

"Sure." Miku linked fingers with Gumi.

"Thanks, Miku. Go ahead, Luka."

Luka turned towards Gumi, and held one hand under Gumi's jaw. "Thank you for this, Gumi. You are a dear friend. And I am sorry to have lied to Miku, but now that I am looking at you like this, I find that I am quite hungry, after all."

"Bon appétit," Gumi said with a grin.

Luka pressed her lips against Gumi's neck and nuzzled her, and then broke skin with her fangs.

Gumi closed her eyes and winced. "NNNGH!" Tears came to her eyes immediately.

"Ssshh," Miku said. "It's OK, Gumi. You're doing great. And the hard part is already over."

Gumi opened her eyes and looked at Miku... and then she silently widened her eyes.

"You're starting to feel it now, right?" Miku said softly. "Don't fight it. Let it overwhelm you."

Gumi's eyes rolled back slightly, and her mouth fell open. She seemed to be trying to form words, but she could only work her mouth like a fish out of water. Miku felt Gumi shiver, and she held Gumi's hand very tightly.

Miku was entranced by Gumi's reaction, due to both her homosexuality and the love of her friend. _Oh wow,_ Miku thought to herself. _Gumi is so beautiful when she's like this. She's gonna make some guy so happy someday._

After a short time, Luka leaned back, holding a hand over her mouth. "I am done," she said. "Thank you again, Gumi. Your blood is deliciously sweet. I expected no less from a sweet girl like you."

"So?" Miku asked. "Whatcha think?"

Gumi began to smile. She smiled so widely that Miku thought that the top of her head might fall off. And then, without any warning, she threw her arms out into the air. "WOO HOO!" she whooped.

Luka and Miku stood up from the bunk-bed to avoid Gumi's arms. But Gumi took no notice of them. She rolled around on Miku's lower bunk, flailing her arms and legs, and laughed until she snorted.

"Call me crazy," Miku said, "but I think she liked it."

"Gumi's awkward exuberance is strangely endearing," Luka noted.

"I think the word you're looking for is 'a-dork-able'," Miku said. "Y'know, I hate to admit it, but that big nerd was right. This was between you and her, but even I feel like a weight has been lifted."

"Yes," Luka said, "and I must admit that I also feel better with a 'full stomach'. Thank you for tolerating my moodiness, Miku. I shall try to be better company from now on."

"That's what girlfriends are for," Miku said modestly. "...hey, Gumi! Calm down, would ya? If you keep that up, you're gonna blow a gasket!"

Gumi was finally able to form words again. "Oh WOW!" she cried. "That was INCREDIBLE! I feel like I just rode a roller coaster with my vibrator set on 'high'!"

"Too Much Information, Gumi," said Miku. "But actually, that's a really good description of it. I never really knew how to describe it, myself."

"PLEASE tell me that we can do that AGAIN sometime!" Gumi begged both Luka and Miku.

"I certainly would not mind," Luka said. "But I fear that doing so would make Miku jealous."

"Right now," Miku admitted, "I am so jealous that I could freak. But I'll deal with it. If I can't be generous with Gumi, then I don't deserve Best Friend Forever status."

Gumi jumped to her feet and gave her friends a surprisingly powerful group hug. "I LOVE BOTH OF YOU SO MUCH!" she shouted with uninhibited joy.

"We love you too," Miku said, "but seriously, turn it down a notch. We're living on a floor with extended 'quiet hours', you know."

"Oh, who CARES!" Gumi cried. "I've had enough of studying for a while!"

"Who are you, and what have you done with Gumi?" asked Luka.

"C'mon, you gloomy goobers!" said Gumi. "Let's have FUN! Let's dance in the streets, and swim in the fountains, and make out with the nearest hottie! Let's PARTY! WOO HOO!"

Again without warning, Gumi bolted through the door and slammed it shut behind her, leaving a bemused Miku and Luka behind.

Luka glanced back at Gumi's discarded sweatshirt. "Um, she isn't wearing a..."

"Yeah," said an amused Miku. "She'll remember that herself in a few seconds."

They stared at the closed door, and then Miku counted down. "Five. Four. Three. Two. One—"

An extremely red-faced Gumi quietly opened the door, came back in, closed the door, and stood with her back against the door. "You know," she said to Miku, "you could have come after me."

"HELLO? Raging lesbian here!" a smirking Miku said. "If you want to run around without a shirt on, I'm not gonna stop you!"

Gumi scowled. "Miku..." she growled.

Miku frowned. "This wasn't my fault, Gumi!... Well, I guess it was. I'm the 'Team Leader', and I'm responsible for keeping our weirdness private.

"Tell you what. Since I let you embarrass yourself, and since I watched you 'lose it' with Luka? I'll take a ten-minute penalty of your choice, and you can embarrass me in front of my girlfriend."

"A penalty game? You're on!" Gumi forgot her anger and regained her enthusiasm. "We haven't done this for a long time! I've gotta make it good! Hmm..."

Her face lit up. "I have an idea, but I should talk about it with Luka first."

Miku gulped. "Guh- go ahead," she stammered.

Gumi and Luka huddled up and whispered, as if they were planning a football play. Miku became even more nervous when Gumi gestured with her hands to explain her plan.

And then, Gumi and Luka slowly turned back to face Miku with identical bone-chilling merciless smiles. Miku whimpered.

In an instant, all three friends were back on Miku's lower bunk. Luka held Miku's shoulders from behind with unbreakable vampiric strength, and Gumi kneeled in front of Miku and began to pull off Miku's clothes.

"Hey!" said Miku. "At least buy me dinner first!"

"We're only going down to your underwear," Gumi explained. "I hereby declare a ten-minute unilateral suspension of our ban on tickle-fights."

"For TEN MINUTES?" Miku cried. "I'll DIE! LUKA! HELP!"

"Once agreed to, penalties must be served," Luka said sternly, but with a twinkle in her eye. "And I shall assist Gumi in embarrassing you. I also find myself in high spirits now, and I am not always submissive."

"TWO ON ONE?" Miku gasped. "I REALLY WILL DIE!"

Gumi pulled off her own jeans. "You know," she said, "all female college room-mates, gay and straight, are required to have at least one tickle-fight in their underwear. I think it's a universal law of perversion. We might as well get that out of the way too."

"O, that it should have come to this!" Miku said melodramatically. "My faithful sidekick, and my loving girlfriend, conspiring to torture me! But I'll get you for this, do you hear! I'll get you for BWAH HA HA HA HA HA! BWAH HA HA HA!..."

"Not for the next nine minutes and fifty seconds, you won't," Gumi said happily.


	12. Team Meeting 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Published 24-May-2013; humor/romance; about 2000 words.
> 
> Thank you for all of the comments. This has become the most popular fic I've ever written. But then, one can hardly go wrong with vampires and cute perverted yuri.
> 
> This contains extremely silly random tangents (this is what happens when you pad a single scene out to TWO CHAPTERS) and some adult humor. Reader discretion is advised.

Since Luka was no longer brooding, Miku had called a "Team Meeting" to discuss many important matters with Luka and Gumi. And as usual, Miku had gone all out— she had reserved a small meeting room in a nearby hall, late in the evening so that Luka could attend unmasked, and she had asked her friends to observe a "business-formal" dress code for the meeting.

Luka neither bathed nor did laundry as often as a mortal, and she owned very little clothing in general. She still wore her usual black skirt, black tights and low-heeled black boots. But she had changed her loose hooded sweater for an elegant black turtle-neck and an ornate necklace. She had also tied back her long pink hair into a business-woman's pony-tail.

Gumi had followed Miku's dress-code request conscientiously. She wore a dark suit jacket over a crisp white blouse with a scarf-tie, a black pencil skirt, hose and polished closed-toe heels. Her only indulgence was a cute cartoon carrot pin on her lapel.

Meanwhile, a flamboyant Miku redefined "business-formal" for herself, and simply wore a man's narrow necktie over her cheerleader's sleeveless blouse and pleated skirt. She somehow looked like a futuristic Japanese idol singer, or even a mascot character for voice-synthesis computer software.

Miku stood at the head of the single table in the small meeting room, and Gumi (with a stack of notebooks and loose papers) and Luka (with an old-fashioned clipboard) sat in the first chair on either side. And as they took their seats, Miki knocked at the door, wearing her usual barista's black vest and bow tie, and carrying a coffee thermos, paper cups and a small box of conference-table pastries.

As Miki poured the coffee, Miku cleared her throat. "This meeting of 'Team Miku' is hereby called to order. Before we begin, the Chair would like to thank the representative from SF-A2 Coffee for personally delivering our refreshments."

Gumi, Luka and Miku gave Miki a polite round of golf-claps. "Thanks!" Miki said happily. "Can I stay for your meeting? My shift is over, and this looks like fun."

Miku frowned. "Um... Sorry, Miki, but we were going to talk about some really personal stuff—"

"Oh, that's alright!" Miki said brightly. "I already know Ms. Miku's Friend is a vampire, if that's what you're worried about."

The room went so quiet that Miki imagined she could hear individual air molecules colliding. "Is something wrong?" she asked innocently.

Gumi turned to glare at Miku with Nerd Rage turned up to eleven. "It wasn't me!" a panicking Miku said. "I swear I didn't breathe a word!"

Luka closed her eyes and rubbed her temples, as if she had a headache. "Perhaps we should abandon all pretense of secrecy now," she growled, "and erect a billboard along the highway that reads VAMPIRE: NEXT EXIT!"

An in-character Gumi quickly checked some figures in one of her notebooks. "Hmm... no, I'm afraid our advertising budget would barely cover a bulletin board poster in the student union."

"Nobody told me," Miki said. "I knew it as soon as Miku invited Ms. Miku's Friend into the coffee-shop. I expected her to tear out my throat right from the start. No offense."

"No offense taken," Luka said, sadly but sincerely. "I get that a lot."

"That's amazing, Miki," said a genuinely impressed Gumi. "You figured it out much faster than I did."

"It was obvious, Gumi." Without warning, Miki leaned in on the seated Luka, stuck her fingers in Luka's mouth, and pried open Luka's teeth, as if she were checking the age of a race horse. "Just look at those pronounced canines!"

"'iki?" said Luka. "'leash 'ake your 'ingersh ou' o' my mou'."

"But don't worry, Ms. Miku's Friend," Miki said, as she drew back. "I have to admit that I'm a blabber-mouth who couldn't keep a secret if I were the last barista on Earth. But I'm also clinically insane, and so no one will ever believe me."

"That is true," Luka said. "Thank you, Miki. For once, I find your insanity reassuring. And since it seems I can keep no secrets from you, you can stop calling me 'Ms. Miku's Friend'. My name is Luka."

"'Luka Miku's-Friend'," said Miki. "Got it!"

"No, 'Miku's-Friend' is not my last name," Luka said with very little patience. "My name is Luka Megurine, Miki."

"Luka Megurine Miki?" said Miki. "Oh wow! Your last name is the same as my first name!"

Luka lost all hope. Overwhelmed with despair, she did a "face-desk" into the table with a dull thud. "Ouch," she said forlornly into the table.

Miku addressed Miki. "The Chair respectfully requests that the representative from SF-A2 Coffee quit teasing the Chair's girlfriend. And if you want to join our meeting, let's start roll call with you."

Miki saluted smartly. "SF-A2 Beverage Request Fulfillment Technician First Class Miki, not fully present and accounted for, but always at your service!"

Gumi went next. "Gumi Megpoid, part-time secretary and full-time sidekick and 'soopah-genius'. Before we continue, I have a question for the Chair." 

"This is highly improper," Miku said, "but so am I. Go ahead, Secretary Gumi."

"Can I be 'SEC-uh-tree Gumi' instead of 'sec-rah-TEAR-ee Gumi'?" asked Gumi.

"What's the difference between a 'SEC-uh-tree' and a 'sec-rah-TEAR-ee'?" Miku asked in response.

"There's no difference in meaning that I know of," Gumi said. "But 'SEC-uh-tree' just sounds cool."

Miku sighed. "Please let the meeting notes show that SEC-RAH-TEAR-EE Gumi is a BIG NERD."

Gumi wrote down this dictum faithfully, albeit with an addendum. "Miku: Secretary... Gumi... is a... big... nerd. Gumi: Screw... you. Got it. Sorry Luka, go ahead."

Luka was still face-desk'ing. "My name is Luka Megurine Miki," she said into the table, "and the entire world and its dog already knows that I am the friendly neighborhood vampire."

"Chin up, Luka," said Miku. "No, seriously. Get your chin up off the table, or else you're gonna get lamination patterns on your face...

"And I, my friends, am the cute little cheerleader, RELENTLESS SEX MACHINE, and extra-special awesome-sauce widely known (and universally loved) as Miku Hatsune. No pictures or photographs, please."

"And she's modest, too," Gumi said dryly.

"Hush, you," said Miku. "...actually, no, don't hush. Secretary Gumi, please read back the minutes from our previous meeting."

Gumi stood up, put on a pair of black-rimmed reading glasses, and held up a blank sheet of paper. "There are no minutes from the previous meeting," she announced, "because there was no previous meeting. This concludes my presentation."

"Thank you, Secretary Gumi," said Miku, as Gumi sat back down. "And by the way, those reading glasses look really hot on you."

"Thank you, Madam Chairperson," Gumi said, "but that's sexual harassment. You'll be hearing from HR and my personal lawyer."

"I regret NOTHING," Miku declared with insensitive glee.

"May I borrow those glasses?" Luka asked. Gumi handed them to Luka, and then Luka modeled them for Miku as well. "What do you think, Miku?"

Miku shuddered with desire. "I think," she said in a lusty voice, "that I've just discovered a new fetish. Please take those off before I drag you up onto the table and take everything else off you."

"Hearing that makes me wonder how many other people have had sex on this table," Miki said thoughtfully, "and whether it's been wiped down since the last time."

Gumi stared at the table for a moment. And then, she gingerly picked up her stack of notebooks and her coffee, and carefully pushed herself away from the table.

"Now that we've completed the pointless roll call and the pointless reading of the non-existent minutes from the non-existent previous meeting," Miku said, "The Chair would like to get started on the first and most important item on this evening's agenda. And that, of course, is me."

"No big surprise there," Gumi said dryly again.

"Wouldn't you be scared if you were told you weren't human, but you didn't know what you were?" asked Miku. "What if I'm in the middle of class or cheerleading, or I'm hanging around with you, and I suddenly sprout a second head, or extra arms, or tentacles, or something."

A deeply disturbing smile came to Gumi's face. "My room-mate might turn into a tentacle monster?" she said. "Ooh, that would be fun."

Luka and Miku slowly turned towards Gumi, and stared at her in abject horror. 

"...oops," said Gumi. "I shouldn't have said that out loud, should I?"

"EEUGH!" said a thoroughly repulsed Luka and Miku in perfect unison.

"Don't judge me, alright?" Gumi snapped. "I'm sorry, but I don't think a vampire-loving lesbian and a lesbian-loving vampire are entitled to judge me and my kinks!"

"I've always heard that smart girls are super-freaky in bed," Miku said, "and now I believe it. And by the way, I don't care how much you cry— you're never bunking with me again."

"Hey, Gumi?" asked Miki. "Are you seeing anyone now? 'Cause I know a really nice tentacle monster who's single. He's an older man, but..."

Luka and Miku slowly turned towards Miki, and stared at her in abject horror.

"...what?" said Miki. "It wouldn't be weird! He's not THAT much older than Gumi!"

Miku cleared her throat again. "Getting back to the subject at hand—"

"Please," Luka said. "For the sweet love of all that is good and pure, PLEASE change the subject."

"How much do you know about me?" Miku asked Luka. "And please, tell us everything you know."

"Honestly, I am afraid that I know very little," said Luka. "You have super-human reflexes and resilience when you are forced to deal with other supernatural entities, such as the elemental and myself. And you feel compelled to sing at times, and you have the power of enthrallment when you sing, but that could be due merely to your beautiful voice and engaging personality. 

"However, I am quite sure that you need not worry about extra heads or arms, or... other things. You are surely a 'near-human' entity, or else your condition could not have gone undetected for so long, and I could not draw nourishment from your blood. Indeed, you seem very much like a normal young human woman to me. That is, for outlying values of 'normal'."

"That doesn't help much," Miku said. "Is there anyone else we could ask?"

"I have an idea," Luka said. "Miki? As you have said yourself, you can see things that most others cannot, and you immediately recognized me as a vampire. Could you take a closer look at Miku?"

"Sure!" Miki trotted up to Miku. She narrowed one eye and scowled at Miku in an incredibly cute way. And then, she suddenly reached up, held Miku's face in both hands, and began to twist Miku's head rapidly from side to side.

"What are you doing?" Miku asked.

"Playing with your twin-tails," Miki said. "They make a really neat swirly shape when I do this."

Miku stood back, growled at Miki, and pointed at the empty chair next to Gumi. "QUIT and SIT."

With tearful eyes and a drooping _ahoge_ , Miki hung her head and sat down like a scolded child.

"That did not help much either," Luka said. "Hmm... with the Chair's permission, I should like to enlist the services of an outside consultant to resolve this matter. He is also several centuries in age, and he is, to my knowledge, the foremost expert on supernatural flora and fauna in the world. I have not spoken with him in several years, but he would be eager to help me... too eager, in fact. I fear that I have an unusual relationship with him, as well."

"Do you mean he keeps trying to kill you, like that other vampire?" Miku asked worriedly.

"No, not at all," Luka said. "However, he is really, really, really, really annoying."

"The Chair approves." Miku gestured to Miki and Gumi. "I'm used to 'really, really, really, really annoying'."

"HEY!" said Gumi. "Annoying people who live in annoying glass houses shouldn't throw annoying stones!"


	13. Team Meeting 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Published 24-May-2013; humor/romance; about 2000 words.
> 
> This contains adult themes and adult humor. Reader discretion is advised.

"Next item on the agenda," said Miku. "The Chair has been thinking about some things, and... Well, first, I have another question for you, Luka. At a minimum, how many humans do you need for blood?"

"An interesting question," Luka said. "I actually require a very small amount of blood by volume daily. If my donors were hale and healthy, and if I greatly conserved my energies, I could sustain myself with two humans. And if I had three, all of us could live quite comfortably."

"Assuming Gumi is OK with being Donor Number Two— and we both know she is— and assuming I can find a third donor... would you be OK with that? I know you've been worried about putting other people in danger, and I'm trying to think of ways to reduce your exposure."

Miku rubbed her neck in embarrassment. "And also, the thought of you feeding on other girls makes me crazy jealous, and I was hoping that, at least in a sense, we could 'go steady'. I think I'd be a little less jealous if the other donors were people I knew."

Luka was so touched that she was almost moved to tears. "You would do that for me? You and Gumi?... Yes, I would be very happy with such an arrangement. Searching for blood can be a tedious chore, and it would be wonderful if I did not have to search for it."

"In that case," Miku said, "all we need is one more girl."

"It would not necessarily have to be a female—" Luka started to say.

"No, I'm afraid that it would," Miku said quickly. "It absolutely has to be a 'hale and healthy' lady woman female girl person. And I'm afraid that anyone who says otherwise is completely mistaken."

Gumi narrowed her eyes in suspicion at Miku. "Heeeeeeeey waitaminit. You're just using this as an excuse to build your own personal harem, aren't you?"

Miku narrowed her own eyes in response. "Eider o' youse gotta problem wid dat?"

"NO MA'AM," Gumi and Luka said in perfect unison.

"No, seriously," Miku said. "I know I'm being a big hypocrite. If it were the other way around, I'd be insanely jealous. I don't want 'Team Miku' to break up over this."

"As always," Luka said, "I am happy to let you make all these choices. I have yet to regret it. And I have gained a dear friend in Gumi. Perhaps I could gain another."

Gumi smiled. "Yeah, I know I felt threatened by the idea of your having a girlfriend at first, but it's worked out great. Luka is my pal now too. And I'm about as gay-friendly as a straight girl can be, and so either orientation would be OK with me."

"Let's table this discussion for a moment," Miku said, "and tackle the last item, because it's related. Secretary Gumi, this question is for you. Would you be OK with moving off-campus to private housing?"

Gumi blinked in surprise. "Um... sure. I don't have a car, and I'd have to get a bicycle right away, or depend on you for rides. But yeah, that'd be OK. Why do you want to move?"

"Two reasons," Miku said. "The first is, our residence hall has bad memories for all three of us, and I'd like to make a change.

"And the other reason is Luka. I'd like to get her off-campus to reduce her exposure further. And besides that, I don't like the idea of my girlfriend sleeping in closets and crawlspaces, or having to sneak in and out of a residence hall, all the time."

Miku turned back to Luka. "How about it, Luka? We've been rushing into this relationship all along, and we might as well keep rushing. Wanna move in together?"

Luka was already softened up by Miku's first offer, and this offer quickly brought her to happy tears. "...yes," she sniffed. "Thank you, Miku. I love you very much."

Miku winked at her. "Love you too. OK, let's do 'business requirements'. We need to find a place with dirt-cheap rent, at least one windowless room, and a fourth female room-mate who doesn't mind having her blood sucked every third day. It would actually be better if it's a long ways from campus, or even just out of town, but still within bicycle range. Gumi needs some shelves for her books and her highly toxic chemicals and stuff, and I need more closet space than bedroom for all of my clothes. And it might also be nice if it's a place where I won't get my head stomped for being openly gay."

Gumi whistled. "That's a lot of requirements."

Miki silently counted on her fingers, as if she were working through the list, and then she spoke up. "You could move in with me. I'm pretty sure I've got all of those requirements covered."

"...really?" Miku said in surprise. "I thought you lived with your family."

"No, I'm on my own," Miki said. "I was thinking about selling my family's house and moving into the back room at the coffee-house. But I could keep the house and take boarders instead."

"Wait a minute," Miku said. "Do you mean to say that you live alone, go to school full-time, and run the coffee-house by yourself? How do you find the time to sleep?"

"I have a naturally manic personality," Miki said, "and I have a permanent double-digit 'Blood Caffeine Count'. I haven't slept for more than ninety minutes at a time for years."

"Is that possible?" Luka thought out loud. "Even I am cranky and irritable if I do not get eight hours."

"If you don't mind my asking, Miki," asked Gumi. "Where is your family?"

"They're gone," Miki said.

Gumi gasped. "Oh, Miki! I'm so sorry!"

Miki giggled. "Oh no, Gumi! I didn't mean that they're dead! They're just 'gone'."

"...oh," said Gumi. "Where did they go?"

"Insane," said Miki.

An extremely uncomfortable silence fell over the room.

And then, Miki explained. "When I first started to talk as a small child, my mother couldn't bear the horror of what she had borne and unleashed upon the world, and so she left my father and joined a commune in Canada. Dad did the best he could, but he finally lost it just after I got my driver's license. I can't even visit him at the institution anymore. They told me that I have a bad effect on the other patients."

The extremely uncomfortable silence persisted.

"But don't worry about all that!" Miki said cheerfully. "I'm sure it's only a coincidence that the only two people who ever lived with me are irretrievably insane. I'm sure all three of you would be juuuuust fiiiiine."

"...oh well," Miku said, resigning herself to her possible fate. "Sanity is over-rated. And I'm not exactly a model of mental stability, as it is."

"When one is over three hundred years old," Luka confessed, "one inevitably goes mad, and sane again, several times over. It is a well-trodden path for me."

"And if both of you are going crazy," Gumi said, "you might as well take me with you."

"While 'Team Miku' considers this proposal, the Chair has one more question," Miku said. "And Miki? All joking aside? You don't have to answer this in front of all of us. But you can see that the three of us don't keep secrets from each other, and so I'm gonna go ahead and ask it.

"Miki, are you gay please say yes please say yes?"

Miki replied with a wistful smile. "Sure, I'll answer that question here and now. I'm sorry to disappoint the Chair, but actually, I'm asexual."

A second uncomfortable silence fell over the room. "...ouch," Miku said. "I wasn't expecting that answer. I'm sorry, Miki. Um... should I say 'I'm sorry'?"

"You can if you want," Miki said casually, "but really, it's no big deal. I don't miss what I've never had."

"Is it a medical problem?" Gumi asked carefully. "Maybe you could get some kind of treatment for that."

"Dunno," said Miki. "When I first realized it, I thought about asking a doctor about it. But I don't think I'd want to try to change it. It'd be like... sorry, Miku, but it'd be like your trying not to be gay.

"And anyway, it's really for the best. If I were physically attracted to anyone, I'd just be lonely, 'cause no one will ever love a weirdo like me."

A third stunned silence in as many minutes fell over the room.

Miku finally broke the silence again. "* _ahem_ * The Chair respectfully requests that the representative from SF-A2 Coffee present her person to the Chair for a hug."

"'kay," said Miki. She trotted around the table, and let herself be hugged fiercely by the taller Miku.

"If anybody can love you, I can," Miku said confidently. "And it can be any kind of love you want, Miki. 'Gay' is my specialty, but Gumi can tell you that I'm pretty good at 'friend like family' love too."

"Miku's 'friend like family' flavored love is highly recommended," Gumi said with misty eyes and a warm smile.

Overwhelmed with emotion, Miki remained silent for once. She clutched at Miku like a lost child reunited with her parent.

Miku looked back up at Gumi and Luka. "The Chair has her hands full, but let's put this motion to a vote. All those in favor of relocating our main office and merging our operations with SF-A2 Coffee?"

"AYE," said Gumi, Luka and Miku herself.

"Opposed?" asked Miku.

Silence.

"The motion is passed unanimously. Well, that is, if my father agrees to it too. But my grades are good, and this should save him money on room and board... I believe that's everything on this evening's agenda. Do I have a second to adjourn?"

"One-thousand one," Miki said into Miku's shoulder. "But you can have longer than a second."

"...yeah, I walked right into that one," Miku said with a smile. "Meeting adjourned. Gumi, since you have an early class tomorrow, why don't you and our room-mate-to-be head out now? Me and the 'night owl' can clean up here."

"Thanks." Gumi held a friendly arm around Miki's shoulders, and walked with her towards the door. "Can I stop by the coffee-house tomorrow, Miki? Since Miku knows you better than I do, we have some catching up to do. And I don't actually know much about coffee, besides the 'varnish remover' in the library lounge vending machine. Maybe you could show me what you've got."

"Sure, Gumi," said Miki happily. "I'd like that."

"And maybe you could also tell me about that tentacle monster," Gumi asked hopefully. "I don't care whether he's real or not. Just be sure to go into lots of detail."

"No problem," said Miki. "It'll be fun to talk to someone who's even weirder than I am for a change."

Miku closed the meeting-room door after them, and then gave Luka a sly look. "We still have this room reserved for another full hour," Miku said. "And it'd be a shame to let all this privacy go to waste."

"Then let us make good use of it," said Luka, giving her lover a sly look in return. "I am ready for love at any time and any place with you, Miku."

"Awesome," said Miku. "Is it OK if I 'set the agenda' of this 'meeting' too? I know you 'like it' when I take the lead, but I still want your consent."

"Thank you for being so considerate, Miku," said Luka. "You have my consent. You may ask anything of me. I can never say no to you."

"Double awesome." Miku held out Gumi's reading glasses in one hand, and pointed at the table with the other. "NAKED. GLASSES. TABLE. NOW."

"But Miku," said a smiling Luka, as she obediently began to disrobe. "I thought you did not want for me to have lamination patterns on my skin."

"Just not on your face," Miku said. "I never said anything about your back."


	14. Moving In

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Published 2-Jun-2013; humor/romance; about 2100 words.
> 
> This takes place a week or two after the previous chapter.
> 
> This contains adult themes and adult humor. Reader discretion is advised.

Miku parked her car in the driveway next to Miki's house, at the far edge of the city on a beautiful late-autumn Saturday morning. "Here we are, Luka," she said to her passenger.

Luka had long since learned how to work her seat belt and car door. She let herself out and walked around Miku's car, wearing her face-mask and sunglasses, and carrying a large black duffel-bag.

Miku locked her car, and then eyed the duffel-bag. "Is that really everything that you own?" she asked. "I had to make four trips just to move what I brought with me to the residence hall."

"Yes," said Luka. "I have no need for possessions, besides a few changes of clothes. And I have no money, and so I must steal what I need, or rummage through the trash until I find it."

"Oh, Luka!" said Miku. "I am SO taking you shopping next weekend."

"There is no need to pamper me," Luka said, "especially since you and Gumi would not even let me help you move here."

"You helped us pack, back at the residence hall," Miku said, "and I wanted to bring you here after Gumi and I were all set and ready to party. Just let your friends spoil you for awhile, OK?"

"Very well." Luka looked around as she and Miku walked to the front door. "Miki's house is actually quite large, especially for a small person like Miki. And it looks like the yard is spacious as well."

"Yeah," Miku agreed, "and it's in good shape. It's definitely not the ramshackle gothic mansion I was somehow expecting. Either Miki's father left her debt-free, or else there's a lot of money in coffee."

Miku let herself in and walked some distance into the house, and then realised that Luka still stood outside. "Whatcha waitin' for," she said, "a personal invitation?"

"Yes," Luka said, a bit sadly. "Vampires require an explicit invitation to enter a private residence."

"Aw, nuts," said Miku. "I'm sorry, Luka. I feel like I've locked out the family kitten. Please come in."

"Thank you, Miku. No harm is done." Luka let herself in, just as Miki called up from the basement. "Is that Luka? C'mon down! Your Subterranean Lair Of Doom awaits!"

Luka followed Miku through a hallway, down a set of carpeted steps, and into a large central basement room, to meet with Miki. The full-sized basement was partitioned into two small bedrooms on one side and a wide utility area with washer and dryer on the other side. The central room featured a comfortably worn sofa, a medium-sized television standing on a small cabinet, Miku's recently moved mini-fridge, and a large desk in a far corner.

Miki gestured to the closest bedroom. "Luka, we thought you'd like this bedroom. The other bedroom has an open ground-level window, and so Miku took it for herself."

Miku looked at Luka with concern. "Are you OK?"

After removing her mask and sunglasses, Luka brushed away happy tears. "I am overwhelmed. I never dreamt that I would have a bedroom again. I almost feel human."

Miku gave her a hug. "Now I feel selfish and shallow. All I've been able to think about is the different places and positions in which we can 'get our freak on' down here."

Luka giggled. "Perhaps you should not talk of such things in front of our landlord."

"Oh, I don't mind," Miki said. "Gumi and I are upstairs, and the basement is all yours. 'And it harm none, do what you will.' But maybe you could lock the basement door, or put a note on the door, while you're using your whips and chains and 'implements of perversion' on each other."

"Understood," Miku said, as if she actually had such items to use on her girlfriend.

Luka gulped. "Sometimes you frighten me, Miku. But in a pleasantly exciting way. I think."

Miku noticed a computer on the desk in the corner of the open area. "Is that computer hooked up to the Internet?" she asked.

"Yup!" said Miki. "It's an old PC, but it's good enough for researching all those positions you want to try out. And it'll give Luka something to read when she's alone."

"Is reading the Internet an enjoyable way to pass the time?" Luka asked innocently.

"Oh wow," Miku said. "You really are out of touch, Luka. You have so much to learn."

"Indeed I do," Luka said solemnly. "I shall have to learn enough to get a job to pay my rent."

Miku and Miki looked at each other in surprise. "You don't have to do that!" Miki said. "Miku and Gumi's rent easily covers you too. And you're our guest of honor."

"Oh, but I insist," Luka said. "I am grateful for the kindness that you have already shown me. But I simply must pay for my own keep, even if it is only a token amount."

"Hmm..." Miki said. "I could use a part-time dishwasher and errand girl at the coffee-house. You could stay 'undocumented' and work for rent and some pocket-money."

"...are you sure, Miki?" asked Luka. "It would be wonderful if I could both live and work in secrecy. But I feel as if I am already imposing on you."

"There's always work to do," Miki said. "And it would be nice to have someone to talk to during slow times. I usually scare away my help when I try to chat with them."

Luka was almost moved to tears again. "I am so grateful for your kindness and generosity. I thank the Maker that I met Miku, and then Gumi, and then you too, Miki."

"I never thought I'd hear someone be grateful for the chance to wash dishes," Miku said. She sensed an opportunity for a group hug with Luka and Miki, and took it.

After a moment, Miku stood back and spoke again. "By the way, where's Gumi? I hope we'll have lots of hugs, but I hate for that big nerd to miss out on any of them."

"She's making a picnic lunch for you and me," Miki said. "She's already made big bowls of potato salad and carrot salad, and she's gonna cook some brats on my grill—"

"WHAT?" Miku gasped. "You let GUMI near a GRILL?"

"Um... yes?" said Miki, as Miku turned and bolted. "But I suddenly have a feeling that was a terrible mistake."

Miku raced up the steps, through Miki's house, into the kitchen, and through its open sliding patio doors into the back yard, to see Gumi dump a full bag of charcoal briquettes into an already-full grill.

"Um, Gumi-bear? Sweetie?" said a worried Miku. "Don't you think that's enough briquettes?"

"No," Gumi said, "but this is all that Miki has." She held a huge can of lighter fluid upside-down in both hands, and began to drench the briquettes with reckless abandon.

"GUMI! WHAT ARE YOU DOING! GUMI! STAHP!" Miku tried to take the lighter fluid away from Gumi. "At least let Luka spend one night in this house before you burn it down!"

Gumi held the lighter fluid above her head and away from Miku. "FROM MY COLD DEAD HANDS!" she shouted with righteous Nerd Rage.

Luka had followed Miku up to the open patio doors, putting on her face-mask and sunglasses and pulling up her hood again. "Problem?" she asked Miku from the doorway.

"Luka! You're just in time to save us all!" said a frantic Miku. "Please take that lighter fluid away from this firebug, and then take her away from the grill! I'll take over here."

Luka effortlessly held a struggling Gumi in a gentle bear hug with her vampiric strength. "Gumi's major is chemical engineering," she asked Miku. "If this is how she behaves, should we not be concerned for our own safety in general?"

"Nah," said Miku, as she carefully removed briquettes from the grill and returned them to the empty bag. "She's always been good in class. She's only scary with large open fires. I think her family let her play with matches as a child."

Gumi desperately reached out towards the grill as Luka dragged her back into the house. "NOOOO!" Gumi wailed. "THE FIRE IS MY MISTRESS! I MUST HEED HER CALL!..."

—

After Miku had grilled a platter of burgers and brats over a greatly reduced fire, the four friends sat down at Miki's kitchen table to enjoy a picnic-style lunch.

Miku shoveled a heaping tablespoon of potato salad into her mouth. "Awesome grub, Gumi-bear. The spring onions in this potato salad are simply exquisite."

"Thanks." Gumi glanced at Luka, who was nursing a large glass of unsweetened iced tea. "I wish our guest of honor could enjoy it too."

"Ooh! I'll be Luka's lunch! Hang on..." Miki stuffed the remaining half of her brat into her mouth, and then stood up from the table.

"I do not have to feed right now, Miki," said Luka. "You should take your time and enjoy your lunch with Miku and Gumi."

Miki was unable to answer. She had stuffed her mouth so full that she had trouble chewing. She silently gestured, and then danced in place in frustration.

"On the other hand," an amused Miku said, "this definitely has entertainment value."

Miki finally swallowed her food. "NNNGH! I HATE it when I do that... That's OK, Luka. That's enough for me. And we decided that I would 'go first' with you."

Without warning, she pushed herself between the seated Luka and the kitchen table, and then sat in Luka's lap. Although Luka was only of average height, Miki looked like a child in her lap.

"Your sitting in Luka's lap while she feeds on you is both cute and creepy," Miku said to Miki. "But I'll try not to pummel you severely in a fit of jealousy for cuddling with my girlfriend without asking."

"Thanks!" Miki unbuttoned her blouse to reveal a modest tank-top. "Soup's on, Luka."

Luka raised an eyebrow. "Are you comfortable with doing this for the first time in front of your friends?"

"Sure!" Miki said. "I like how open you all are with each other, and I wanna play too. And really, it's no big deal. We all know that life 'sucks' in general anyway."

"If you're OK with it, Luka, go ahead," said Miku. "I want to see how the 'consent effect' works on someone like Miki."

"Very well. Thank you, Miki." As usual, Luka briefly nuzzled Miki's lower neck, and then she bit down and began to feed. But unlike Miku and Gumi, Miki didn't flinch.

"Didn't that hurt?" Gumi asked Miki.

"I work with hot and sharp things all the time," Miki said proudly, "and I work in customer service. I've built up a thick skin and an extremely high pain threshold."

"Are you feeling anything unusual?" Miku asked eagerly.

"No, not really. Should I?" But then, Miki unexpectedly yawned. "Actually, I do feel nice and relaxed, all of a sudden... Oh wow. I can hardly keep my... eyes... open..."

Just as Luka finished and sat up straight, Miki slumped against her. Miku and Gumi stood up in alarm. "Is she alright?" Gumi asked.

Luka felt for Miki's pulse. "Yes. She is only sleeping. She sleeps very little, and apparently, sleep is her greatest physical pleasure."

"Just look at her face," Gumi said. "She's always cheerful, but always so intense. I've never seen her look so relaxed and at peace."

"Neither have I," Miku agreed. "Congratulations, Luka. The 'consent effect' remains undefeated."

Luka stood up, carefully gathering Miki up in her arms. "I shall put her to bed. Which room is hers?"

"Second door on the left." Miku watched Luka walk away. "This is so cool, Gumi. This is gonna 'work'."

"I never had any doubt," Gumi said proudly. "You're a highly effective 'team leader'."

Just as Luka returned, the three friends heard a knock at the front door. "Was Miki expecting someone else?" Luka asked.

"She didn't say anything to us," Miku said.

"You and Gumi should enjoy your lunch." Luka turned away again. "I shall answer the door, since I am already up."

"Aren't you going to put on your mask and sunglasses?" Miku asked after her.

"Thank you, Miku," said Luka, "but I should not need them as long as I remain within the house."

Luka walked up to Miki's front door and opened it confidently— but when she saw who was there, she froze in abject horror.

"Oh NO," Luka said out loud.


	15. The Consultant 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Published 9-Jun-2013; humor/romance; about 2000 words.
> 
> Here's the big "reveal" on Miku. This is a bit earlier than I first planned, but I wanted to reveal it before I took a break from this story.
> 
> This contains adult themes and adult humor. Reader discretion is advised.

A tall man with very long purple hair stood at the door. He wore a long white coat that vaguely resembled a samurai's kimono, and he carried a briefcase in one hand and an antique doctor's satchel in the other.

As soon as he saw Luka's face, his own face lit up in utter joy. He set down his briefcase and satchel... and then, he went down on one knee in the doorway. "LUKA!" he shouted eagerly. "WILL YOU MARRY ME?"

Luka answered him indirectly by slamming the door shut in his face. Ignoring the sounds of his crying out in pain and falling flat on his back, she stomped back to the kitchen.

Miku and Gumi stared at her blankly as she sat down at the kitchen table, slumped forward, and held her face in her hands. "I am sorry," she said, "but I will have to ask one of you to answer the door, after all. It is too much for me to bear."

Miku and Gumi looked at each other, and then Gumi stood up. "I'll get it," she said. "You stay here, and... um... do something with Luka."

Gumi walked up to the front door and opened it, and found the man sprawled flat on his back, but still grinning like an idiot. "Um, sir?" Gumi asked nervously. "Are you alright?"

The man raised his head and winked at her. "I would say that 'only my pride is wounded'... but fortunately for me, I have no pride!"

"...I see." Gumi held out her hand. "Can I help you up? Pride or no, that position doesn't look very comfortable."

"Thank you, miss." Pulling only slightly on Gumi's hand, the man sprung to his feet, as though he were quite athletic, and then brushed the dust and grass from his coat. "Pardon me for not introducing myself. My name is Gakupo Kamui. Your friend Luka asked me to help you with a certain personal matter."

Gumi frowned in thought until she figured it out. "Oh!" she said. "You must be the 'consultant' that Luka mentioned. Sorry, but I'm not Miku— I'm her friend Gumi. But yes, please come in."

After setting his briefcase and satchel down in the living room, Gakupo followed Gumi into the kitchen, to see Miku standing over Luka with one hand on her shoulder.

"This is Miku, sir," Gumi said to Gakupo, "and I believe you already know Luka."

"Is something wrong, Luka?" asked Gakupo innocently. "And will you marry me?"

"YES and NO!" Luka shouted, causing Miku to jump in surprise. "I know I foolishly asked you to come, but WHY are you HERE?"

"I was on my way towards the college," Gakupo said, "but when I drove past this house, my 'samurai sense' began to tingle."

"If you have a strange tingling sensation, see a doctor about it!" Luka snapped. "Why did you not call to ask if we had moved yet, or at least to let us know you were coming today?"

"I was afraid that, if I let you know exactly when I was coming, you wouldn't even answer the door at all, let alone slam it in my face," Gakupo said. "By the way, will you marry me?"

"NO!" Luka shrieked.

Miku frowned at Gakupo. "Thank you for coming to see me," she said, "but please stop trying to marry my girlfriend."

"Pleased to meet you, miss." Gakupo held out his hand— and froze. "Sorry— did you say 'girlfriend'? Luka failed to mention that."

Miku shook his hand proudly. "Indeed I did," she said smugly. "Luka swings both ways, and she swung over to the other team for me."

Gakupo's eyes widened. Staring at Miku and Luka, he held a hand over his mouth, as if he were trying not to have a massive nosebleed.

"Um, sir?" Gumi asked again. "Are you alright?"

"Don't worry, Gumi," said Miku. "Assuming he's a typical heterosexual man, and knowing that he's in love with Luka, he's imagining me and Luka having hot lesbian sex right now."

"...oh," said Gumi. "Of course. Duh. And also, eww."

"Pardon my surprise," Gakupo said quietly. "Luka has refused my advances for nearly two hundred years, and I did not expect her to give her heart to another of any gender..."

But then, he grinned again. "But you seem like a lovely woman as well, Miss Miku! If you also love Luka, let's ALL THREE of us get married! Luka and Miku, will you marry me?" 

Luka did a "face-desk" into the kitchen table. "That is BIGAMY, you incomprehensibly idiotic person!" she cried into the table.

Gakupo gestured to himself with very little modesty. "Yes, and it is 'big-of-ME' too! Miss Gumi, would you like to marry all of us as well?"

Miku suddenly felt another typical Miku-esque twinge of jealousy. "Hey! This is MY harem of loveable social outcasts! Get yer own, bitch."

Gakupo froze in surprise for a second time. "Do you also mean to say that you are the dominant partner in your relationship with Luka?"

"I'm not sure exactly what I am," Miku said with very little modesty of her own, "but I do know that I'm a RELENTLESS SEX MACHINE."

"Oh, Luka! I'm BEGGING you!" Gakupo cried. "PLEASE let me marry you and Miku! I'll become Miku's love slave too! I'm OK with that!"

"NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO!" Luka wailed, beating her head against the table in time with her repeated refusals. "And also, NO!"

"I know you asked him to stop proposing," Gumi said to Miku, "but you do have to admire his persistence."

"NO you do NOT!" Luka said sternly. "You do not have to admire it at all! There is nothing about it that is even remotely admirable!"

"Luka, please!" Gumi said sternly in response. "Mr. Kamui came all the way here to help Miku. Sir, can I get you something to drink?"

"Just Gakupo will do, Miss Gumi. And actually..." Gakupo eyed the half-full platter of grilled brats and burgers. "Could I impose on you for a bite to eat? I have not yet had lunch, myself."

"Of course!" Gumi said sweetly. "And just Gumi is fine, too. Let me fix a plate for you and warm it up in the microwave—"

&quotDo not FEED it!" Luka shouted, referring to Gakupo as if he were a stray animal. "If you feed it, it might never leave!"

—

Some time later, Gakupo dabbed at his mouth with a napkin, and then stood up from the kitchen table. "Thank you again, Gumi. If you and Miku are also done, let us adjourn to your sitting room and investigate the mystery that is Miku."

Miku reluctantly followed him into Miki's living room. "Um... will this be a full medical examination?" she asked. "I get naked in front of Luka and Gumi all the time, but I've only just met you."

"You may remain fully clothed for my examination," Gakupo said, as he opened his briefcase, "but if you prefer to be nude in general, I certainly have no objections."

"Luka, I'm beginning to share your opinion of this guy." Miku watched Gakupo open and start up a laptop computer in his briefcase, and then reach into his doctor's satchel and set out an array of strange antique medical instruments. "Wow. You've got all kinds of toys."

"I employ both the most ancient of sciences and the latest technologies," Gakupo said. "Hold still, please." He picked up each instrument in turn, and held it against Miku's head and body, as if he were taking measurements with it. "Hmm... There definitely is something."

He returned the instruments to his bag, tapped a few numbers into his laptop, and then pulled out a tangle of wires and sensors. "A quick exophenotype electroencephalomyography should give us the answer."

"That sounds like something Miki would say." Miku crossed her eyes to watch Gakupo stick the sensors on her head and face. "Um, Gakupo? I'm willing to experiment with electricity, but I'd rather do it with Luka."

"You are a most pleasingly perverted young lady," Gakupo said with a grin. "These sensors are not powered. But I must ask you not to think about doing such things with Luka. The impulses from mental activity of that nature might overload my equipment."

After applying the remaining sensors to Miku's arms, Gakupo plugged the other end of the sensors' cable into a small box connected to his laptop. "Here we go," he said. He adjusted a few controls on the box, checked his laptop's screen— and gasped.

Miku grimaced. "That doesn't sound good."

"Please remain still, Miku." Gakupo continued to adjust controls while typing one-handed at the laptop with impressive speed. "I've never seen readings like these before! But have no fear, Miku. I believe I have good news for you. I need only confirm it."

He turned back and began to remove the sensors from Miku's skin. "I must ask you to allow me to perform a few more simple tests," Gakupo said, "to confirm Luka's findings and my own hypothesis."

Miku winced as each sensor was peeled away. "Ow. Ow. Ow. What kind of. Ow. Tests. Ow. Gakupo? Ow."

"First, this." Without warning, Gakupo produced what looked like a large knife, and swung it towards Miku. But Miku easily caught the blade flat between her hands without thinking.

Gumi gasped, and Luka shouted angrily. "GAKUPO! Was that necessary?"

"Yes, I'm afraid so. My apologies, Luka. I had to test Miku's reflexes. But don't worry. It was only a parlor trick." Gakupo crumpled up the "knife," revealing it to be made of paper.

And then, Gakupo bowed to Miku. "Please forgive me, Miku. I mean you no harm. And I promise that I won't do anything like that again."

Miku breathed out heavily. "OK. Yeah, Luka said that I had quick reflexes around other... wait a minute. What are you, Gakupo? Are you a supernatural something or other yourself?"

"Me?" Gakupo said with a modest smile. "No, I am nothing special... merely your garden variety immortal samurai. But this is about you, not me."

Next, Gakupo held up a large tuning fork and tapped it. "This test should be much less stressful. Please sing this note to me for a few seconds."

Miku sang the note with perfect pitch, and then she saw that Gakupo was already enthralled by her voice. "Gotcha," she said with amusement.

Gakupo shook his head to clear it. "Indeed you did... I must ask for only one more test. Please kiss Luka."

"WHAT?" Luka shouted. "What does that have to do with determining Miku's true nature?"

"Nothing at all," Gakupo admitted. "I just want to watch Miku kiss you."

Luka face-palmed. "OH, for the LOVE of!..."

"Luka?" said Miku. "It makes me sad to think you would ever refuse to kiss me. I don't care if a pervert wants to watch us or not."

Luka blinked. "...you are serious? Very well. Gakupo, after this, I owe you no favors for examining Miku."

She walked up to Miku, held Miku's shoulders, and kissed Miku passionately. Miku reached up and held Luka's face as they kissed.

And then, Luka stood up again. "I hope you enjoyed that, Gakupo... Er... are you alright?"

Gakupo brushed manly tears from his eyes. "No, Luka, I am not alright. And no, I did not enjoy that at all. That had nothing to do with Miku's identity, but it was still a test. I wanted to see if there was true love in your kiss... and there was."

He bowed to Miku again. "I have lost, Miku. You have won. I had hoped for almost two centuries that Luka might change her mind and love me, but to no avail. You have won her heart."

And then, he bowed to Luka. "You have my best wishes and my apologies. I won't trouble you again with my foolish proposals."

Luka was touched by Gakupo's sudden sincerity. "Oh, Gakupo!... I suppose it is still acceptable to flirt with me from time to time."

Gakupo grinned again. "I'm sure I can find other ways to be annoying... But as for the matter at hand?

"Congratulations, Miku. You're a siren."


	16. The Consultant 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Published 9-Jun-2013; humor/romance; about 2100 words.
> 
> This contains adult themes and adult humor. Reader discretion is advised.

"...a siren?" Miku said. "Oh wow. That's... that's..."

And then, she turned to Gumi. "Help me out here, 'brains'. All I'm coming up with is the red and blue thing on a police car that goes WHOO WHOO WHOO."

"I'm no expert in mythology," Gumi said modestly. "But sirens were beautiful women who lived on small rocky islands, and lured sailors to their deaths with enchanting songs."

"Top of the class," Gakupo said. "Some legends described them as half-bird, half-human, with the wings or the legs of a bird, but that is obviously untrue."

Miku scowled at Gumi. "I don't want to hear one word from you about my skinny legs."

"Wouldn't dream of it," Gumi said with a grin. "But now we know where your 'entrancement' ability came from. Remind me never to get in a boat near you."

"What about her ability to defend herself against other supernatural creatures?" Luka asked. "She is the only entity who has ever successfully resisted me."

"The legends claim that sirens were the daughters of a god and a muse," Gakupo said. "A lineage of that nature suggests many superhuman abilities, and that would be one of them."

"Does that mean that Miku is immortal, like Luka?" asked Gumi.

"It seems quite likely," Gakupo said. "Being the child of a god in legend usually suggests immortality, and my own tests indicate a dramatically extended lifespan."

"Hear that, Luka?" said Miku. "I had already worried about how I'd have to grow old and die, and leave you alone again. But it sounds like you might be stuck with me for quite awhile instead."

"I would be happy to be stuck with you, Miku," said Luka. "I do not think anything would make me happier than to have you by my side forever."

As Luka and Miku embraced, Gakupo turned to Gumi. "I am glad for them, but do these displays of affection not become tiresome after awhile?"

"You get used to it," Gumi said. "And besides, weren't you just repeatedly proposing to Luka yourself?"

"Touché," said Gakupo.

"I still have a question," Miku said. "I always knew I was a special little snowflake, but I still don't understand how any of this is possible in the first place."

"I am intrigued by this as well," Gakupo said. "There were never more than a few sirens in all of mythological history, and according to all of my references, they became extinct centuries ago."

"Isn't it obvious?" Gumi asked Miku. "You were adopted, after all."

"Yeah..." Miku said slowly.

"And wasn't your father in the military? And I think you said that he served in southern Europe for awhile, doing top-secret intelligence work."

"Yeah..." Miku said again.

"And didn't he retire from the military right around the time that he and your mother adopted you?"

"Yeah," a confused Miku said, "but I still don't..."

"Don't worry," Gumi said to Gakupo and Luka. "She'll put it all together pretty soon."

Miku's face suddenly lit up. "OHHHH!"

"NOW she's got it," Gumi said proudly.

"I think my father and I need to have a little talk," Miku thought out loud. "But this time, he's the one who's got some explaining to do."

And then, a still-sleepy Miki walked into the room, having finally awoken after Luka's feeding. "Who's the samurai?" she asked casually.

Gakupo glanced at her, and raised an eyebrow in surprise. "I didn't know you also had a natural-born adept about the place."

"HEY!" said Miku. "Why did I have to go through all those weird tests, if you can tell instantly that Miki is supernatural too?"

"Excuse me for never meeting a siren before!" Gakupo said indignantly. "Sirens are more rare than adepts and vampires put together!"

Gumi repeated this silently to herself, and then raised a hand for attention. "Um, sir? Math doesn't work like that."

"What's an adept?" Miki asked Gakupo.

"An adept walks in eternity," Gakupo said reverently. "She does not see all— apparently, you couldn't see Miku was a siren— but she can see many things that mortals cannot see. And she has a natural proclivity for the mystic arts. You could become the most powerful of all of us."

"Does this mean that all those visions and hallucinations I see are real, after all?" asked Miki. "The maddening geometries folded into the skies, and the desolate gray wastelands of the outer dimensions, and the brutal infinities of nothingness that lie beyond? All that stuff is real?"

"Yes, I'm afraid so," said Gakupo. "You bear a heavy burden— one that will surely drive you insane."

"Actually, I'm way ahead of you." Miki held up a closed fist, and Gakupo obliged her with a "fist-bump."

"Adepts are mostly beyond my own field of knowledge. But please call me later. I can introduce you to good people who can help you." Gakupo handed a business card to Miki, and then shut down his laptop and began to pack up. "This has been a most productive afternoon, but I believe my work here is done."

Gumi raised a hand for attention again. "Gakupo? Before you go? Am I... something special too?"

"Of course," Gakupo said, "You are an especially intelligent, kind and lovely young mortal woman."

"Oh," said Gumi. "OK..." She suddenly hung her head and began to cry.

Gakupo turned back to the others in a panic. "I'm sorry!" he said. "I though I let her down gently!"

"C'mon, Gumi-bear!" said Miku. "I'm still your best friend, you know! Just because I'm not who I thought I was, that doesn't mean I'm not who I still am! Um, I think."

"We are all still your friends," Luka agreed. "This changes nothing between you and I, and as Miku tried to say, it also changes nothing between you and her or Miki."

"And no one actually lives forever," Miki said. "Even if we survive the demise of this planet's sun, there's no escaping the eventual heat death of the entire universe."

"It's still not fair!" Gumi cried. "You three get to be together, and have fun, and love each other, for thousands of years! But I have to grow old and die! It's not fair!"

An uncomfortable silence fell over the room. The others glanced at each other as Gumi wept heart-felt tears.

Luka finally broke the silence. "...Gumi? If you truly desire immortality? I can share it with you."

"Do you mean that you could turn me into another vampire?" Gumi asked through her tears.

"Yes," Luka said. "I have never done this thing, and I meant never to do it. But if immortality for the sake of love and friendship is your heart's true desire, I will do it. 

"However, this is not a decision to be made lightly. Turning is utterly irreversible, and it would be a traumatic experience for both of us. It would be even worse than after we fought the elemental."

"What do you mean?" Gumi asked.

"A human cannot be turned into a vampire while she still lives," Luka said. "To begin with, I would have to kill you."

"Ooh," said Gumi, forgetting her tears. "No, I don't like the sound of that at all."

Gakupo cleared his throat. "Perhaps I should make an offer I have never made before, as well. I have thought of doing this for some time, and if you are Luka's friend, you are a worthy candidate.

"There are at least three paths to immortality. You can be born with it, as with Miku and Miki. You can have it thrust upon you, as with Luka. Or... you can make your own path."

"...you have my attention," Gumi said carefully.

"What is your field of study?" Gakupo asked hopefully.

"Chemical engineering will be my first doctorate," Gumi said.

"Excellent," said Gakupo. "Then you are a scholar, as well. Have you taken lessons in biochemistry?"

"Yes, I had a lot of bio-chem back in high school, and in my first semester of classes here," Gumi said.

"Capital," said Gakupo. "What have you learned about genetics?"

Gumi frowned. "Not much... besides high-school honors biology, all the books in the high school library, and a couple of textbooks that I found lying around here at college and read for fun."

Gakupo smiled wryly. "That is a start." He offered a second business card to Gumi. "Please e-mail your curriculum to me, and I'll choose the best classes for your goal. I can also look up the college library catalog and send you a reading list. And then, I can loan you additional texts from my private library that you will not find anywhere else."

Gumi accepted the card. "Thank you," she said, "but what is all this about?"

"I am self-taught in both ancient and modern sciences related to supernatural biology," Gakupo said. "And I have applied that knowledge with great success, if I do say so myself. I spoke the truth when I told Miku that I am merely human, yet immortal. I am, in fact, a self-made immortal.

"It was not easy. I enjoyed none of the benefits of accumulated research and medical technology that you have available to you now. In fact, I was over eighty years old and nearly on my own death-bed before I achieved immortality for myself. It took several more decades of work to reverse my aging process, and to restore my youth and vigor.

"But, as Miki said, no one actually lives forever. And while my knowledge is obviously not suitable for the general public, I have often thought it would be a shame if I were to perish in an accident, and if everything that I had learned perished with me. So, I'd like to make you my protégé.

"This will not be an easy path, Gumi. It is not without its own dangers. And your key to immortality will be as unique as your own genetic code, and you must find it yourself. However, with my help, I expect you can make yourself immortal, and preserve your body at a permanent physical age of twenty-one years, well before you earn that first doctorate."

Gumi's eyes were wide as saucers. "How can I ever thank you for this?" she asked quietly.

"Well—" Gakupo started to say.

Luka growled. "Careful, Gakupo. I won't let you take advantage of her."

"Luka, please!" Gakupo said indignantly. "She's too young for me, by an order of magnitude! I started to say that I might ask only for your companionship, and perhaps the occasional home-cooked meal, such as I enjoyed today. I have no living family— and now, no romantic prospects— and the greatest curse of immortality is loneliness."

Gumi walked up to Gakupo and hugged him. "Something like this?" she asked.

Gakupo patted her head as if she were his younger sister. "Yes," he said happily, "this would do quite nicely."

—

Gakupo stood at the front door, but paused to say his goodbyes. "It was wonderful to see you again, Luka, and to meet your young friends. I know we haven't kept in touch, but perhaps I could visit more often."

"That depends on how annoying you intend to be," Luka said with an indulgent smile. "Are you sure you won't stay longer? Miki has plenty of room."

"Thank you," Gakupo said, "but I have other previous engagements. I'm going to stop by and see 'Big Al' and Ann while I'm in this part of the world."

"Oh? How is Prometheus?" Luka asked. "It has been some time since I saw him and his bride."

"They were both well, the last I heard," Gakupo said. "I'll let them know you asked after them. Miki and Gumi, we'll talk again soon. And Miku, take care of Luka. She's tougher than she looks, but she still needs love."

"Will do," Miku said. "Thanks for everything."

After Gakupo drove away, Miku closed the door and breathed out heavily. "Wow. A few hours ago, we were three college students and a vampire, but now we're, like, the Supernatural Action Squad."

"Sort of," Gumi said. "We're a vampire, a siren, an adept, and a plain old me."

"Not for long," Miki said. "After you become immortal, I bet you can give yourself lots of scary Science Powers. And you're so smart, it's like you already have a superpower."

"Miki's right," Miku said proudly. "You're not just any big nerd. You're the nerdiest nerd who ever nerded in the history of all nerd-dom."

Gumi giggled. "I suppose I can't deny my own true nature."


	17. Movie Night 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Published 5-Jan-2015; angst/humor/romance; about 2000 words.
> 
> This takes place about a week after the previous chapter.
> 
> This contains adult themes and a bit of gratuitous hurt/comfort. Reader discretion is advised.

Miku bounded down the steps into Miki's basement, having just returned from her final Friday class and the college campus. She began to call out to Luka, but cut herself off and paused at the foot of the steps.

Luka was asleep on the sofa in the open area of the basement. The sofa was just long enough for Luka to lie flat on her back, with the top of her head brushing the inside of the right arm of the sofa, and with her feet flat against the inside of the left arm. Luka had crossed her arms over her chest, like a comic-book vampire in her coffin.

Miku gazed upon her girlfriend with a tender smile and love in her eyes. _She's so beautiful,_ she thought. _...and she's MINE! SHE'S ALL MINE! MWAH HA HA HA HA HA!_

After indulging in a moment of mental megalomania, Miku turned away to her bedroom, and then returned to the sofa with a large thick folded blanket in her arms. _Since she's mine,_ Miku thought, _I need to take care of her. I guess a vampire doesn't really need a blanket, but I'm going to give her one anyway._

The blanket was far too large for the sofa, but Miku carefully draped one side over the back of the sofa, and then unrolled the other half over Luka and down to the floor, carefully tucking Luka in. And then, Miku stood back, crossed her arms, and surveyed her work with satisfaction.

"Thank you," Luka said without moving or opening her eyes.

Miku hung her head and sighed. "Sorry, Luka. I should know by now that you're a light sleeper."

Luka opened her eyes and looked up. "It is alright, Miku. I was only resting after a shift at Miki's coffee-house. I have never spent this much time so close to so many people, even when I was human, and I am not yet used to it. And I have always been an introvert, and dealing with people can be tiring for me."

"It's great that you're trying to fit in with us, but please don't push yourself too hard," Miku said. "Since it's Friday, Gumi and Miki were planning to come down here and watch movies with us, this evening. But would you like for us to leave you alone and let you rest?"

"Oh no," Luka said. "I always enjoy spending time with Gumi and Miki. And I always enjoy being close to you, and spending time with you." She held up a corner of the blanket. "Since you were so thoughtful as to bring me a blanket, would you like to share it with me?"

"Well, goodness, let me think about that," Miku joked. "...OK, I've thought about it. YES, PLEASE."

She carefully climbed onto Luka, and then pulled the blanket back down over them both. "Oh YEAAAAAH," she said in a deep lusty voice, as she settled down against Luka's curves. "Full-contact snuggling like this is the best part of having a girlfriend."

"I am still surprised that you do not find my body cold and my skin clammy," Luka said.

"Please don't worry about that," Miku said. "I'm kinda 'hot-blooded' myself, and you feel nice and cool to me. I'm always glad to bunk with Gumi when she's upset, but she could broil me alive."

"Ah, Miku. My hot-blooded little lover." Luka reached up from under the blanket and brushed hair from Miku's eyes. "Even when we are opposite, we suit each other so well."

They kissed. And then, Miku dropped her head against Luka's shoulder, and purred as Luka continued to stroke her hair.

After a short time, Luka spoke again. "Miku? Not to spoil the moment, but is something troubling you? When we are close like this, I can feel the tension in your body."

"I can't hide anything from you, huh?" Miku said with a sad smile, without raising her head. "Yeah, I'd like to talk to you about some heavy stuff. But that can wait if you're tired."

"Your problems are also my problems, Miku. If they trouble you, they must not wait. And you are in my clutches now, and I have ways of making you talk." Luka drew one fingernail down along Miku's side.

"UNCLE!" a ticklish Miku giggled. "Well, first of all, I'm still getting used to the whole 'siren' thing. I mean, I've always joked about being special, but it's still quite a shock to find out that you're a freakin' DEMIGOD, you know?

"And I'm also still getting used to being immortal. Now that I've had some time to think about it, it's actually terrifying. I haven't even chosen a major or decided on a career, let alone figured out what to do with myself for the next ten thousand years."

"I know that feeling all too well," Luka said. "I must admit that, when I was first turned into a vampire, I thought of taking my own life, rather than searching for a reason to live for millenia. I trust that you have not had such foolish thoughts?"

"Oh no," Miku said. "I have too much to live for. And I don't have search for it. I'm literally lying on top of it. Oh Luka, I wish I could have been there for you back then, like you're here for me now."

"You must not feel guilty about that," Luka said sternly. "You have scolded me for feeling guilty about things beyond my control, and rightly so. You must not make that same mistake."

"Fair enough," Miku said. "Anyway, I'm grateful for Gakupo's help, but I wish that he could have told us more about me. I still don't know much about what I am or what I can do. I just hope that I don't accidentally smite somebody, or start a plague of locusts, or something."

Luka giggled. "I find that unlikely," she said. "Your case was also new to Gakupo. But I expect that he will conduct further research to satisfy his own curiosity as well as yours, and that he will quickly pass on anything that he is able to learn. He can be incredibly annoying, but I must admit that he is also quite dependable when it matters. 

"And we have not yet spoken to your father about these revelations. If you are troubled by them, we should do this soon. Your father might be able to tell us much more than Gakupo could."

Miku grimaced. "Yeah... that's the other thing. Thanksgiving is coming up in a few weeks, and Gumi and I have always spent it with my parents. Dad called me during lunch today, and invited me and Gumi back home for Thanksgiving dinner again. And you and Miki are also invited."

"How wonderful," Luka said. "I would be honored to meet your parents, Miku. And this will be the perfect opportunity for you to talk about these matters with your father."

"I wish it could be that easy," Miku said quietly. "But my mother will be there too."

"...ah," Luka said, as she remembered what Miku had said about her mother. "Yes, it would be easier for you if we did not have to deal with that issue at the same time."

"I'm sure she's still hoping that I'll bring a boyfriend home," Miku said. "I'll do my best not to start any arguments. But if she says anything bad about you, I'm not gonna let it slide. And it's going to be even more awkward when we sit down to dinner, since she likes to cook and you can't eat anything."

"Hmm," said Luka. "Perhaps Gakupo can help us with that. I shall call him again and ask him if there is any way that I can consume food, even temporarily. And if not, I would not mind eating with your mother and regurgitating the food later, just to keep up appearances. I would hate to waste the food, but regurgitation is honestly not that unpleasant for a vampire."

"I still don't like it," Miku said. "Maybe we can think of an excuse for your not eating that Mom will believe. She isn't stupid, but she can be naive. 

"And since I'm pouring out my heart to you, there's still something else about my father. Um... Ha ha. Sorry. This is hard for me to talk about."

Luka remained silent, but she gave Miku an encouraging hug.

Miku took a deep breath. "You know that I've always been really close to my father. I could always talk to him about almost anything. We even talked about 'the birds and the bees', and womens' health, and stuff like that, especially after I came out and grew away from my mother. But Dad never liked to talk about my adoption. When I asked him where I came from, or who my birth parents were, he always changed the subject.

"And when we talked on the phone today, I couldn't stop thinking about that. He never told me that I wasn't human, Luka. I mean, he's never lied to me, and maybe he thought he was protecting me, but... I'm an adult now. He should have told me when I turned eighteen, or at the very latest, before I left for college. But he never told his ONLY CHILD that she wasn't HUMAN.

"I've always had friends, but before I met you, the only people I could really trust were my father and Gumi. And now I have you, and Miki too, and Gakupo seems like someone I could trust. But it hurts me to think that I've lost one of the few people whom I could trust. It hurts so bad to think that I might not be able to trust my father any more. It hurts... so bad, Luka..."

As Miku fought to keep her composure, Luka felt tension build up in her shoulders. Luka suddenly pulled the blanket over Miku's head and her own, and then she held a hand to Miku's surprised face.

"...that is indeed 'some heavy stuff'," Luka said quietly. "I could try to reassure you, but I do not think that you need reassurance. I think that you need a 'security blanket' and a shoulder to lean on. Please know that you can share a blanket with me and lean on my shoulder whenever you want and for as long as you need. And I know that you are not one to cry openly, but if you need a shoulder to cry on in private, you have only to ask."

Miku stared blankly at Luka, and then she smiled weakly. "I, uh, hope you, uh, mean that..." she stammered.

And then, Miku pushed her face down into Luka's waiting shoulder. As Luka expected, she didn't cry openly, but Luka still heard the occasional sniffle.

"As you once said to me," Luka said, "this is what girlfriends are for."

—

After some time, Luka spoke quietly again. "Are you feeling better now, Miku?"

Miku sniffled one more time, and then she raised her head and rubbed her eyes. "Yeah... sorry, did I lie on you for too long and cut off your circulation?"

"No," an amused Luka said, "you are forgetting that I have no circulation to cut off. Rather, I can hear Gumi's and Miki's footsteps on the floor above us. I believe they are about to come down the steps and join us."

"Then it's time to be 'Team Leader' again." Miku sat up, rubbed her face again, and then lightly slapped her cheeks a couple of times. "Whew. Being emotional takes a lot out of you, even in private. I don't know where Gumi gets the energy to do it openly."

Luka sat up beside her. "I promise that I shall not speak of this with anyone else," she said solemnly. "I am happy that you trust me, and I will do my best to keep your trust."

Miku tugged at the blanket. "Mind if we stay under our 'security blanket'?"

"Not at all." Luka snuggled up to Miku and pulled the blanket up to their chins. "I enjoy the extra security myself."


	18. Movie Night 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Published 5-Jan-2015; humor/romance; about 2000 words.
> 
> This part ran short, and so I added a first scene with Luka's vampire nemesis (she was mentioned back in part 3).
> 
> This contains brief nudity, another perverted penalty game, and gratuitous maniacal laughter. Reader discretion is advised.

Gumi and Miki walked down the basement steps and into view. Gumi was carrying movies in rental cases, another pizza and a six-pack of water. Miki followed her with a huge plastic bowl of popcorn and a few apples and oranges.

"...and that's why I always wash my carrots in private." Gumi finished a story on the last step, and then stopped at the sight of Miku and Luka sharing a blanket on the sofa.

"You two are naked under that blanket, aren't you," Gumi grumbled.

"Good idea, Gumi!" Miku winked at Luka, and then she began to writhe wildly under the blanket. "We're not naked now, but we soon WILL be!"

With an apologetic smile, Luka quickly and quietly followed her girlfriend's lead.

"That was a QUESTION, not a SUGGESTION!" an exasperated Gumi said.

Miku and Luka began to throw their clothing over their shoulders, like the spray of a snow blower clearing a drift. "Gumi, you're talking to a RELENTLESS SEX MACHINE now," Miku said proudly. "If the question includes 'naked', then the answer is 'YES'!"

Gumi set down her things by the basement television, and then turned to face Miku and Luka with her arms crossed. "If we were back in our dorm room, I'd consider getting nekkid as another futile gesture of protest. But we're Miki's guests—" Gumi gestured towards an embarrassed Miki. "—and I was foolishly hoping you would at least pretend to be civilized during our first movie night with her."

Miku flung her unmentionables aside and grinned at Gumi. "Too late."

Gumi face-palmed. "Fine. As your senior harem member, I'm issuing a veto. Either you two put your clothes back on, or else Miki and I are going back upstairs..."

A deeply disturbing smile came to Gumi's face. "...OR you have to play the penalty game that I just thought of. Naked, together, ninety-minute minimum."

"Ooh! This just got interesting!" Miku turned to Luka. "How about it, Luka? I'm up for some movie-length light humiliation if you are."

"You have done so much for me," Luka said solemnly. "I would follow you through the very gates of hell. And the only thing that excites me more than being submissive TO you is being submissive WITH you."

"Luka, that was really amazing," Gumi said nervously, "but this is only a friendly penalty game."

"Oh," said Luka. "Sorry."

"Still, you heard the lady," Miku said to Gumi. "We'll take "Door Number Three'."

"OK, you asked for it... Um, do you need to use the bathroom before we start?"

"Yeah, I could go. Thanks. Be right back." Without any hesitation, the naked Miku threw her blanket aside, jumped up, and trotted across the basement to the bathroom in the corner. Mercifully, she closed its door behind her.

"AY YI YI." Gumi held her poor head. "Sorry, Miki. I put ideas in Miku's head, and then I got carried away and made this weirder."

Miki's face was as red with embarrassment as her hair. "Thuh— that's OK," she stammered. "I'm weird in my own way. I just haven't got used to Miku's type of weirdness."

"Sorry, Miki," Gumi said again, "but I'm afraid there's no getting used to Miku."

The toilet flushed, and them Miku walked up and struck a naked pose. "Ready," she said.

Gumi groaned. "Luka, please stand up and hold your blanket around that idiot. Face-to-face, right up against her. Yeah, like that."

As Luka complied, Gumi grabbed the blanket. "Now, hold your arms up over your heads. Miki, help me wrap this blanket around them, under their arms, as tightly as we can."

Miku involuntarily squirmed against Luka as their bodies were pressed together. "I'm not seeing much of a penalty here, Gumi."

"I'm not done yet." After a single wrap, Gumi paused. "Now, lower your arms. Don't worry about losing your balance. Miki and I will hold you up."

"Now I see where you're going with this," Miku said. "We won't be able to use our hands because our arms will be wrapped up between layers."

Gumi and Miki finished wrapping up their friends. "Luka, lean back and let us guide you down onto the sofa... and voila. You're all wrapped up like 'blanket sushi' and stuck on the sofa."

Now lying on Luka again, Miku found that she could not move at all. "Well done, Gumi! I might be the most frequently naked member of our team, but you're definitely the most perverted member."

"Thanks, I think," Gumi said with a grin. "Of course, this is all make-believe, since Luka could easily tear through that blanket."

Luka looked directly into Miku's eyes. "Do you want me to tear through this blanket and free us, Miku?"

"Not at all," Miku said. "If you're still OK with this penalty, I'm enjoying it on several different levels."

Luka turned her head to Gumi. "Oh no. I am trapped. I cannot move. Someone. Anyone. Help me."

Gumi giggled at Luka's unconvincing acting. "You made your bed, Luka. Now you have to lie in it."

"I'm also glad that Luka and I are safely wrapped up here on the sofa," Miku said, "because I regret to inform you that 'The Floor Is Now Lava'."

"Fortunately for me," Gumi said proudly, "I happen to be wearing my imaginary mechanical exo-skeleton constructed from reinforced unobtanium. It'll take more than a little 'floor lava' to stop me."

Miki sighed sadly. "I'm standing in imaginary red-hot lava, and I don't have an imaginary mechanical exo-skeleton. I HATE it when this happens."

"Don't worry, Miki," said Gumi. "I'm protecting you with a projected force-field bubble. That takes a lot of power, but my imaginary exo-skeleton's batteries should last until the 'floor lava' game is over."

"Cool," said Miki. "Thanks for saving me from an imaginary horrific scalding death."

"It would seem Gumi has easily defeated your imaginary lava," Luka said to Miku.

"Apparently so," Miku agreed. "And the moral of the story is, never try to out-nerd a big nerd like Gumi."

"Just for that, you're staying wrapped up for an extra thirty minutes," Gumi declared.

Miku wriggled against Luka happily. "Thank you, Mistress Gumi. May I have another? By the way, Luka, I'm surprised that you're familiar with the 'floor lava' game."

"It is an older game than you might think," a nostalgic Luka said. "I grew up long before video games and the Internet were invented, and such games were all we had."

"Speaking of technology," Gumi said, "since this was supposed to be a movie night, it might be a good idea to start a movie at some point."

Miku wriggled against Luka again. "It's gonna be difficult to concentrate on a movie like this, Gumi."

"Well, try to be quiet while you slowly work yourself into a frenzy of sexual frustration," Gumi said as she put in a disc, "so that Miki and I CAN concentrate on the movie."

"And if I can't," Miku snarked, "will you duct-tape my mouth shut?"

"Don't tempt me," Gumi snarked back. "I've always wanted to do that anyway."

—

As the movie's end credits rolled, Gumi turned back to the sofa. "Well, THAT movie was a complete waste of time, wasn't it.... oops."

Both Luka and Miku were asleep. Miku's head was slightly turned, but she had found a comfortable resting place against Luka's face and neck.

"I hate to wake them up to 'unroll' them," Gumi whispered to Miki, "but we shouldn't leave them alone like that all night."

"Want to sleep here?" Miki asked. "I can get a futon and more blankets."

"Yeah. Thanks. Sorry to cut our first movie night short." Gumi turned off the television and moved the left-over food out of the way, and then she helped Miki spread the futon and blankets in front of the sofa.

Gumi slid under the blankets, and then looked up to see Miki still standing over her. "Whassup?" Gumi asked with a smile.

Miki fidgeted. "Um... I know we're not a couple like Miku and Luka, and I don't need to sleep all night, but... um... could I?..."

Gumi answered without any hesitation. "Sure, jump in," she said. "We can have a slumber party instead."

Miki quickly joined Gumi under the blankets. And then, she squirmed up against Gumi and pushed her face into Gumi's chest.

Gumi raised an eyebrow. "Make yourself at home down there," she said unnecessarily. "No offense, Miki, but are you sure you're asexual?"

"You just feel good," Miki said softly. "I barely remember my mother, and my father wasn't very affectionate with me. This is the first time I've ever had 'snuggle privileges' with anybody."

"Oh," Gumi said. "Well, I guess I get to be 'Aunt Gumi' sooner that I expected. C'mere, you." She hugged the smaller girl tightly.

After a tender moment, Miki spoke again. "Hey, Gumi?"

"Hmm?" Gumi said.

"Hurry up and become immortal as soon as you can, OK?" an emotional Miki whispered. "This is the the happiest I've ever been, living with all three of you, and I don't want to lose any of you."

Gumi gave Miki another maternal squeeze. "Got it. I'll see what I can do."

—

A woman with long platinum-blond hair and an elegant ankle-length dress knocked at the open wooden doors of an old-fashioned sitting room half a world away.

"EN-TAH," the lone occupant of the room responded in a theatrical soprano.

The woman walked into the room, which was richly furnished with bookshelves and curio cabinets, dimly-lit chandeliers, and a tall velvet-lined chair facing a small fireplace with a low cozy fire. The occupant of the chair was not visible from the doorway, except for one feminine black-gloved hand holding a wine glass half-full of what might have been a fine port... or blood.

"Reconnaissance report from Lola, Milady." The woman handed a wax-sealed envelope to the occupant of the chair, who accepted it in her free hand.

"Thank you, Miriam." Her mistress briefly fumbled with the envelope, and then sighed and set down her drink to open the envelope with both hands.

"You know," Miriam said, "if you would use a computer or a smart-phone, Lola could send encrypted e-mail instead."

"Modern technology is dreadfully dull and utilitarian... like you." Miriam's mistress quickly read Lola's letter. "...how wonderful! Lola reports that my old friend Luka has made some new friends and settled down at a permanent address."

"Really?" a genuinely surprised Miriam said. "Luka has always kept to herself and minded her own business, unlike certain people I could name—"

"Tut tut!" Miriam's mistress tut-tutted. "We simply must congratulate Luka on her new domestic lifestyle. And by 'we', I mean you, Lola, and Leon."

"By sending her some flowers and a nice card?" Miriam asked hopefully. "Or maybe a small assortment of scented candles and bath soaps?"

"No," Miriam's mistress said impatiently, "by kidnapping her friends and doing unspeakably strange and perverted things to them."

Miriam hung her head and sighed. "I was afraid of something like that. Poor Luka. Poor Luka's friends. Poor me. Poor everybody."

"Please prepare our danger-filled tropical-island villain's lair in the south Pacific for our guests," Miriam's mistress said.

Miriam blinked. "Um, Milady? We don't have a danger-filled tropical-island villain's lair in the south Pacific."

"Then go BUY one!" Miriam's mistress shouted. "Honestly! Do I have to think of everything around here?"

"Honestly? I wish you wouldn't think of anything around here." Miriam said sadly. "Oh well. It's a buyers' market for tropical lairs now. I expect we can find a 'fixer-upper' on the cheap."

"That's the spirit!" Miriam's mistress jumped to her feet. "And now, Miriam, join me in some maniacal laughter! MWAH HA HA HA HA HA HA HA! MWAH HA HA * _hack_ * * _gasp_ * * _choke_ * * _cough cough_ *" 

A concerned Miriam patted her mistress' back, and then picked up her discarded drink and offered it to her. "Please mind your throat, Milady. You're performing at the Royal Opera House next week, you know."

"Sorry," said the mad vampire currently known as Prima.


	19. Customer Service 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Published 1-Apr-2018; humor/romance; ~2100 words.
> 
> Nope, it's not an April Fools joke. This is still an open-ended serial. I don't have a good excuse for the hiatus— it's just been one thing after another.
> 
> This takes place ~~MORE THAN THREE YEARS~~ another week after the previous chapter.
> 
> This contains adult themes and weird adult humor. Reader discretion is advised.

Miku had parked her car near Miki's coffee-house in order to pick up Luka at the end of her evening shift. As Miku walked up to the recessed entrance steps, Miki walked up to her from the opposite direction.

"Oh, hello, Miki," said a surprised Miku. "Did you leave Luka to work by herself?"

"Only for a few minutes while I ran a quick errand." Miki held up a small paper bag. "I ran down to the supermarket to buy fresh batteries for the fire alarms in our house. I was careless and let them expire while I was living alone, but I can't do that now."

"That's thoughtful of you," Miku said, "and it's very kind of you to call it 'OUR' house."

"You're only tenants in name. You're my family now, and _mi casa es su casa_ ," Miki said happily. "If we DO have a fire, I want the alarms to wake everybody up, so that we can all be together when the flames surround us and we all die a long slow unimaginably painful death."

An amused Miku gave Miki a quick side-hug. "Never change, Miki... So, can Luka already work by herself? She only started a couple of weeks ago."

Miki walked down the steps and opened the coffee-house doors. "Almost," Miki said. "She can use all the coffee machines, but she's still weak with modern technology, and so she has trouble with the cash register... Oh. See for yourself."

They paused by the front door and watched Luka struggle to ring up a drink for a VERY patient customer. She swallowed heavily and gathered up all of her nerve, reached out with trembling hand, held an index finger over the register keypad, and, ever so slowly and carefully, pressed a single button.

* _beep_ *

Luka gasped and jumped back, and then smiled a big smile when the register failed to explode. Her customer also smiled at her cute and innocent reaction, any impatience with her incompetence completely forgotten.

"It's a sexist thing to say," Miki whispered to Miku, "but when you're as beautiful as Luka, you can get away with murder."

"We even let her suck our blood every third day," Miku agreed.

—

Miki had taken over at the till so that Luka could leave work with Miku. Luka thanked her and went to the back room to change out of her uniform, and Miku followed Luka into the back room.

"So, are you ready to go spend all the money you've made so far?" Miku asked eagerly.

Luka slowly pulled off her barista's bow tie, and then she leaned towards Miku slightly as she unbuttoned her blouse. "I suppose so," she said. "Shopping for fun is new to me. I have only stolen discarded clothing up to now."

"I'm also looking forward to having someone to shop with," Miku said as she watched Luka pull off her blouse. "Gumi doesn't have any patience for clothes shopping. She just grabs the first nerdy T-shirt she sees off the rack and heads for the exit."

Luka thrust one hip at Miku and slowly unzipped her skirt, allowing it to slide to the floor. "If you would enjoy my company," she said, "then I am more than happy to accompany you."

Miku licked her lips suggestively. "By the way, I also appreciate the gratuitous strip-tease."

Luka stood up straight, wearing only her underwear. "I was hoping that you would," she said. "So, do you think that the store will have clothing in my size?"

"I'd bet my life on it," a jealous Miku said as she eyed her girlfriend. "You have an inhumanly perfect figure. It's like I'm dating a mannequin."

"Do you think so?" Luka struck a pose, and then she froze in place and became perfectly still.

"...oh wow!" Miku said. "It really IS like I'm dating a mannequin. How do you do that?"

Luka relaxed. "A vampire's muscles do not tire, and a vampire does not actually have to breathe. I need only breathe in air to talk," she said. "If you would like for me to be your mannequin, go ahead and 'pose' me."

Luka froze again, and then Miku reached out and positioned her arms. "...oh WOW," Miku said again.

Luka relaxed again. "I think you might be enjoying this too much," she said smugly.

"Another day, another fetish," a resigned Miku said.

—

Miku pulled into a parking spot in a mostly empty strip mall, and then she and Luka walked up to the front door of a brightly-lit clothing store with huge red and yellow sale banners in the windows.

Luka looked over the sale banners. "Is this truly a 'Midnight Madness' sale?" she asked. "The time is not yet eleven o'clock, and I do not see any madness in the immediate vicinity."

"It was madness to think that they'd ever find enough businesses to fill this strip mall," Miku said as she looked around the parking lot. "But that just means more bargains for us."

Miku opened the door and invited Luka in, and then looked around the large and brightly lit storeroom floor with a big happy smile. Luka timidly followed her inside.

"Relax, Luka," said Miku. "We're here to have fun."

"I have never been in a place like this— not even on campus," Luka said nervously. "I am grateful that we came when it was not crowded."

"Do you want to leave?" a concerned Miku asked.

Luka paused and calmed herself. "...no. You are right. We are here to have fun. But... um... please stay with me."

"Of course." Miku gave Luka a hug, and then, a kiss.

"HEY!! Could you NOT DO THAT in here!? I don't care if you're gay OR straight— PDAs are just GROSS!!"

Miku and Luka turned to see a tiny girl with a long blond side-tail standing behind the idle checkout counter and tapping out texts on her mobile.

"Oh, sorry, um..." Miku glanced at the girl's name-tag. "...Neru? Sorry. Where is the clothing on sale?"

Without looking up from her mobile, Neru pointed. "That would be directly under the REALLY BIG SIGNS that read 'CLOTHING ON SALE'."

"Ah," Miku said awkwardly. "Um... where are the changing rooms?"

Neru pointed in a slightly different direction, again without looking up. "THOSE would be directly under the OTHER REALLY BIG SIGNS that read 'CHANGING ROOMS'."

"Ah," Miku said again. "Well, um, thanks for your help—"

"And don't have sex in the changing room," Neru said bluntly.

"What?" said Miku with a nervous smile. "We weren't going to do that."

"Yeah, right," Neru said. "Since that's a complete lie, I'll say it again— don't have sex in the changing room."

"But— but—" a flustered Miku stammered. "Why do you think we would—"

"Need I remind you that you were just SUCKING FACE by the FRONT DOOR!?" Neru snapped. "Or that you're STILL holding hands!?"

"Neru, PLEASE," Miku said. "My, um, friend is somewhat, um, agoraphobic—"

"Then WHY did you DRAG her into a BIG CLOTHING STORE!?" Neru yelled.

"Well," Miku admitted in a small sad voice, "I have been known to be a teensy bit pushy and self-centered on rare occasions—"

"More like a spoiled little princess who came to college and picked up some poor townie, thinking she's being all special," Neru said smugly. "And at first, you're still prim and proper, taking her out on coffee-shop dates, and going 'are you into girls? 'Cause I'm into girls!' And soon enough, you're kicking out your roommate so that you and the townie can Explore Your Feelings, and after THAT, you bring out the ropes and the 'toys', thinking you have something AMAZING that NO ONE ELSE HAS EVER HAD— just like ALL THE OTHER freshmen and townies before you."

Miku and Luka stared at Neru like two deer caught in the headlights of an oncoming box truck.

"I've seen it DOZENS of times," Neru declared, "and it ALWAYS ends with sex in the changing room, which is why I'm telling you NOT TO HAVE SEX IN THE CHANGING ROOM."

"Nope!" Miku lied. "That's not us at all! We're only going into a small private room together, and watching each other take off her clothes, and.. and..."

"NOT. HAVING. SEX. IN. THE. CHANGING. ROOM," Neru growled, finishing her sentence for her.

"I'm not sure I like your attitude," Miku said.

"I'M not sure I like your FACE," Neru replied.

"I just started working at a coffee-house," Luka said, "and though I still have much to learn, I must say that you have remarkably poor manners for a person in customer service."

Neru made a rude gesture. "And THIS is how much I CARE."

"May I ask exactly why you are so concerned about customers having sex in the changing room?" Luka asked. "Pardon my saying, but you do not seem like a person who is overly concerned with Codes Of Conduct."

"The janitor only mops the floors," Neru said. "I have to clean the changing rooms myself. Would YOU want to wipe down the bench and the walls after who does who-knows-what with who-knows-who in there?"

"You have a point," Luka agreed.

"And DON'T get me STARTED about BIG GREASY BUTT-PRINTS on the changing-room mirrors!" Neru said.

"OK, we won't," Miku said.

—

After picking out two armfuls of clothing on sale, a subdued Luka and Miku self-consciously entered one of the changing rooms.

"Let's just get a few things and get out of here," Miku said as she began to undress. "You still need something nice to wear to Thanksgiving dinner, but we still have time to wait for another sale at a store that isn't staffed by a sociopath."

Luka didn't answer. "Hey, are you sure you're OK?" Miku asked. "Seriously, if you're not comfortable with this, please tell me and we'll leave now."

"No, I am at ease now," Luka said. "But I cannot stop thinking about what Neru said to us... about us."

"Want me to slap her around some?" Miku said half-seriously. "I know you're usually the Team Miku strong-woman, but she's even more scrawny than I am, and I'm pretty sure I could take her."

Luka giggled. "No, though I must admit that I would enjoy watching that. No, I fear that she was right."

Miku blinked in surprise. "Do you really want to have sex in the changing room?"

"To be honest, I would not say 'no'," Luka said with another giggle. "But... after I became your girlfriend, I moved into Miki's house with you, and then I got a job. I have been trying to fit in with your life, and to be as much of a normal girlfriend as I can.

"But Neru 'read' us both so easily. I do not agree with her condescending characterizations, but let us face it— there was some truth to it. I did not think that I would become so normal, so predicable, so... well, so dull... and so quickly, no less.

"Miku, am I doing the right thing? I want to give you as much of a normal life as I can... but the LAST thing I would want to do is to BORE you."

Miku set her clothing aside, and then she held Luka's hands. "Luka, the LAST thing YOU'LL ever be is BORING.

"I want you to be happy. If you want to try to be a normal girlfriend for me— whatever 'normal' is— and if doing that makes you happy, then please do it. Your doing anything at all for me makes me happy.

"If coffee-shop dates, and sex and snuggles, and even the penalty games, are dull and predictable and normal, then I'm perfectly happy with being normal. Normal isn't automatically bad, and it isn't necessarily boring.

"I think the most important thing is to keep talking about our relationship— just like we are now. We obviously won't always agree about everything, but we might be together for a really, REALLY long time, and I don't want any unspoken disagreements or resentments to linger between us."

"Thank you, Miku." Luka held up Miku's hands and kissed them. "I shall try to be open with my feelings— just like you were now."

"Well!" Miku said. "I'm in a better mood already. After we're done here, let's go somewhere for a late bite to eat, and we can talk some more."

"I would like that," Luka said mischievously, "but first— we COULD have sex in the changing room—"

"NO!!" Neru shrieked from across the store. "THAT is the ONE THING you PERVERTS CAN'T DO!!"

Miku and Luka froze. "...huh," Miku said. "She has good hearing."

"But YOU obviously DON'T," Neru yelled, "and so I'll say it AGAIN— DON'T HAVE SEX IN THE CHANGING ROOM!!"


	20. Customer Service 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Published 1-Apr-2018; humor/romance; ~2100 words.
> 
> "Everybody In Gensokyo Is Gay," but Haku/Neru is a serviceable ship.
> 
> This contains adult themes and weird adult humor. Reader discretion is advised.

Miku and Luka walked into an open-24-hours family restaurant near the strip mall, and sat side-by-side in a corner booth, with Miku taking the outside seat. "Is this OK?" Miku asked.

"Yes," Luka said confidently. "This dining area is much smaller and less harshly lit than the clothing store, and it looks like we have the area to ourselves."

"Imma get me some pie," Miku said eagerly as she flipped to the dessert page of the table menu. "...ooh, key lime pie sounds good. Luka, can I get you anything besides tea?"

"No, tea will be fine," Luka said. "But if you get a slice of pie with whipped cream, I might take a dab of cream, if you do not mind my fingers."

"If you like whipped cream, and if you can eat it even though you're a vampire, then we should buy some 'for fun'," Miku said with a wink as a waitress walked up. "And Luka? You can do ANYTHING YOU WANT with your fingers, IF YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN—"

"* _AHEM_!!* Luka cleared her throat, shook her head and pointed at the waitress.

Miku turned to the waitress, but trailed off when she saw the waitress' chest. "Sorry, we were just flir— fluh— guh—"

"My name is Haku, and I'll be taking care of you tonight," the waitress said sweetly. "Do you know what you want?"

Miku couldn't take her eyes away from Haku's chest as she answered Haku. "Yeah, I know what *I* want— OUCH!!"

Luka had pinched Miku under the table. "I do beg your pardon," Luka said to Haku. "Two hot teas and a slice of key lime pie with extra whipped cream, please. We will share the pie."

"Coming right up," a visibly embarrassed Haku said as she collected the menus.

Luka watched Haku walk away, and then turned back to Miku. "What has gotten INTO you?" she said sternly. "You cannot stare at waitresses like that!"

"Did you SEE her BOOBS!?" a drooling Miku said. "How could you NOT stare at them!? They're MAGNIFICENT!!"

Luka face-palmed. "Are you a middle-aged man!? I have never seen you act like this before, and I do not like it!"

"Well, I've never seen boobs like those before," Miku said. "I didn't bring a camera or my mobile with me, and so I need to stare at them until I can burn them into my memory."

"How would you like it if I were working at the coffee-house, and some perverted customer stared at ME like that?" Luka asked.

"I'd be insanely jealous, of course," Miku said. "But I know that you could take care of... Wait a minute. Are YOU jealous of her? I've never known you to mind when I looked at other girls."

"Like I SAID," Luka growled, "I have never seen or heard you act in such a depraved manner."

Miku bit her lip. "Hey, Luka? I'm really sorry. I really didn't mean to put her over you. You're crazy beautiful, and BOTH of you are totally out of MY league."

Luka sighed, and then smiled. "Well, that is not the primary reason for my objection, but perhaps I did over-react. I should know by now that you are not shy about your attraction to other women. And there is no harm in admiring the beauty of others, as long as one is discreet and respectful."

"So we're good?" Miku asked hopefully. "You're not mad anymore?"

"Yes, I—" Luka started to say.

"Cool." Miku turned away from Luka to peek into the kitchen. "In that case, lemme check her out some more."

"WHY YOU LITTLE!—" Luka cried as she turned on Miku.

—

A minute or two later, Haku returned to the dining area with a tray. "Here we go... um, should I give you a moment and come back later?"

Luka had pulled Miku's body around to hold Miku's face in her own chest with inescapable vampire strength. "[* _bbl bbl bbl_ *](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZF-U9nL9Ios&t=0m33s)" said Miku.

"Miku?" said Luka as she loosened her grip slightly. "Do you have something to say to the nice lady?"

Miku looked up at Haku with big sad shiny eyes. "I'd like to apologize sincerely for any offense I might have caused," she said weakly.

Haku giggled. "Well, it's not so creepy when it's a cute little thing like you staring at me. But I do appreciate the thought."

"You must be popular with both men and women, huh," Miku said as Luka released her and she sat back in the booth.

"Not really," Haku said modestly. "My premature gray hair makes me look twenty years older than I am, and I'm a recovering alcoholic."

Miku grimaced. "Sorry again," she said. "Still, you're really nice. You're so much nicer than that awful girl working at the clothing store."

Haku blinked in surprise. "Was she a short slight girl with a blond side-tail and a mobile glued to her hand?"

"Um, yes?" Miku said nervously.

"Oh, that's my room-mate and my best friend," Haku said cheerfully. "Small world, isn't it?"

A mortified Miku slouched in her seat. "If it's alright with both of you," she said miserably, "I'm just going to stop talking forever."

"No, no," Haku said. "You're absolutely right. She's always been good to me, but she really is awful to everybody else she meets."

"A pity that she works in customer service," Luka thought out loud.

"Neither of us went to college," Haku said, "and we have to take whatever work we can get to pay the rent. This is a popular restaurant, and I've been able to keep this job for a few years, but poor Neru has lost three jobs in the last two years. And from what I've heard, that clothing store isn't doing very well."

"That is not an excuse for her attitude," Luka said, "but it does explain some things."

"For what it's worth," Miku said earnestly, "I hope it all works out for both of you."

"Well, thanks very much." Haku looked around her to make sure no one was watching. "And just to show there are no hard feelings..." She leaned down at the waist and gave Miku a peck on the cheek, and then, she leaned forward to give Luka another peck— while giving both women a long close look at her cleavage.

And then, Haku stood back up and gave both women a flirtatious wink. "Enjoy your pie," she said. "I hope to see you again."

"Same here," a stunned Miku said as Haku walked away again.

"...Miku?" said an equally stunned Luka.

"Yes?" said Miku.

"She DOES have magnificent boobs," Luka said quietly.

"I told you so," Miku said.

—

Haku's shift ended shortly after Miku and Luka left. After returning to the small apartment she shared with Haku, she found Neru still awake, curled up on their couch and watching television.

"How was work?" Neru asked as Haku sat next to her.

"Good," Haku said. "The pinkette and tealette stopped by the restaurant after they went clothes shopping."

"No foolin'?" Neru asked. "They were all over each other at the clothing store. Did they try to have public sex in the restaurant?"

Haku giggled. "No, but they were obviously crazy about each other. And the tealette even flirted with me."

Neru stole a glance at the well-endowed Haku. "It must be nice," she muttered.

"Aw, c'mon." Haku gave her smaller friend a headpat. "If you'd just smile once in awhile, you'd be surprised at how much attention you'd get."

"I tried smiling once," Neru said. "My face still hurts from the strain."

Haku giggled again. "Well, I wouldn't want you to strain yourself."

They watched television for awhile after that, but neither of them were paying attention to the TV. They were lost in similar thoughts.

"Hey, Neru?" Haku suddenly said bluntly. "We're never going to be in love like them, are we?"

"Probably not," Neru said. "Neither of us have ever been so in love as they obviously were... and we probably never will be."

They watched television for awhile again.

And then, Haku hesitantly spoke again. "Um... do you remember what we talked about on my 25th birthday? We said that if both of us were still single when I turned thirty, we should try to become a couple ourselves."

"I'm glad I wasn't the only one thinking about that," Neru said without looking away from the TV.

Haku blushed. "I'm not thirty yet, so, um... would you like to move the deadline up to today?"

Neru looked away from the TV and into the soft warm eyes of her one and only true friend.

"...yeah, alright," Neru said. "Why not."

Haku held an arm around the smaller Neru's shoulders, and then Neru leaned against her.

"We're going to regret this, aren't we?" Haku said sadly. "We've been friends for so long..."

"Maybe," Neru said as she huggled Haku. "But we won't know until after we try."

"That's true," Haku said. "We might regret that we didn't do this sooner instead."

"Less talk, more sexual experimentation," Neru said bluntly. "That is, unless you wanna keep this platonic?"

"Nope," Haku said. She suddenly spun round, grabbed Neru's face, and kissed Neru deeply enough to count her tonsils.

As she gently but firmly pushed Neru down onto the couch, Neru reached out, scrabbled for her mobile, and put it in airplane mode.

—

Miku and Luka had both slept in the next morning. After a late breakfast of a toasted bagel and some blood (respectively), they returned to Luka's basement bedroom to look over the clothing they had bought the night before.

"I was planning to spend all day today trying on new clothes," a disappointed Miku said, "but we hardly bought anything compared to what I usually buy."

"We could still dress up in the clothes you already have," Luka suggested. "I doubt we could get through all of your clothes in one weekend."

"Yeah, but I've already worn all that stuff," Miku said.

"*I* haven't," Luka said.

Miku eyed her girlfriend's figure yet again. "I don't mind," she said, "but all of my things would be tight on you."

"You say that as if it were a BAD thing," Luka said seductively.

Miku's eyes widened— and then she smiled. "Go for it," she said. "And pick out what you want and surprise me."

Luka went into Miku's bedroom and loudly rummaged through her closet. "Oh HO," Luka called out. "Let us begin with a bang, as it were."

And then, Luka pranced back into her room— wearing Miku's cheerleader uniform. It just barely fit, and Luka had left its zippers open at the chest and hip.

"That has GOT to be the sexiest thing I've EVER seen you wear," Miku said reverently.

Just then, Gumi knocked loudly at the open doorway to the basement stairway. "Is it OK if I come down there?" she shouted.

"Yes," Miku shouted back. "And just wait until you see what Luka is wearing."

Gumi walked up to Luka's bedroom doorway, peeked inside, and saw what Luka was wearing. "Whoah," she said. "Are you SURE I'm not interrupting you?"

"Nah," Miku said. "We were just playing dress-up. What's up?"

"I just came down to hang out," Gumi said. "If you're sure that I'm not intruding, may I stay for Luka's fashion show?"

"Of course," Luka said sweetly. "We were just getting started."

A deeply disturbing smile came to Miku's face. "I just thought of something even better. Luka? May I have your consent to..." She whispered her thought in Luka's ear.

"Yes," a submissive Luka said readily. "You have my consent."

Gumi raised an eyebrow. "What are you up to now?"

"Gumi? Watch this." Miku cleared her throat. "Luka, you are now my mannequin. You're allowed to move your eyes and blink, but you are NOT allowed to move in any other way, to talk, or even to breathe."

Luka immediately froze in place.

"Oh wow. She can do that because she's a vampire, right? Remind me never to play freeze tag with her." Gumi walked up to Luka and examined her more closely. "And she really isn't even breathing. How long can she do that?"

"As far as I know, until she needs blood or sleep," Miku said. "Luka, are you OK with being our dress-up doll for a few hours?"

Luka patiently rolled her eyes.

"Oh, right. Sorry," Miku said. "Um... blink once for no, twice for yes."

Luka blinked twice.

Miku turned back to Gumi. "So, ya wanna play with my dress-up doll?"

"Can we brush your hair and do your make-up too?" Gumi asked Luka.

Luka blinked twice again.

"I'm in," Gumi declared.


End file.
